tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3573997081449536840.post4001341278635372183..comments2023-11-05T09:33:58.583+00:00Comments on Nuts in May: Out Of The Woods?Maggie Mayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06183886005936250976noreply@blogger.comBlogger20125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3573997081449536840.post-72096168701960345702012-12-06T23:31:22.661+00:002012-12-06T23:31:22.661+00:00ugh...it sucks being caught in the middle like tha...ugh...it sucks being caught in the middle like that...and its heartbreaking the parents can become so selfish...if it is happening to your loved ones i am sorry...and i hope the one doing it wisens up...Brian Millerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00722940075884718007noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3573997081449536840.post-35913655073925980382012-12-05T15:21:56.748+00:002012-12-05T15:21:56.748+00:00Back when my son was 12, his father started tellin...Back when my son was 12, his father started telling him he could choose who he wanted to live with -me or him. The boy asked if this was true and I said it sort of is -it's something that must be approved though by a judge. For over a month, the boy was upset, confused, depressed, etc., and I told him I would allow him to choose but he would have to see a counselor/therapist first and so, for over the next six months, he as well as my younger daughter and I saw a therapist. Then one day, we walked into the therapist's office and my son announced he had made a decision. My heart was in my stomach until I heard him say "I've decided I want to stay with my Mom!" Best words I've ever heard, for sure. Why some parents dangle carrots in front of their kids or stir up all kinds of issues -legal, moral, ethical, etc., is beyond me but will say prayers that all ends well for your grandkids as they are the ones who really have to cope with things like this. Jenihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16425701332785470116noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3573997081449536840.post-33185279804066558502012-12-05T01:54:02.865+00:002012-12-05T01:54:02.865+00:00My ex and I were very careful to make the kids the...My ex and I were very careful to make the kids the priority when we divorced. They were half-time with each of us, and the way that got divided has shifted over the years as their needs changed. I don't think they've ever felt placed in the middle. When you have children, it is only fair to make their needs come first.Secret Agent Womanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07564690116156754219noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3573997081449536840.post-68200932305564435772012-12-04T19:01:38.216+00:002012-12-04T19:01:38.216+00:00I was lucky that my parents didn't play games ...I was lucky that my parents didn't play games with my sister and I and also lucky my husband never played games with our son (nor did I) - I hate to hear of people who use their children as pawns, it shows selfishness to me as the children's feelings need to be put first as tug-of-loves can cause huge ongoing problems even in later life<br /><br />Hope all is well with you and yours and everything works out ok xxxFeltByRaehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09259936213524678492noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3573997081449536840.post-45090019737916826882012-12-03T22:33:30.646+00:002012-12-03T22:33:30.646+00:00So sad this still goes on in this day and age. I h...So sad this still goes on in this day and age. I hope the judge looks to the childrens' welfare and happiness before the "rights" of the parent who abandoned them in the first place.Wendyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14788733654505792266noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3573997081449536840.post-29896591749332486252012-12-03T21:15:32.712+00:002012-12-03T21:15:32.712+00:00Oh Maggie I have been there and it's a gruelli...Oh Maggie I have been there and it's a gruelling process which only lines the pockets of solicitors. As you say the older they get the more they can choose but mine - I am realising-would rather be with me than their father but their loyalty makes them keep visiting him, I still find it painful.<br /><br />I hope common sense rules for those you mention. In the mean time, it feels like everything is in the judges hands...I hope he/she has the sense to see the real solution.<br /><br />Hugs xSuburbiahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05352465945711496612noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3573997081449536840.post-75966947312206672362012-12-03T20:24:23.412+00:002012-12-03T20:24:23.412+00:00It's very sad when that sort of thing happens....It's very sad when that sort of thing happens. I remember with great fondness how both of my parents, when they divorced at my age of 15, let me know that I would be able to stay in the home where I was, which was also where My Dad was remaining, which was the easiest route for me. I greatly appreciated that. Neither of them would make me have to choose. And while their divorce was not particularly amicable, neither one ever badmouthed the other one to me. They handled it as well as it could be handled when it came to my needs in the matter.<br /><br />I find it amazing whenever a parent is selfish enough to disrupt a child's decent life in order to fulfill either their needs or to make the other parent pay somehow.Suldoghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07778845367184916684noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3573997081449536840.post-29771518472426890772012-12-03T15:14:00.013+00:002012-12-03T15:14:00.013+00:00Obviously a cry from the heart. We have become fam...Obviously a cry from the heart. We have become familiar with a somewhat similar situation. Family Court exits to mediate and rule, but it is a long and certainly expensive procedure.Beryl Amenthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17434257277408290473noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3573997081449536840.post-75302946111377587462012-12-03T14:58:13.407+00:002012-12-03T14:58:13.407+00:00I hope that woman is just temporarily confused and...I hope that woman is just temporarily confused and not serious about this decision. I hope the children are listened to and are taken seriously. I hope the good guys win. Irenehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05043376053971475659noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3573997081449536840.post-89087877432055216532012-12-03T14:40:34.815+00:002012-12-03T14:40:34.815+00:00Unfortunately many adults use the children to get ...Unfortunately many adults use the children to get back at each other. Hopefully the courts will see this. Expat mumhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17798190669591053390noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3573997081449536840.post-63478971225127632842012-12-03T04:05:33.489+00:002012-12-03T04:05:33.489+00:00It may sound judgmental on my part, but anyone who...It may sound judgmental on my part, but anyone who walks out and leaves their children in a supposedly bad situation which they supposedly couldn't handle themselves totally forfeits the right to have those children back. Now visiting rights are something else. Of course every case is different. In India there are different social and family problems and I've heard of situations where an unwanted spouse was driven away by mental torture and had to get away from a bad situation before they could get their bearings and come back for their children. As far as possible, I think custody should always be shared with the kids remaining with one parent while the other parent has visiting rights and some input into the decisions concerning their children. As a believer, I think that prayer is very important when cases like this come up, especially prayers for wisdom for the judge who has to make the final decision.<br /><br />An interesting post. It shows something that I've always believed - that divorce and separation is not the passport to freedom and an uncomplicated life.<br />Mariahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09977676093756206414noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3573997081449536840.post-63044951301461419282012-12-02T20:13:42.648+00:002012-12-02T20:13:42.648+00:00Ugly. She sounds pretty unstable to me. Hope it al...Ugly. She sounds pretty unstable to me. Hope it all works out for you.<br />MARY Ghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13178370815712313585noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3573997081449536840.post-39985618401404551782012-12-02T15:27:34.798+00:002012-12-02T15:27:34.798+00:00The only ones who "win" in a situation l...The only ones who "win" in a situation like this are the lawyers. The welfare and happiness of the children should always come first, but sadly, I don't think that a judge always sees the best situation for them. I hope and pray this isn't happening in your family right now, Maggie.Rosehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01384059342847120951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3573997081449536840.post-28295527272366001142012-12-02T11:57:27.322+00:002012-12-02T11:57:27.322+00:00All too often children are used as pawns by bitter...All too often children are used as pawns by bitter couples. :(Akelamaluhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11234268568845148285noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3573997081449536840.post-22400021306610576832012-12-02T08:20:48.131+00:002012-12-02T08:20:48.131+00:00
Custody battles are the worse and a situation lik...<br />Custody battles are the worse and a situation like this is tragic...the children always end up with the short stick.<br />Hugs<br />SueAnnSueannhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05299288406218968621noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3573997081449536840.post-88563533204863544342012-12-02T02:23:25.907+00:002012-12-02T02:23:25.907+00:00When I read or hear about a custody battle, I am s...When I read or hear about a custody battle, I am so sad, Maggie. I wish that all could be well and right with all dear children of this world. <br />I hope that all turns out well for the children. I do.<br />I send you love...<br />JackieJackiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01214796594702277709noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3573997081449536840.post-5922813636360018452012-12-02T01:48:48.202+00:002012-12-02T01:48:48.202+00:00Definitely the kids' happiness and welfare sho...Definitely the kids' happiness and welfare should come first.<br />Not fair to walk out on them and then come back and expect to be able to turn back the clock.<br />I sincerely hope everyone is out of the woods soon, and on the right path.Mimihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08100985140335023467noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3573997081449536840.post-66272309079202658732012-12-01T22:42:59.201+00:002012-12-01T22:42:59.201+00:00How can a mother not see her kids are happy and wh...How can a mother not see her kids are happy and where they need to be....Their happiness is the most important. I hope it all goes in your families favor. Hang in there and have a wonderful weekend!Formerly known as Frauhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12798890008067408048noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3573997081449536840.post-11222740095283964012012-12-01T21:46:43.445+00:002012-12-01T21:46:43.445+00:00One would have to hope that the judge knows the fu...One would have to hope that the judge knows the full story and understands the children's needs very well. If only the absent parent had that same understanding. I hope this is not happening in your family, Maggie..Hilaryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12787493532006658679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3573997081449536840.post-74218779156313290082012-12-01T16:52:03.972+00:002012-12-01T16:52:03.972+00:00My heart breaks over this post. I don't under...My heart breaks over this post. I don't understand the thoughts behind a person who does such things. I went through such a custody battle many years ago. My family was split in half by the judge who thought he was doing a fair thing, for whom, I will never know. Such things have no fairness to them whatsoever. The children are always the losers. I am so sorry to read that this is happening. My prayers for a speedy resolution that favors the children are being sent your way. Sally Wesselyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06470453773515491625noreply@blogger.com