Nuts in May

Kokeshi Doll Surprise

2012-01-29T14:50:00.006Z

Photos copyright: Maggie May

I have a collection of Kokeshi dolls that was started when my son lived in Japan and added to when Harry and I went to visit him. This is just a small section of them. They are made of wood and originated in the city of Kokeshi, Japan, though there are many shops in England selling them now.

Imagine how thrilled I was when the postman brought me a little parcel at the weekend and I found a lovely pincushion and a lavender bag hand made by Rae. They even have a little name tag on the side with her blog name Felt by Rae.

She is full of craft ideas.

Anyway, thank you Rae, it was a lovely gift.

I have the results of my CT scan mid week and am just hoping for the best.

Harry is having great difficulty walking freely because of pain in his feet. We have bought arch supports and just hope that in time he will improve.

Irresistible Or What?

2012-01-24T15:54:00.008Z

Photos Copyright: Maggie May

I am always quite eager to go out for a little journey if my son asks me to accompany him and it doesn't take much to make me happy!

Some how or other, on such a journey, we often find ourselves in a very large pet shop because Sam knows that I love to look around. On this occasion, I did need a few rabbit supplies, so after I had picked out what I needed, I went to look at the rabbit enclosures and spent some time looking at them. There must be quite a turnover of rabbits because they seem to have different ones there every time I look.

There is always a small section where unwanted rabbits are put up for adoption, which is quite sad. Usually there is a note to say the owner had to move and so couldn't take them to the new home.

Anyway, on this visit something else caught my son's attention and he asked me if I had my camera handy, which I had.

These baby degus were perched on top of a rope ladder and snuggled up together. They stayed like that for the whole of the time we were there. There was a fourth little chap who for some reason didn't want to sit on the ladder next to his siblings but he seemed to be desperate for company and followed our hands around his enclosure. He let us tickle him.

My son decided to take a leaflet on their upkeep and care. I was most surprised by this.

Goodness knows if it will end up with him allowing the girls to have pets.

I had quite a few comments about my injured fox in the last post. I haven't seen the fox since but there is a strong smell of fox in my garden, so it obviously visits, probably at night. I wish I knew how to get rid of the aroma of fox.

Some of you thought the fox might be under the shed. However there is only a couple of inches of space over concrete which means it would be impossible to access and the floor of the shed is intact. The Officer from the RSPCA thought the fox might well have had a very old injury that he learnt to cope with and he described him as chunky. He would have been a forager, he said. So maybe he's not as badly off as we first imagined.

The One That Got Away

2012-01-20T10:58:00.001Z

Photo Copyright: Maggie May

Last Sunday at breakfast time, Harry exclaimed, "There's a fox in the garden!"

I looked out and saw a fox walking with three legs as one of its hind legs was injured and was being held flat to its tummy in a paralysed state.

I told Harry that it was injured but he hadn't noticed. I looked out again and saw a perfectly healthy fox running about.

This went on for a while. One moment it seemed injured and the next it was perfectly OK.

I was puzzled but then noticed there were two of them. One was injured and the other quite healthy.

The sleek, slightly smaller fox jumped over the wall but the injured fox couldn't make it even though he seemed desperate to follow the other one. The poor thing just didn't seem to have the power to jump the height of the wall with just one back leg.

Not wanting to spook the animal by opening the back door, I decided he might get out if I left him, so Harry and I set off on our very short journey to church.

I was surprised and somewhat dismayed to see the fox lying low amongst some shrubs when we returned from church.

I made the dinner and went out in the afternoon, returning a couple of hours later.

The fox was still there.

Well I didn't want to feed it. I didn't want it in my garden. I have rabbits and they are prey.

I decided to ring the RSPCA. (Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals).

With it being Sunday, that meant listening to lots of recorded messages and pressing multitudes of button choices. Eventually I got through to a real person who, after questioning me closely about the situation, told me there would be some one coming to collect it within the hour.

Mr Fox was curled up under a small tree when the officer came with a huge wire basket and a neck grasper and a pair of leather gloves.

I guessed he'd done this before.

I led him through the house into the garden. The minute that fox set eyes on the Officer and the neck grasper, he shot towards the shed and disappeared.

After much searching and shining the powerful torch the Officer had brought, he concluded that panic and adrenalin had given the fox the boost it needed to get over the wall.

I felt a bit of a fool but was assured that it does happen all the time. He left with an empty cage and so far, we haven't seen a fox since.

Well, my Sunday was a bit different.

Allotment Wassailing

2012-01-14T16:55:00.002Z

Photos Copyright: Maggie May

The weather was sunny but crisp. There was activity on the local allotment. People were heading there in dribs and drabs, families mostly but older people went too.

What could be driving so many to visit the community orchard on our local district allotment?

Today was Wassailing Day.

An ancient tradition in the south of England that attempts to get the sap rising in the apple trees and encourage them to start to grow. This involved putting toast that had been dipped in cider, on a tree branch. Getting the children to bang on tins to get rid of all the bugs lurking around and pouring last year's cider around the apple trees to get them to produce more apples.

It was mainly aimed at the children and they all seemed to participate in this ancient fun tradition.

I normally go with my granddaughters, however, they now have to go to Japanese School with their mother every Saturday. Other years, Sam has taken part in the Morris Dancing display, but sciatica has prevented him from taking part since last summer. Even though the pain has much improved since he stopped dancing, he didn't feel he could risk starting another flare up of pain.

Still, it was good to catch up with the others who I'd got to know and exchange a few words with them and to watch them dance.

This was perhaps the biggest crowd of people who had attended since the first time that I'd ever witnessed it.

Things change with time and never stay the same.

Last year, I wrote about a similar visit on Wassailing Day.

The allotments (plots of land for growing vegetables and fruits), are good places to snap up scenes with a camera. There are always little nooks and crannies that I find fascinating.

After spending an hour or two in the cold, I was glad of a hot cup of tea when I got home and to toast my cold fingers and toes in front of the gas fire. Then there was the prospect of a Chinese take away that Harry always seems to get on a Saturday (no matter how he is feeling) and a cosy evening in watching TV or reading. Contentment.

Do others take pleasure in doing such basic, maybe boring things?

To Feed Or Not To Feed?

2012-01-08T13:50:00.000Z

Photos Copyright: Maggie May

After a bout of rainy weather, I went out to top up the bird feeders. I noticed that the seed gets very yucky in wet weather and mould is not at all good for birds. So I bought a gleaming new plastic dome, which has three holes for the birds to perch on while they take the drier seed. This surely must be much more rain proof.

That was several weeks ago and although I don't watch all day long, so far, I haven't seen anything land on the new globe. I think the shiny reflections scare them away. This makes me wonder why they are being sold in leading garden centres if the birds are scared of them.

The old faithfuls come to the old feeder and take their chance on the soggy contents.

Although we used to have a large flock of sparrows who stopped to feed everyday, they seemed to vanish very suddenly a good while ago. After a long time, three came back and they have gradually built their numbers up to a few more. We also have blue tits and great tits visiting from time to time and a robin.

I'm not sure whether I should be feeding them or not because some of my neighbours seem to have several cats who prowl round my garden (as well as dirty in it.) Its funny how you can really love your own cats........ and I used to have three...... (who fouled other peoples' gardens), but be resentful of other peoples' fouling mine.

Anyway, I do find feathers about in the garden and wonder just how many birds get killed coming to my feeders and wonder if it is balanced out by the ones who are sustained by the food, who might not survive at all if they didn't have my seeds to eat. It seems to be a juggling act.

What do others feel about this dilemma?

I'm pleased to say that Harry is picking up a bit now, after being diagnosed with anaemia following his last chemo. So it is liver for him twice a week (yuk, I'm practically a vegetarian) as well as iron pills.

So here's hoping that he will get over this blip and feel like going out more, pretty soon.

Rick's Christmas Homework

2012-01-03T01:40:00.003Z

Photos Copyright: Maggie May

The Christmas and New Year period went very fast and now my daughter and grandsons have gone home and it seems very quiet here now.

I was very grateful to my daughter for all the help she gave me with the mounting up of cleaning jobs that neither Harry nor I have been able to do very easily. I thought I had tidied up the place before she came, but she got to hidden places and dealt with them, often in secret.

Now I will have to make a better effort to do regular tidy up jobs and get rid of surplus clutter on a daily basis.

New Years Resolution? I don't think so, but I will endeavour to do a little more and often.

When the grandsons came to visit, Rick who is on the Autistic scale (nearer the top) and who isn't exactly an easy child being 15 yrs old, brought an art project to do here because he had not completed it at school.

It seemed to be a mammoth task and involved bags of material and my ironing board and iron and a good chunk of my back room. This went on for days during the holiday and the difficulty was getting him to start the work in the first place. He seemed to think it was a very overwhelming thing to have to do and he was very down hearted about it.

Rick does not believe in homework and seems to be constantly at loggerheads with his teachers who make him stay in at lunch times to complete it. This suits Rick fine as he doesn't like noise and would much prefer to be in a quiet place and to retreat into his own safe little world. There was a dead line to finish this work and he is a very slow but thorough worker. He had to follow a plan and complete a collage of nine squares individually made and I assume they will be fitted together somehow at school and will go towards his exam result.

Although it was a great effort on our part to get him motivated, when he did get going, it started to take shape and on the last day of the holiday, he completed the last square to much cheering and encouragement. I took photos and told him it would be going on my blog. He was so thrilled to have finished it on time and the look of satisfaction on his face was a treat to see.

I would have loved to do this when I was his age, but would have probably worked a little on each square to get the general effect first. However Rick likes to work meticulously one square at a time, so that only he new what each square was supposed to be and he left the middle bit of the face till the last.

So well done Rick! Hope the school like it and realise what a tremendous amount of time and effort you spent on it.

Happy New Year

2011-12-30T21:11:00.002Z

Photo Copyright: Maggie May

Forgive the quality of this photo. It was night time and I used a setting that I thought would come out well and only found out later that it wasn't very good and I only took this one.

A few days ago, we went for a walk around Clifton Suspension Bridge just as it was getting dark, for a little exercise.

I'd never crossed the bridge before when it was all lit up.

I've been extremely busy with my daughter and grandsons' visit.

I accompanied them to see the boys' other grandmother, who lives in Birmingham and also to Sidmouth to see the other grandfather. It was good to be able to go further afield as it is some time since I managed to get out that far. I really enjoyed the change of scenery.

Hope you all had a lovely Christmas, as we did. It went far too quickly and we ate too much, as usual. I will not make another New Years Resolution to lose weight, as I did last year, as I will probably not live up to it, just as I didn't last time.

Harry has not been at all well since his last chemo and has not picked up very well. He is suffering from anaemia and has oedema of the legs and tummy which the doctor is treating with different drugs. I hope he will respond to these.

I'd like to wish you all a Happy New Year.

Happy Christmas Everyone.

2011-12-18T16:13:00.005Z

Photo Copyright: Maggie May

Last year, Denise from Mrs Nesbitt's Space, sent me the pattern for this Nativity and because it was nearly Christmas when I received it, I only managed to finish Mary, Joseph and Jesus. I went on knitting the rest of the figures though and then just put all the pieces in a bag and forgot about them because Spring had sprung. As this Christmas approached, I decided to get out the pieces again and try to put them together. So here they are. I haven't quite finished the kings though. There always seems so many more important things to do. Maybe they will be finished in time for Epiphany in the New Year. Isn't that the time when the kings are noted for their arrival?

Although I will try and visit other people's blogs, I am going to be really busy with last minute Christmas rush and my daughter and grandsons' visit and babysitting the girls, so I might not get another post out before Christmas. So I want to take this opportunity to wish you all a very Happy and Blessed Christmas.

The Time to Celebrate

2011-12-13T10:13:00.006Z

Photos Copyright: Maggie May

I can't believe that a whole week has passed since I last wrote a post. Whatever have I been doing?

Well.....I have been busy with Millie's party, which was a great success.

My friend, Audrey played a huge part in organising it and choosing many of the games.

One game that was a great success was turning a new terracotta plant pot up on end onto a large plate. Then the children take turns to pick up jelly beans or Smarties with a fork and try to get as many in through the small opening as possible while being timed by a timer. This was not an easy task but anything that did make it through the hole in the bottom of the pot could be eaten by the child whose go it was.

Another game was to try to cut a large bar of chocolate with a fork, while being timed and a die was also being rolled all the time by the person whose go it was next. This meant that not many children got to eat much chocolate because they had to move along, but this didn't seem to deter them trying.

They played *Pass the Parcel* and everyone got a prize, so nobody felt left out.

The children, who were mainly aged 7 yrs, did much organising themselves and the party seemed to go without too much effort from grownups and everyone seemed to enjoy it.

This was the first home party that my son had ever been able to have and he now feels he would definitely be able to cope with other ones. (With his team of helpers, of course).

This is also the time of school concerts and today I went to watch Millie in her school production of a musical that represented The Nativity but emphasised the different countries of the world who celebrate it. There were songs from other lands and the children were in different national outfits and there was also an emphasis on World Peace. I have been invited to see another class doing the same thing later today when I will be able to see Audrey's youngest child taking part. I thought Millie's production was magnificent and look forward to seeing the second one because I am sure the different children taking part in the next one will bring out quite different qualities and make it feel as though I am not watching a repeat.

As well as the school activities around Christmastime, I look forward to going to all the Church events. Carol singing and church choirs. However, our weather has taken a real turn for the worse and we are experiencing gales and cold, slashing rain so I think I shall have to miss Carols In The Park.

These are all things that make me feel like celebrating Christmas, so it is a great pity that the outdoor activities will be spoilt. Never mind, there are still plenty of indoor concerts to go to. What gets you in the mood for Christmas?

A Taste Of Summer

2011-12-06T12:54:00.006Z

Photo Copyright: Maggie May

Lets have a taste of summer, shall we?

I expect you will remember Clare Dunn did a painting of this summer photo of a corner of my garden some time ago and I promised that I would show a picture of it when it was framed.

I am very pleased with the result but have fiddled and fiddled to try to get a good photo of the picture in the frame and it looks more of a yellowy green in the photo than it does in reality. As I don't ever touch up photos, there is nothing that I can do about it....... except to say that I am very pleased with the result of the actual picture in the frame.

The light is shining in the wrong places, no matter what I try to do.

I am not a very good photographer, Clare.

Well in reality, we are far from summer and I am suddenly realising how near Christmas is and how little I have done about it. So now I am furiously trying to catch up and get things organised before my daughter and grandsons arrive the week before the holiday begins.

I went shopping in town today and probably, because of the bad state of finance in the whole of Europe, including England, there were not as many crowds about as usual, so I was finished in good time. I think one more trip to town should just about do it.

Anyway, although it is a bit chilly, the sun is bravely trying to shine through, which is really weird for December.

I have been busy helping my son with his house, sometimes just house sitting while he goes out because of an expected delivery. There is also a party to help with this week as youngest granddaughter is having a 7th Birthday. This is the first time they've been able to have a party at home, so there is a lot of planning and organising to do. Our friend, Audrey is helping and has come up with some really good ideas.

I have had a poorly rabbit to contend with and every morning, I have to trick Lily into thinking she is coming out for a cuddle and having to surreptitiously pop a syringe of antibiotic into her mouth. No easy task as she knows what I am going to do.

I am trying to finish the little Nativity figures that I started knitting last year, so one way or another, blogging has taken a back seat.

Harry has finished chemo 10 and took a long time to get over it compared to all the others. I think he had reached his endurance limit. However, he is now getting stronger. I am also a bit more energetic than I was, so lets hope we all stay well till the New Year at least and well beyond would be good.

Locked In A Shed

2011-11-29T17:00:00.000Z

Photos Copyright: Maggie May

No two days seem the same, weather wise.

I spent some time in Sam's garden, discussing the plans he was making to revamp it. Naturally, Rome wasn't built in a day and there are many things that he might choose to do first.

While we were talking, the sky really blackened and threatened us with a storm. However, there was a gusty wind blowing north and the storm clouds were carried away almost as fast as they had appeared.

Last week, I spent a morning at Sam's house in lovely sunshine and we were able to sit out on garden chairs while we sipped tea and planned what we'd do to make the garden more presentable.

After relaxing this way for a while, I remarked that between the two of us, we might be able to put up the second hand garden shed that he'd recently had delivered in a flat pack state.

It looked a fair sized shed when we'd first seen it, so it would be heavy and Sam knew that I couldn't do any lifting.

I said that I thought I could hold the sides while Sam screwed the panels together. So we got out of the chairs and I was given an end piece to hold so that Sam could screw this onto the longer side piece. The minute that we started to do this fairly simple task, the sun went in as gusts of wind blew quite strongly and in sudden bursts.

This was totally unexpected, but being the stubborn people that we are, I stood my ground hanging onto two panels while Sam quickly used his power drill to join them together. All the time the end piece kept slipping off the base which made things difficult and slowed us down while it was put back into position.

Once the second side piece had been secured, then it was much easier and it stayed in place but the wind was blowing the sides out of shape at this stage. The second end piece was screwed onto the ends of the side pieces and that stood really rigid.

We went to open the door but found we were locked inside the shell of the shed. It was too high for either of us to leap over the side, so the end piece with the door had to be unscrewed and taken off to let me out before being reassembled from the inside. I had the key!

There was no way that either of us could lift the heavy roof in place and that had to wait until strong friends could help.

That very afternoon two friends did arrive to help with it and the shed now stands lost and not looking quite so big in the vast garden, but it is quite roomy inside.

Now look at the garden that has been neglected for years. We really need a goat or two to clear the course grass and weeds.

I wish I was twenty years younger so that I could help with the digging.

We think that the garden would look good if it was made into *little compartments* to break up the monotony of the length, with trellis and little archways.

It would look good with some grass and some vegetable and flower beds with windy paths.

Any ideas, anyone?

A Barn in my House?

2011-11-23T18:54:00.006Z

Photos Copyright: Maggie May

My lucky little rabbits have just received an early Christmas present.

It was a friend who first put the idea into my head. She told me I was making things hard for myself transferring Ash and Lily from hutch to run each morning and evening and having to clean out two lots of accommodation. She suggested a Bunny Barn and told me to look on the web site for a bargain.

Well, I soon found one and within three days of ordering, the flat pack was delivered.

My son, Sam, being a carpenter by trade, soon had the barn standing in one piece. In fact it took him less than 15 mins from start to finish.

As the bunnies were quite used to their old way of life and knowing that rabbits like routine, I wondered what they'd think of their new abode.

After the shock of finding themselves in a completely different environment, they gingerly sniffed their way around their new habitat but avoided the steep ramp to their sleeping quarters for a long time. I knew Ash, the black rabbit would soon get over his reservations because Netherland Dwarf rabbits are quite agile jumpers. However, Lily is a little more sturdy and chunky and her legs are much shorter. I wondered if she'd ever get the hang of going up to the top level. It wasn't until the next day that she tentatively started to mount the ramp but when she got to the top, she couldn't quite grasp how to get off the ramp and onto the landing so she let herself slide all the way down again and chickened out. She didn't attempt it again for a long time. Ash, on the other hand was by then, racing up and down the ramp as though he'd always been doing it. He practically leaps off the top of the landing in what looks like a suicide jump.

A day later, Lily finally plucked up the courage to go and inspect the upstairs living quarters but then she decided she couldn't get back down.

I can remember having to show my late cats how to use a cat flap and I had to do the same with Lily and the ramp.

Anybody coming into my house would have seen me lying on the floor with my head inside the run, coaxing the bunny up and down the ramp with dried apple treats.

The effort definitely paid off and everyone seems satisfied with this new abode. It certainly looks better than the run, is easier to clean and the rabbits still use their tray as a toilet and they have so much space to exercise in and I seem to have more time as I'm not transferring the bunnies to another place twice a day.

They come out regularly for cuddles though.

So thank you, dear friend, for putting me on the right track. sometimes other people can see things more clearly.

Winters Strange Beginnings

2011-11-18T09:40:00.010Z

Photos Copyright: Maggie May

This winter has started off extraordinarily mild and it seems so strange to have fuchsias, honeysuckle and roses still in full bloom.

Today it is warmer here than in Florence, Italy.

It is very unusual to find these plants in flower in the winter time in our part of the country.

My garden is a bit of a mess as neither Harry nor I can do very much work out there at the moment. It seems to really aggravate my back and hip. However, I do what I can when I can.

If you notice the last photo, you will see that I had a tub planted up with tulip bulbs. I am fed up with the way that foxes seem to be digging everything up. You can see that they have started to dig down into the earth to see if the bulbs are worth eating. In my front garden they have dug out the primula plants that I carefully put into a pot to brighten the winter days. They also scattered earth right over the path and they often leave their mess for me to clean up too.

Just as well my bunnies are tucked up in the house otherwise they would be really scared of these night time predators and might end up as an easy dinner.

They are city foxes and probably come from nearby allotments. When I first saw them, I was quite surprised as they are quite tame and one once tried to come into my house.

They are an extreme nuisance and I don't encourage them at all, though I know that some people do put food out for them.

Harry is just about to start his tenth session of chemotherapy and should be feeling better by Christmas. I think my daughter and grandsons are coming over for Christmas so that will be something good to look forward to.

I have a scan some time in January and will get the results the following month. I'm not looking forward to that at all.

I do have a chance that everything will be well though and these chances make a difference to my outlook.

The Move on a Special Date

2011-11-12T20:49:00.008Z

Photo copyright: Maggie May

I've been really busy over the last few days because of my son's recent house move.

The move happened on the 11th day of the eleventh month of the eleventh year of the 21st century. (Armistice Day). It will be impossible to forget that date.

It seemed to run smoothly and although it was exhausting for all the friends who lifted things into and out of the hire van, and then into the *new* house, it seemed to go well.

It is amazing how friends rally round in times of need and Sam is very lucky to have such a good bunch of friends. I don't know what he would have done without all the help. One friend even hired a small van and all of them made several trips from the old home to the new in their cars as well as the van. All of these friends worked really hard and it couldn't have been easy.

These friends' kindness and hard work will not be forgotten by any of us.

I couldn't do as much physically as I wanted to do mentally. One of the tricks that old age plays on one is that somehow or other, the mind doesn't age as fast as the body does. I can be sitting in a chair, rearranging things and moving things, in my head, but when I come to actually try to put these things into practice, then my body often cannot cope with the exertion and lets me down.

I work for ten minutes and rest for twenty. It is a very sad state of affairs.

If I thought all the boxes were going to be moved from my house as soon as the move occurred, then I was very wrong. Sam's house, although bigger than the last one, has boxes and things stacked in every room. So it will be weeks before he takes the ones from here.

The house will need to be redecorated throughout (eventually) and at some point a garage needs to be built. However, the house was the important part and all the rest can happen slowly. The children will be nearer their school, Sam will be nearer to friends and to us and the neighbourhood seems very friendly.

I would like to thank all the friends who helped with the real hard work, two men and two women.... I think you all know who you are, and I know several of you read this blog.

Keep On Practising

2011-11-05T14:39:00.007Z

Photos Copyright: Maggie May

Last time I wrote a post, I was furiously trying to de-clutter (and I still am) but with my son's imminent move now only days away, there is more and more of his stuff coming into my house. I see boxes being smuggled into the loft and I groan.

"Its only the size of a shoebox, Mum", He says. Who is he trying to kid? I see the huge size of them out of the corner of my eye.

Yesterday, he called round with a very heavy coffee table, that has now been dumped into my lounge.

Today, while I was out shopping he called round with a piano/organ already coupled to the mains and being played.

"You can have it for the week," He announced.

I used to have a miniature piano when I first moved into this house but when my children left home, I decided I wanted more space and sold it. The thing I really regret is letting all my music go too. I think it would be worth a lot of money now as much of it was passed down to me by my parents. It would have been classed as vintage.

So there I was, with a small piano/organ and no music.

Not that I can really play. I learnt for a year or two when I was a child but never took any grades.

However, when I was a teenager I could sight read a piece of music and bash out a tune....... slowly...... and painfully.

I went round some charity shops today and asked if any of them had any piano music and one had. They were charging quite a lot though, because, as the saleslady had said, the music is very old. Nothing like rubbing my nose in it.

The pieces I bought were very hard but I hope to practise and improve a bit. My son said that I can go to his house to practise during the day, especially if he is out. It will only be a short walk away.

I am also going out walking more and sometimes the only time I can spare is just around dusk. It is good to watch the changing skies while I do this.

Yes, I think I am getting stronger.

Reclaiming My House

2011-11-01T21:00:00.001Z

Photo copyright: Maggie May

I'd been looking forward to seeing my daughter and grandsons and when they arrived last weekend, I was dismayed that I found myself fighting off some kind of virus that caused painful glands in the neck and aching limbs and snuffles.

When I was working in the school until quite recently, I had built up a resistance to most things and was rarely ill with anything that was going round.

I think seeing me like that worried Deb a lot. Anyway, by Sunday afternoon, I started to feel better and we went out for a walk together. Then she had to leave.

I found myself crying after they'd all gone. I haven't done that for a long time.

However, I woke up feeling heaps better the next day and started to do quite a bit of tidying up.

Unused to this sudden surge of energy, I decided to do as much as possible. I collected all the old videos together that the children used to love but have now grown out of.

I filled up a small trolley and off I set to our local High Street where there are about a dozen Charity shops.

It soon became apparent that I couldn't leave the videos in the first few shops that I tried and they all told me the same story. There was no call for them and they recommended that I throw them all on the Council tip.

I went home with my load of unacceptable donations and decided that I would try ringing the largest local charity shop that was the furthest distance from me. This proved quite fruitful as they told me to come with them straight away.

Off I set with my trolley full of unwanted Walt Disney films. It did make me feel a little twinge of nostalgia when I thought of all the times my grandsons had been glued to the screen watching these films and later my granddaughters who did the same.

When I returned home with my lighter trolley I was surprised how the Spring Cleaning mode carried on and I spent the whole day tidying up.

Now what has caused this, do you think?

Well Sam has been given a date to move into his house (God forbid that anything should go wrong at this late stage.)

When they came as a family straight from Japan to live with me for almost a year, my house was completely taken over. They brought mess with them and it gradually spread over every available surface. When they moved to a different location, the children still went to the local school so came round every school morning and quite often the evening too. Quite regularly they spent the night here, so their muddles just stayed and were needed here, I was told.

I couldn't keep up with all the mounds of papers and toys and clothes lying everywhere. It seemed too much.

Amber was just five and Millie not yet three when they first came, so during those four years there was a lot of junk of theirs lying around. Why did they have at least six coats and dozens of shoes each? Not to mention scarves and hats and gloves that filled several bags. I could have started my own charity shop.

Now I am hoping to clear it up. The muddles can go to their own house and I am claiming my house back. So I have an incentive to press on with it.

All we need now is the final document to be signed and we await with bated breath......

Mood Lift

2011-10-27T15:01:00.002+01:00

Photo Copyright Maggie May

I expect you will all be pleased to hear that my mood has lifted! Thank God for that, you might be mumbling.

The reason why? Well yesterday I went to Oncology for my review concerning the fact it had been a month since my last radiation treatment.

I was given a thorough overhaul and was able to tell the consultant (who had arranged the radiation in the first place) that I was aching and not feeling as well as I should be.

He told me that it will be two more months before he would even consider me anything like normal and he said I was being really hard on myself. He felt I was doing fine. I will be having a scan in the New Year.

The consultant told me he would not have put me through so radical a treatment unless I had a very good chance of being free of the problem for a good while.

So I have to believe that.

I felt like hugging him and came out skipping. I am off all pain relief now and am thinking of getting twin beds so that I can get a decent nights sleep with out getting clumped in the back by a restless husband.

Harry starts chemo 9 tomorrow and his consultant is also very happy with him. Looks like we might both feel well for Christmas and fingers crossed...... it seems that my son's house move is on the cards soon.

In one of my posts I wrote that I was reading The Clan of The Cave Bears and that it would do for my winter reading. There are six books in the series. On the whole most people who commented on my post, enjoyed at least the first few books. Some said that they stopped reading them because there was explicit sex in the content and human sacrifice. Well, there is explecit sex content but only in the way that people living then might have experienced it. That was only part of the story and not meant to be pornographic in anyway. Far from it. So far I haven't come across human sacrifice though a bear did get killed in this way. I don't enjoy reading about animals getting killed but this story is meant to have happened 35,000 years before the present civilisation and I think considering, the people are depicted as very civilised and could teach us a thing or two.

I like the storyline and that is why I'm reading the series.

Anyway, I was extremely pleased that my blogging pal, Jinksy, sent me the Mammoth Hunters straight away and is parceling the rest up to be posted soon. So my winter reading is well catered for. Thank you Jinksy.

Thank you Guineapig mum for your kind offer to send the books, but I didn't have your email address and your blog was closed and unavailable.

My daughter is coming for a few days with my grandsons, so I am going to be busy enjoying their company this weekend.

Thank you so much to every one who has written kind things and helped me to feel cared for. You never cease to amaze me the way you are all so lovely and allow me to rant or get depressed, without either avoiding my blog or telling me to snap out of it.

That is true friend ship ....... in the bloggiest kind of way.

Much Ado About Nothing?

2011-10-24T16:03:00.001+01:00

In my last post, I was in a state about the water running down the wall and causing damp to get under the wallpaper in the bathroom, causing mould to grow through the paper and the beginnings of the same in the room beneath.

We couldn't get hold of a plumber who was known to us (unless we took pot luck by getting some one in from The Yellow Pages.) This is always a risky thing to do.

We realised that there must be a problem with the ballcocks in the two tanks connected to the central heating in our roof space, causing the overflow to be in use. The problem was..... where was the outside overflow and why wasn't the water running clear of the wall? On closer examination, it appeared that the overflow had been cut off by the men who had put new facial board on the back of the house when they decorated it over ten years ago. This meant that the water came out from beneath the facial board and tricked down the wall unnoticed until it started to seep through the wall. Obviously there hadn't been a problem with the overflow until recently and that is why it wasn't discovered before.

My son, Sam, went up to the roof space and looked into the tanks and was able to see the need for two new ballcocks and they were easily replaced. Trouble was now, there was a slight leak on the outside of the tank for some reason, that would in time come through the ceiling in the bathroom. So now we had to put a container under the drip and we worked out that this would need emptying twice a day because it took quite a while to fill the container.

In the meantime, my son managed to get a plumber friend to come and see the problem. He called round today and he was very efficient and knew what to do immediately and for a very reasonable price.

The trouble with the facial board can be dealt with maybe in the warmer weather as it will not cause any more problems for a long time.

If I still could get in touch with the men who chopped the pipe off because it would be easier to fit the facial board, then I would. However, after ten years I feel that they are long gone from our lives.

This week has been very up and down for me. The weather went very cold just at the time that the wet was coming into the house and my pain was playing me up and I felt depressed. It is now a month since the last radiation treatment and I have been very disheartened not to be feeling better than I am. I was told the pain would peak after a couple of weeks and then start to diminish. This didn't seem to be happening to me. On top of that I have heard of the death of two other cancer suffers within the last week or so whom I was relating to and thinking that they were a good example of delaying this awful disease with courage....... and now they are gone.

Will I be the next? It is only natural to wonder. Harry, who also has late stage cancer, just says *What will be will be* but I cannot sit back and think like that and am kicking up a fuss. Anything to delay it for a while yet. I have to get to seventy at least but realise that I haven't got a God given right to do so. However, I will give it my best shot.

Dripping Destruction

2011-10-19T13:47:00.008+01:00

Photo Copyright: Maggie May

Over the last few weeks we have experienced many different kinds of weather. We started off with a heat wave and we've had rain, followed by sunshine and then really cold weather, followed by sunshine again and now it seems to have settled into rain and much colder weather.

Wet weather is the last thing I need at the moment because we have a problem with water running down the back of our house and as it is an old stone wall that has no cavity, the damp is coming through the wall and has already ruined the bathroom and is now creeping downstairs.

Naturally we realised that something was wrong and our son, Sam brought a ladder round and cleaned out the gutter above the problem area. He felt that was the answer, but instead of drying out, the wet is continuing to seep through to the inside wall and I think it is something more serious. There is no sign of an overflow pipe oozing water. I wonder where it can be coming from?

Harry has to keep well away from anything dirty that could be harbouring bacteria... because of his lowered resistance caused by chemo therapy and it seems beyond me to be able to do very much myself. Besides, he hasn't the energy or stamina to deal with this anymore than I have.

I keep asking myself, why we didn't move into somewhere smaller and newer when we were in a stronger position a good few years ago. What has kept us in this big house when we are no longer in a position to look after it and do the necessary repairs?

Seems we get over one problem only to be confronted by something else.

I have tried calling plumbers that are known to us, so far with no success.

Isn't it annoying that this is the type of thing that can really wear you to the ground? It seems all we need after having to go through painful, lengthy treatments and life threatening illnesses to be outwitted by water.

Song and Dance?

2011-10-13T16:40:00.005+01:00

No, not dance. I'm not quite up to dancing. However, today I decided to give my singing group a try and a friend, who also wanted to go back to it, went with me. It was good to get back to it but we are right behind, having missed a whole term, so we have to learn eight songs that we didn't know. We didn't realise that we'd chosen the last day of term to go back. So we were given a CD to learn over the holidays in order to catch up. So that worked out very well.

The book in the picture above, was given to me to read from an old boxful of things to be thrown away. At first, I thought it was a children's book but although the cover looks a bit that way, it is for adults judging by what I have read so far.

Actually, it is a set of two books and there are another two similar ones to carry on the story, making that six books altogether. I don't normally go in for long sagas but this first book that I am nowhere near a quarter of the way through, has captured my mind and I can see that this will be my winter reading matter. I will have to get the other books too.

Has anyone else read them and if so did you like them?

Finishing Touches

2011-10-08T14:00:00.007+01:00

Photos Copyright: Maggie May

I copied this idea from another blogger. Although I had made crochet blankets before, I liked the way mrsrunofthemillsblogspot another Maggie, used different sizes of squares in her pattern. I also liked the scalloped edge and was not sure about how to achieve this. My crochet skills are very basic.

It took me from May to the present time to use all the wool from my wool bag and to have pieced together a large shape for a blanket. The other Maggie told me through a comment how to make a scolloped edge and she gave me very easy to follow instructions.

I am very pleased with the finished result.

Sometimes I didn't feel like doing any work on it at all and had regular breaks from it while I read a book or did some other activity. However, it gradually started to take shape and as it grew, I became more enthused with finishing it.

I have heard that we are in for a very hard winter so I shall, no doubt, be very glad to have the blanket to cuddle into during an evenings session watching TV.

What Can People Say?

2011-10-04T09:26:00.005+01:00

Photo Copyright: Maggie May

As the week is passing by, I am reducing my pain relief considerably, and apart from my usual arthritic pain, I am enjoying the freedom from that dreadful bone pain I had prior to the radiation treatments.

Pain is the very opposite of all that is good in life.

It has the power to impair a brain's functioning. It drains your energy. It takes over your mind, your body, your thinking, your creativity.

Like the pains of childbirth, when it has stopped, the severity of it disappears somewhere into the unconscious mind and a little door is shut on it. It isn't until there is a repeat experience of it that you remember how awful it is again.

At present, I am just having to wait and see what happens next and try enjoy each day as it comes.

This doesn't come easily to me.... the born worrier.

Will IT come back?

However, each day is a gift of extra life...... a bonus.

All that I know is ..... that I feel things more intensely. My family and friends mean more to me than before. The sky, the garden flowers and colours all seem more intense than they did before. My freedom seems more important too and I am making plans to go to the singing group again and take trips to the sea.

Everything that isn't life threatening seems to be quite unimportant to me. I used to worry about the most ridiculous things. I wasted so much time doing this.

People, on the whole, seem to be friendly and supportive towards me. However, there are still some who feel terribly awkward when they spot me and would rather run into a shop than to have to say anything.

I feel it is better to risk not saying the right thing than to run away. I don't think there is a right or a wrong thing to say anyway. Just be yourself.

I don't think people find it easy to meet up with anyone who is having a close brush with death. I think its not in our culture. "If I don't have to talk about this, I don't have to face up to the problem of cancer."

They feel threatened when they get close to someone with persistent cancer. It makes them feel under threat too. "If this can happen to her, then it could happen to me. I'd rather not think about it right now."

It is a big problem. One only has to spend a short time in Oncology to realise just how common the problem is.

I hope by talking about it that I will help others to drop their barriers a bit, though much of the time I want to be treated as normal. I am Maggie, the same person as I have always been ..... I experience the same things as you and face the same fears as you.

I just happen to be battling cancer.

I don't always want to talk about it but sometimes I do because my whole life is so tied up with how it affects me and how it makes me feel.

One day it will get me but not yet. I have so many things I want to see.

I want to see my granddaughters at least get settled into Secondary school. I want to share in the joys of their new house. I want to be able to do things with them again.

Amber, my eldest granddaughter, on hearing that I had finished my treatment, said to me, "Oh good now you can start doing things with me again."

She knows that I have cancer and she also knows I've had a problem with a sore bottom. Goodness only knows what she has said at school. (Don't forget that I used to work there.)

Some people see me standing in the playground and look the other way. Some of them are work mates or parents I knew very well. They are not all like that though, by any means.

I often just open my arms and say, "Yes, I'm still here." That seems to break the ice and put others at their ease.

One person who I thought I knew extremely well said to me. How can you just keep acting normal when this is happening to you?"

Well my answer really is, "What else can I do? Do I just lie down and wait to die? It might take a long time and it would be a bit of a waste of time, don't you think?"

I am learning to laugh at this because it is a terrible problem and one that any body might have to face sooner or later.

So how about seeking out someone you know who might be battling cancer or any other disease (that people find difficult) that takes you out of your comfort zone?

You might make a difference in that person's life. More than you think.

Webs In My Face

2011-09-29T09:13:00.006+01:00

Photo Copyright: Maggie May

I have now finished my radiation treatment and I am enjoying my first day of freedom from not having to go every day to Oncology.

I've been warned that I might not feel well for up to a month. I must just do what I feel I can but take it easy.

That sounds good to me.

There is sunshine and warmth and a pretty garden to sit in and many books to read.

If only there weren't so many spiders about.

They are everywhere right now and whatever I try to do outside, I seem to brush my face against a web.

Isn't that the most awful experience? Maybe you like that feeling?

Impressive Or What!

2011-09-22T19:00:00.006+01:00

At an open night at the girls' school, Sam and I took advantage of seeing their work.

Amber the oldest granddaughter, showed us a lovely description she had on the wall about her self. We were quite impressed except when we came to the sentence that said, There are two things I don't like. One is my sister and the other is olives.

I spent a good while telling her how mean that sounded and also did she just think of her sister as she would a vegetable. I suppose at least she put her sister before the olive.

Millie, my youngest granddaughter, said to me, "One of the boys in our class did a very loud, long fart when we had to be quiet."

Thinking of what kind of reaction that would have caused in my rather stern schooling, I asked what happened next.

The teacher just remarked,"That was very impressive, Tommy"

I loved that answer. We would have had a very stern dressing down about manners, when I was young. Things are so much better today.

We are all trying so hard not to be too excited about a house that my son and granddaughters have put in an offer for. It is very close to where I live and someone has put in an offer for Sam's house, which is just out of Bristol and it is such a bother to get the children to school and see all their friends, not forgetting visiting Granddad and me. The deal is all in the hands of the Estate Agents and Solicitors now and is subject to contract.

With a bit of luck, they will have moved in by December. Fingers crossed it will all work out. Otherwise there will be some very disappointed people about.

I am nearing the end of my radiation treatment now and am in pain at the moment with lesions and burns. I know they will go in a few weeks, but at the moment I am moaning like Hell.

Saturday Dilemma

2011-09-15T20:10:00.003+01:00

Photo Copyright: Maggie May

First of all I would like to apologise to those people who couldn't leave a comment on my last post because of a Blogger glitch. I only knew about it because they asked my brother to pass on a message about their difficulty.

I hope Blogger is working again now.

You might be wondering about the little owl photo on this post.

It was brought round by my friend and neighbour this afternoon.

At first I thought that it was a little bag or purse with a key ring on it. However, when I opened it up there was a strong nylon bag inside. That is ideal for unexpected shopping journeys. You know how easy it is to pop in for a small item and then go on to buy six. Then you notice you haven't sufficient room in your bag.

I am always doing that. Now I can clip this little owl onto my bag and never have to come home with a plastic bag again.

So I am well pleased. I do seem to have some lovely friends, don't I?

I hear some funny things while waiting in the hospital for my treatment to start.

Today I found myself sitting in a corridor with another lady while they prepared the two rooms for our radiotherapy.

The lady started telling me she'd just started having the treatment after a long session of chemo. I remarked that she was extremely lucky to have kept her hair.

She replied that it was a wig.

I was truly amazed because I can usually tell when some one is wearing a wig and this one even seemed to be mottled with grey. Very natural looking.

Anyway, she went on to inform me that while she had been having chemotherapy, another lady had asked her if it was her own hair or a wig and when she answered that it was a wig, the older lady asked if she could borrow it for the weekend while she went to a wedding because it looked so natural.

What a cheek. It would be as bad as someone asking to borrow a set of teeth or a false limb. Just a bit too personal.

We both had a chuckle about that.

It was my oldest granddaughter's 9th Birthday this week. I can hardly believe that she only came to this country five years ago after living in Japan from birth. She has done extremely well with all her English subjects.

However, she is feeling a bit sorry for herself at the moment as she is being taken by her mother to another city every Saturday to a Japanese school for the whole day.

It is the only way that both children can even attempt to keep up with their appropriate school year with reading and writing in Japanese.

The positive thing will be that both children will be fluent in both languages when they become adults and most likely will end up with good jobs because of this.

The downside is that they are doing a six day school week when everyone else is only doing five and they will miss parties with their friends and outings with their dad.

I can remember when I was only twelve and my teeth were overcrowded and my dentist wanted to make more room for them by extracting four good teeth. My mother left me with the choice and I obviously chose not to have the surgery.

I later told my mother that I wished she had made me have it done as my teeth grew crooked.

This seems to be a similar case with the girls and their Saturday school.

They might be glad of the extra tuition on a Saturday if they end up with good jobs as bilingual English/Japanese speakers.

What do others think about this?

Is it good or bad to cram children's schooling with an extra day?

Flare-ups

2011-09-09T09:00:00.005+01:00

Photo Copyright: Maggie May

I expect that you are all wondering what it is like to go through radiation treatment.

I can honestly say that it is not as bad as chemo...... not by a long chalk.

However, when I went through chemo, I was ill for a week or so and then started to pick up each day until the next infusion.

Going everyday for radiation treatment might not be as harsh as that but it can make one feel extremely tired all the time and can cause flare-ups of pain.

As my coccyx is involved, it can get really painful. Bone pain can be excruciating so I am still on some meds for it but trying to cut down regularly depending how I feel.

The department I go to is very busy and people of all ages come here from miles around. I'm lucky that I don't have far to go.

The saddest thing is to see little children going through chemo and there are also many younger people than me and a good few are brought in on trollies. This all makes me feel I shouldn't be grumbling.

One day my appointment was cancelled because one of the machines broke down. I have been assured that I will get an extra session at the end of my treatment so there are no problems concerning that.

No one has any idea what is going on in my body. I have been told to concentrate on getting through the treatment and live for the day.

Nothing about my life is certain. I could make myself ill with worry. However, most of the time I am too tired to think too hard or go beyond today.

I do a little job or two each day. Sometimes I can only manage to clean one shelf of the fridge. Other days I romp through the house or go for a walk with no problem. There is no rhyme or reason for this...... no way I can tell in advance how I am going to be. I tend not to make any really important arrangements because I might not be able to keep them.

I am drifting through life and trying not to care.

However, I am glad to be alive.

The sunflowers were brought round by Hetty, a good friend. They lasted a long time.

They were bright and cheerful in my front room.

I am over halfway through the treatment now and hoping non of the terrible side affects (that I had to sign a disclaimer for) will happen to me.

By the end of this month I should have finished the treatment but it will go on working for a month after that. I could feel tired during that month too. Not sure what state I will be in by then. Only time will tell.

I feel I have lost my summer and am dreading the winter weather coming round so soon.

Jurassic Park

2011-09-04T12:13:00.001+01:00

Photos Copyright: Maggie May

"Do you want to come with us to Jurassic Park?" Asked Amber, my oldest granddaughter.

Thinking I might need a safari outfit and a machete, I wondered if my energy levels were up to it, but I thought I might regret it if I turned the opportunity of an exciting excursion.

I had never been there before, but I'd heard about the good times that Amber and Millie had had on their frequent visits to this park.

So I hobbled into Sam's car and off we went.

Granddad definitely wasn't up to going. He is struggling a bit with his chemo and needs to rest as much as possible.

I am glad this creature was only carved out of wood. It rather surprised me by its sudden appearance and looked as though it was about to pounce out of a pit.

The lion and the crocodile that were lurking in the undergrowth too.

This park is pleasantly situated in South Gloucestershire and it is a very pleasant way to spend a Sunday afternoon. As well as the animals, there were swings and balancing frames ...

...high wire rides and a sandpit, as well as a rope bridge to scramble across.

However, I was very glad to be able to sit and watch everything from the comfort of a good park bench and as usual, I was pleased that I had my camera handy.

Yes....... I was very pleased that I had ventured out to Jurassic park.

Seeing Double

2011-08-30T09:57:00.007+01:00

Photo Copyright: Maggie May

Last week, I had a very pleasant surprise.

Harry was on his way back from a bit of shopping and he noticed something sticking out from behind our bin in the front garden.

It was a package from across the pond.

I had been expecting it, and couldn't understand why the postman had left it outside when we were all in the house. Luckily it was not raining.

This beautiful painting from one of my blogging pals, who happens to be an artist..... was taken with my permission from a photo I put in an earlier post.

I am talking about Clare Dunn.

At the time that I received the package, I had all my family here, daughter and grandsons, son and granddaughters and they all thought the painting is extremely good and sooner or later I will get a little frame and hang it in a very special place.

I am over joyed to receive such a lovely piece of work and very much appreciate this kindness and generosity.

I would be interested to hear what colour frame/border you think would be best?

The Gift Voucher

2011-08-25T09:08:00.012+01:00

Photo Copyright: Maggie May

When I was forced to give up work last month, through ill health, the team at the After School Club gave me a gift voucher that could be used at any Garden Centre. I can remember at the time I received it (very ungratefully, looking back) thinking that I wished I had the stamina and the energy to even do gardening.

However, on one of my daughter's recent visits, she took me to a very large garden centre that I seldom get to, these days.

It was one of those garden centres that sells many other things....... crafts, books, gadgets to name but a few, as well as thousands of indoor and outdoor plants and things to do with gardening. There were also small pets, but although I enjoyed looking at all the rabbits and equipment, I left that department hurriedly.

I decided on a gadget to help people to be able to weed and do gardening on their knees. There are huge handles on the sides of this low stool so that I can lever myself up. It means I can now get up without great discomfort.

If its turned the other way, it is a sturdy garden seat.

And when it is not being used at all, it folds down flat.

This little stool has given me a new lease of life.

I have also used it to do things like washing the kitchen/ bathroom floor.

It seems to have been the perfect gift, so I am really grateful to the after School Club.

Overheard Conversations

2011-08-19T13:42:00.007+01:00

Photo copyright: Maggie May

I can't believe that another week has gone by so quickly.

I have caught the bus to oncology at various times of the day, all this week and my treatment seems to have gone well. I am feeling alright.

I could catch the hospital bus if I wanted, from the city shopping centre. They seem to run every 30 minutes or so and stop at all the major hospitals. However, so far, I have felt the need to walk the short distance to oncology from the main shopping centre and again on the return journey. It is the only exercise I seem to be getting these days, so I feel it must do me good.

While on the bus, I have overheard some strange conversations.

One man who obviously had some degree of learning disability, plonked himself down in the seat behind me, next to another man and immediately struck up a conversation with him.

He asked the stranger if he'd ever been abroad and he replied he'd been to Spain. This was met by a very excited response and the conversation got louder and louder and he wanted to know what food they ate in Spain and what the driving was like etc. The other man was very patient with him and must have known that the whole bus was hanging onto his every word.

"Are you going again?" he asked the man.

"Yes in September," was the reply.

The excited man then asked for how long and the long suffering man answered "One week."

"Only for one week?" Replied the excited man, "Whats the matter with you, couldn't you afford more than that?"

Unfortunately, I had to get off then and I was wondering what the reply would have been. I'm sure he'd have been very polite and had a very good reply.

Another journey going into town, nearly brought tears into my eyes and I wish I'd have had the nerve to say something.

I noticed a very rough and ready grandmother who was sitting next to a little girl who must have been about 4 yrs old. They were sitting directly in front of me

Her granddaughter was repeating a word over and over again. I think it was *Anyway.* She wasn't shouting the word but it was obviously getting the grandmother down. She put a fist to the little girl's chin and said in a very gruff and menacing voice, "Will you just shut up and stop saying that word." She then went on to say the word over and over again in a very sarcastic and mimicking kind of way.

"Now you know what it sounds like. Just shut up."

I couldn't believe it when the man who was sitting next to me, started to poke her through the seat and also tell her to shut up and listen to Nan.

She turned round and said, "Don't Daddy." She was doing her best not to cry.

I made a point of moving after that. I hope they realised why, though I doubt it.

What rotten luck to have two grown ups looking after her who were behaving in such a barbaric way. Her father and her grand mother.

It is the end of the week now and I probably won't be getting into another bus until Monday.

You might be wondering why I chose a wet ornamental grass to illustrate this post.

Well, in truth....... I have no idea.

Not sure if there could be any psychological reason.

Any guesses?

Chicken and Flowers

2011-08-15T10:50:00.007+01:00

Photo Copyright: Maggie May

Last week I went for the first two of my 30 sessions of radiotherapy.

I didn't really know what to expect but it seems that I just have to lie very still on my stomach, after being lined up by humans .... then the machine takes over. It moves over my head and turns round and sometimes it seems dark and sometimes not. I have no idea what is going on, and can only hear the different noises that the machine makes as it goes its own way. Nothing hurts and there is no feeling when this beam of radiation is being shot into precise parts of my body. As long as I keep still all is well. If I need them to stop, then I can raise my hand and then they will interrupt the cycle. There is someone watching me all the time and obviously someone must be in control of the machine, behind the glass screen.

Before the first session, I waited half an hour in the waiting room, but last time I was kept waiting a good deal longer than that, so it does take a chunk out of the day and its best to take a book.

The department is 2 stories down in the basement so there is no daylight coming in or fresh air and whatever they use instead of this, makes me very sleepy.

When I came home from the very first session, my husband told me that I'd had flowers delivered by hand while I was away.

I had no idea who they could have been from until I opened the little card. It was from Denise Nesbitt. Some time ago, before I knew about my tumour on the coccyx........ Denise told me that one of her chickens was leaving home and heading for Bristol and could she stay with me?

I had no idea why she'd want to leave the beautiful countryside where she'd been living........ but was very pleased to receive Chicken Nesbit into my home. You can catch up with her arrival, HERE.

Chicken Nesbitt has been looking out of my dining room window since then. Occasionally she falls down onto the netting on the rabbit run and I have to untangle her feet.

Anyway...... she seemed to sense that the flowers were from Denise and her other chickens and she had to go and have a look and sniff them!

They are beautiful flowers, Denise, and I was truly overwhelmed by your kindness.

Thank you so much.

Just proves that blogging friends, however virtual they may seem to be, can be really supportive and kind and break through the ether, occasionally.

I have had another visit from my daughter and grandsons over the weekend, which was really lovely. I don't usually see them as often as this because they live nearly 200 miles away. I must have really scared my daughter when she came two weeks ago and I was in such pain. However, she can see that things have really improved since she was last here and that must have been a relief.

As it was the Balloon Fiesta in Bristol and the weather was not that brilliant, we didn't think that we stood much chance of seeing many hot air balloons over this way. However, on several occasions we looked into the sky from our road and saw great clusters of them floating slowly in the distance and we could hear the burners as they boosted their height. Radio Bristol announced that 62 took off together.

It was naturally on our local television news and we were dismayed to see that one unfortunate lady who was sleeping in her bedroom at the time, heard a noise like an explosion and found that a balloon had crashed into the side of her house. No one was hurt and you can read about it and see the picture here.

I wonder what this week will bring?

The First of Many

2011-08-10T12:44:00.006+01:00

Photo Copyright: Maggie May

A dear blogging friend has just disclosed that she's faced lots of tests, surgery and hospital visits and she never mentioned it to anybody because she felt that every one would think that she was always moaning about illness.

That left all her followers and blogging friends wondering why she'd disappeared from Blogland for so long.

I personally would prefer that people told me about their experiences of ill health rather than leave me wondering what has happened.

However, I hope that whoever reads my blog does not think that all I can talk about is illness.

I have tried to write about things that are really happening in my life, whatever that might be and if ill health comes into it then please accept it as a phase that most probably will pass to something better. I just feel that I have to be true to myself and everything that is happening right now.

Yesterday, I had to go to Oncology to have my *dummy run* through the radiation scanner (or whatever the real name is for that procedure,)

There was I, lying face down on a really hard surface with my head balanced on my arms and my bare bottom exposed to all who wished to see it and I can assure you that its not a pretty sight.

As luck would have it, the machine went wrong, so an engineer had to be called and he came pretty quickly to the scene. I expect he had seen some funny sights during his working day and my bottom could now be added to his list.

By then I was getting an itchy nose and really wanted to scratch it but I'd been told to stay still and not move and this took quite a lot of my will power.

The engineer fixed the machine and I then had to continue with lying still for what must have been half an hour and my nose was getting itchier by the moment. I wonder why these itches happen when it is not at all convenient. I'm sure I'm not scratching my nose all day long

I had more tattoos put on my hips for future guidance and by the time I was told I could get up, my hands were numb and my wrists were aching through the effort of lying in one position for so long.

Tomorrow is the *real thing* when the radiation starts to attack the beast on my coccyx.

I will be having a daily visit to this hospital, apart from weekends, for the next six weeks.

I feel now that the challenge is beginning.

My pain is being very well managed too. This makes me feel that all the down times do eventually come to an end with better times following.

I am ashamed to see on our news that young English thugs are smashing up their own country. It seems they are making a statement about their poor lifestyle. Some of them seem too young to be out at that time of night. Don't their parents care?

I feel that there is no excuse for the terrible things that have been happening.

They say they have nothing and thats the only way they can draw attention to themselves but we had very little and were born in a war when there wasn't even enough to eat. Our generation didn't act like that. People helped each other out and respected other people and their property. We respected the law and seemed to have a conscience. I wouldn't like to go back to the days of corporal punishment, children being put into Police cells and hanging...... but have we gone too much the other way and brought up a couple of generations who feel that the world owes them everything and that anything is theirs for the taking?

I really am ashamed to be English right now. I know that there are many people who are good and behave decently. The vast majority are like that. However, what good can come out of smashing up other peoples' homes and businesses? Isn't that just going to bring the country down to a much lower state than it is already in?

It is The Bristol Balloon Fiesta this weekend. I hope the weather conditions will enable us to see hundreds of them flying over our homes. So far it is windy....... maybe too windy but anything can happen by then.

Personalised Pain

2011-08-04T15:15:00.001+01:00

Photo Copyright: Maggie May

How could anyone ever describe pain? It is even harder to imagine someone else's pain. It is a personal experience and surely everyones' experience of it must be different. There are different types of pain. Niggling pain, nagging pain, hot, searing pain, stabbing pain, dull, aching pain, cramping pain....... the list is endless.

My pain over the last few weeks has been almost unmentionable and almost unbearable. I put much of it down to arthritis and sciatica and ageing aches and pains. However, it soon became apparent that that there was something very bad going on as well as these other things.

Imagine having a knife rammed somewhere where the sun don't shine! Yes...... not nice. On the right side of the knife the blade is jagged and catches with every movement. A pain that makes you feel that you are being tortured nonstop.

This was the only way I could describe the pain that was coming from the tumour on the coccyx (tail bone.) There isn't much room down there anyway. Imagine having to go to the toilet and the pain that that caused me.

If you find this imaginary exercise too unsavoury, then I'm sorry but that is the only way I could describe it.

I was dreading my daughter coming to see me in this state, let alone my grandsons.

However, by the time they arrived, a few days ago, they found me rolling about like a wild animal and yelping, moaning and pleading for help.

My husband and son and my granddaughters were looking on in horror and every one thought I was not going to be here too long.

I have been backwards and forwards to different departments of different hospitals for a few weeks now and all I knew was, that I had to wait until August 11th for my radiation details to be calculated and put into the machine. This is a very delicate operation and cannot be rushed. If mistakes are made with this treatment then it couldn't be rectified later. I knew this and understood it. Every day seemed like a week, though and I was becoming convinced that I wasn't going to make it long enough to get my radiation. It seemed too far away and I knew I couldn't hang on with this pain much longer.

How much pain could anyone bear?

My daughter knew that there were certain drugs intended for the treatment of particular conditions that could beat this type of pain. It had been found out by accident over the years, so she rang up the Macmillan nurses to ask about it.

They got in touch with St Peter's Hospice which is an organisation that most people know to be a charity who help people with painful, life threatening diseases and they have charity shops all over England to support all their good work. They have hospices, where cancer patients can go for respite care and stressed relatives can receive advice and support, too. One of the great things about these nurses is that they have expert knowledge of drugs that can help people stifle the symptoms of cancer. Lets face it...... once we know we have this illness and have got the necessary treatment, we don't need to keep having to experience the pain dragging on and on relentlessly and dripping like a constant tap. Eventually pain can consume all our thinking and feeling and engulf our whole personality so that we have no energy left for anything else.

It was because of the precise description of my pain, that the nurse who came to visit me in my own home, was able to immediately recommend a very low dose of a drug for depression. The wonder drug for me turned out to be Amitriptyline. This drug can affect the messages of nerves to and from the brain to certain sites in the body that produce pain.

My doctor was asked to write out a prescription for 10mg. to be taken every night. This tiny tablet that leaves my mouth feeling like its full of cotton wool every morning, has given me a good nights sleep for the three nights that I've been taking it and I have managed to cut down on many other of my pain killers, including morphine, which I was really scared about taking.

If this hadn't worked, they were going to try a drug that prevents epilepsy. Apparently this drug can cut out this kind of pain message to the brain too.

Isn't it marvellous what these drugs can do? I haven't much patience with people who would love to go back to the *good old days*. They wouldn't have been very good for me.

It must be because of other peoples' pain that doctors found out by trial and error that sometimes the most unlikely drug could help with other types of conditions. So maybe my horrible description of my type of pain might help someone else in the future to get help.

Please, if you know anyone battling with severe pain, ask them to get some kind of advice from a specialist in pain relief and ask if they could try some of these unlikely drugs.

Ordinary GPs do not know enough about this complicated pain relief. Out of three of my doctors, only one told me this drug might help and one said it definitely would not.

I can now move forward and am within sight of my radiation date and know it is going to really happen now and in the meantime, my quality of life has improved tremendously.

We must always get a second opinion and I cannot ever thank my daughter enough for urging me to try this drug and for leaving a desperate message on their answer phone.

Things Keep Springing Up

2011-07-28T11:11:00.005+01:00

Photos Copyright:Maggie May

Things have been sadly neglected in my garden recently because of my ill-health. However, when I went to put some clothes on the rotary line this morning, I noticed these succulents that have burst into flower. They are quite remarkable little plants that seem to thrive on neglect and little water. What more could you ask of any plant, really?

Another plant that seems to do well and spread almost to the point of being classed as a weed, is the Japanese Anemone. Year after year they unfurl their flowers, when everything else is coming to an end.

Faithful friends indeed.

I am in a state of waiting. Since I gave up work, every day seems to merge into another and every one seems the same as any other. My life seems to lack structure. I have a little gap in my hospital appointments now and have to wait until the 11th August for my radiation treatment to start.

Then I will be visiting oncology every day for six weeks barring the weekend. I expect that will seem like an ordeal but at least I won't be in this state of limbo. I will be doing something positive to help my self and probably having a little grumble as I go along. I don't expect it will be a bed of roses.

Gorillas Storm our City

2011-07-22T14:27:00.010+01:00

Photos Copyright: Maggie May

Come to Bristol at your own risk! There are gorillas everywhere.

Sixty gorillas were painted, decorated and placed in strategic locations all over the city of Bristol.

They will be auctioned later and the money will be used to help gorillas in the wild.

This is Irene, who has been named after The Bristol Rovers. Their theme is the song, *Irene Goodnight.*

This is a smaller model that I came across while shopping. I think it is a pretty design.

It is quite a popular pastime for children and adults alike to travel the city looking for the different designs.

If you'd like to see all of them, then you can have a look here.

One of the gorillas was vandalised recently and unfortunately he was burnt beyond recognition. It was the one with the British flag.

A horrible thing to do and an act that really upset many people in our city and most children are very upset about it. My own grandchildren like to go round the city and have their photos taken whenever they see one a new one.

Concerning my last post...... I have now been to the radiology department to be measured up for the treatment that will start on the 11th August. I have a little tattooed dot on my back and have had all my details put in a scanner in order to eventually fire the radiation into the right places. This apparently takes time and that is why I have to wait another two weeks for it to be processed.

I asked the tattooist if she could put a little animal on my back instead of the dot. It didn't get me very far.

I have seen someone about my pain and am now slotted into a Pain Clinic. It might take a while to find the exact thing to help me while I wait. However all these things have side affects some of which are nasty.

I dare say I will find the right combination before too long. I will let you know.

The Battle Goes On

2011-07-15T09:29:00.007+01:00

Photo Copyright: Maggie May

Some things just go on from one year to the next without too much attention. My roses are like that, appearing faithfully every summer no matter what happens to them. If only humans were the same.

The last few weeks have been difficult for me as I haven't been really well. I have tended to throw myself into other things, like the singing...... to take my mind off my present situation.

Well, I have seen the top Consultant at Onchology and I have had the results of the CT scans and bone scan that I have recently undergone, and there is no doubt now that I have a tumour on the coccyx (tail bone.) This is excruciatingly painful and I am drugged up a bit to mask it.

Well..... what can be done? I was groaning inwardly about having to have more chemo.

However, I am now on a waiting list to start radiotherapy to try and blast this thing off the bone.

It seems that I will be starting treatment next month.

There are various side effects and other organs close by might be damaged, which might mean operations and minor disability if things go wrong.

I did feel rather depressed by all this, but as the Onchologist explained, if the chemo hadn't been as successful as it was, I would have had 4 months to live at the very outside. That was in December 2009, so I am one of the lucky ones, so I have been repeatedly told, to have survived this long, against statistical odds.

This is the first time that I have been told this bit of information and if I'd known this at the time I was having chemo, then I might not have had the will to pull through.

I have a good chance of a longer life after radiation treatment and I completely trust the Onchology team.

So I am mustering up my strength and courage and throwing myself into God's hands and hoping for the best. As far as I am concerned, the sooner I start treatment the better.

Singing For Water West

2011-07-11T11:06:00.001+01:00

Sing For Water West happened in Bristol this weekend. I had been working towards this event since I joined the choir earlier this year. Every week we practiced the songs we had been learning and listened to tapes while doing the mundane parts of housework such as ironing.

Choirs all over the west of England had also been practicing these same pieces and on Saturday, they were all brought in by coach from various towns and cities, to make up 1000 of us on the steps of the amphitheatre by the waterfront.

My health has not been too brilliant over the last few months and Harry, too has been having his chemo and is needing a lot more care. It has been difficult to make definite commitments to anyone about anything because we never seem to know just how we will be feeling or guarantee that we will be able to see any promised things through.

However, earlier this year, I made a commitment to learn these songs and I booked my place for the Big Sing and paid my deposit.

I have really enjoyed learning the songs and felt quite liberated after singing together with new found friends each week.

When I woke up on the Saturday of the Big Sing, I was rather dismayed to see that it was raining. We all were due to meet up for a rehearsal at 10 am that was to last 2 hours. I packed essential things in my back pack and dosed myself up with Paracetamol and just hoped that I was strong enough to do all that standing with a raging back/hip pain.

By the time I got off the bus to the appointed place, the rain was now very steady. I met up with people I knew and eventually got to chat to people from other towns, who I didn't know.

I was amazed that the two hour rehearsal went quicker than I had imagined and I really loved the feeling of a mass sing, even though the rain was still steady and some of the women in front of me insisted on putting up umbrellas which meant that I couldn't see the conductor properly and had to watch that my eye wasn't poked out.

By twelve o'clock, the practice was over and I decided to go to a quiet place and eat my sandwiches and have a rest from all that standing.

I found a covered shelter and enjoyed my lunch. I decided on a hot drink in a cafe next and met up with other singers I knew who were going on to do some busking to help raise money for the Water Charity.

I'd never done anything like that in all my (nearly seventy years) but I suddenly thought, YES! I could do it.

So although I didn't know the songs well because they were different from the Water pieces, I think I managed to bluff my way through because there were people there who knew the pieces well. Busking involved more standing but I was really enjoying doing this by now.

Eventually it was 3pm and time to assemble for the grand entry of the Big Sing which meant more standing.

However, a little miracle happened..... well a big miracle really...... the skies were by now, blue and the weather was warm. I took out the sunhat that I'd optimistically packed. All of the singers had been asked to wear blues and greens to signify water. We were trying to raise money for the needy people of other countries who die every few minutes because of lack of water or through drinking dirty water. There we were with wet things all rolled up in our back packs because we get too much over here..... but that's the way it is on this Earth.... all or nothing.

Bristol people turned out in force to come and watch and support us.

After filing in to our appointed places, we started to sing for 45 minutes. We were not allowed to use our sheet music but we had learned it all by memory and some of the pieces were in other languages, which is not easy to learn at my age.

Singing en masse like this, made me feel tremendously good and everything seemed suddenly to be very worth the effort of standing in the rain. I felt part of the *big picture* in life and this brought me out in goose bumps of pleasure.

Whatever should happen to me health wise, from now on...... nothing could take this feeling away from me. I had followed something through and it had been good.

Carnival Faces

2011-07-08T20:24:00.002+01:00

Photos Copyright: Maggie May

When I was at the carnival, which I told you about in the last post, every now and then the procession ended up grid locked while the ones in front negotiated turnings, narrow roads and crowds of people and every one could have a rest and group together for instruction and information.

I noticed some very lovely and interesting faces and took the opportunity to snap a few of them.

It was lovely to see the many different cultures and traditions that seemed to derive from the crowds and the procession.

It is one occasion when everyone seemed to get on well and be able to share.

There was some problem in a different area of Bristol..... but not here.

Carnival Time

2011-07-02T15:15:00.012+01:00

Photos Copyright: Maggie May

Bristol sometimes has a bad press in the media and all sorts of things seem to crop up from time to time, leaving people thinking its not a safe place to live in.

I personally think it is a great place and it is always good to show off our city, which is what I do whenever possible.

One of the things that Bristol is good at, is the yearly Carnival at St. Paul's.

This year I decided to go and see the parade of dancers, drummers and displays. I went on my own..... just one person out of many thousands, because this occasion draws people in from all over the place.

When I arrived in this vibrant area, where many diverse ethnic people live and every year come onto the streets to celebrate, I found a low wall to sit on and waited for things to happen.

There were barbecues all along the streets and some of the dishes I could smell were jerk flavoured goat and rice, which I resisted, being a vegetarian. However it did smell good.

The Carnival would go on all weekend and there would be bands going on all night. However, not for this grannie.

I pushed myself forward to take photos .

Sometimes it seemed as though the skull guided itself.......

.......and I had to search for the person inside the display.

Fortunately, it was not too hot or too cold, which was just as well because the dancers had to carry on for 3 hours.

The parade took one and a half hours to pass me by.

There were so many children in the parade and many of the local schools were represented.

I think everyone enjoyed it. I definitely did. If you happened to be there and saw a little grannie sitting on a wall.... then it was me!

Ever Had A Bad Day?

2011-06-27T17:46:00.000+01:00

Photos Copyright: Maggie May

Ever had a bad day from beginning to end?

I woke up with excruciating sciatica. Well, that is an understatement because I've been battling with it for weeks but this particular day I felt I just wanted to sit and cry with the pain. It is a problem that keeps recurring and has done since I was in my late forties.

Harry is just starting chemo 3 and isn't very well right now, though he has been doing fine since the strength of the treatment was reduced last time.

The area I chose to do my shopping in that day seemed to have a great problem. I realised that the roads were blocked off and buses had ground to a halt. Passengers had to get off and walk and eventually the vehicles had to go a different way through some really tricky side roads and narrow streets full of parked cars.

There was a terrible smell of acrid smoke and fire engines all over this (usually) very busy road. Pedestrians were eventually stopped and I turned into a little lane, up a hill and suddenly saw the shop....... or rather what was left of it. People witnessing everything, told me there had been several explosions, as the shop had been a nail bar and had chemicals stored there. Luckily no one got hurt but the flat above was gutted as well as the shop.

I felt a bit of an unsavoury character taking photos but lots of other people were doing so too. I do carry my camera at all times and am always ready to snap unusual things but of course this was tragic for the people involved, losing property and possessions. However, when it comes down to it, no lives were lost and it could have been so much worse.

Some hours later, I went back a second time and the fire engines were still there but this time pedestrians were allowed to walk to the other side of the road. Still there were no other vehicles allowed....... only Police and fire engines and crew. There was a car next to the nail bar that had partly melted with the heat.

When I eventually got home....... a phone call that I answered made things so much worse. My friend, who had been in hospital for several weeks had died that morning. She wasn't expected to die as she'd got over the worst. She'd even talked about coming home in a few weeks last time I phoned her. I'm so glad that I did phone her when I did a few weeks ago, little realising it would be the last time I would ever hear her voice.

Exploiting A Child's Work?

2011-06-23T18:47:00.005+01:00

Photo Copyright: Maggie May

Lat weekend, my daughter and two grandsons came from the east coast to stay for a couple of nights.

When they arrived here, Dean the youngest, was quite excited because that very morning he had received a letter to say that he had won a competition for writing a mini saga. His entry had been chosen for a book which was being printed along with others from all over the country.

My daughter was offered the book for the cost £15.99.

Although it seemed rather expensive, the fact that Dean's work had been chosen, made it all seem worth it and a cheque was sent while they were here.

It wasn't until Dean returned to school, that he discovered that everyone in his class had had work chosen too. In fact, practically all the class were going to be in the book. The piece of writing was 50 words long and the book was illustrated as being quite thick. How much money is this firm making? They cannot lose really. They use the child's work and they have to hand over copyright and then they make you pay for the book.

The deceitful part of the whole thing is that they get the school to send in the entries and then they send each child a letter to their own home and let that child think that their work is exceptional, when all the time the whole class has been chosen.

I am annoyed with the school too, for falling for this. I hope my daughter will make a fuss.

The cheque had already been cashed when she found all this out and I have no idea if there even is a book and even if there is... it would never have been ordered if she'd known that the whole class have received this fabulous offer too.

Would other people be annoyed about this, or am I being unreasonable?

On top of that disappointment, my oldest grandson, Rick, who is autistic, gave the money to the driver on his school bus today but didn't get a ticket. He was then asked to pay again and as Rick is painfully shy and didn't feel he could challenge the driver, he felt pressurised to pay again and came home in tears.

My daughter is overwhelmed by all this and was close to tears too.

What is the World coming to?

Moth Mystery

2011-06-19T18:23:00.003+01:00

Photos Copyright: Maggie May

I was out in the garden hanging out the laundry when something caught my eye.

A beautiful butterfly. I rushed indoors to get my camera but not really expecting it to be there when I returned.

Luck was on my side. It wasn't going anywhere fast.

I zoomed in.

I'm no expert but I knew it was not a butterfly, but a moth.

What kind, I do not know. I am relying on somebody being able to solve this mystery.

While I had the camera in my hand, I decided to snap any flora that was in flower.

The California Poppy always does well in my garden and sometimes grows so prolifically that it could almost be classed as a weed. It does have a pretty flower though.

This little flower is shyly peeping out from behind some ferns. I thought I had lost all the plants in my garden.

It is the bi-ennial Lychnis Coronaria, with it's silver leaves and carmine flowers. Always one of my favourites, so I am extremely pleased to see it back in my garden.

My two unnamed Clematis are really doing well this year.

I think in our garden anyway, it has to be the plant of the year. (So far.)

I am now looking forward to hearing what kind of moth visited my garden?

Blossoming

2011-06-14T16:19:00.006+01:00

Photo Copyright: Maggie May

Sometimes parents can stay together even though the relationship has finished...... just for the sake of the children.

This might seem to be the best thing for everyone....... but is it?

Recently, my oldest granddaughter seems as though she has had a weight lifted from her shoulders. You can see it in her face and manner.

The reason why?

Because her Mum, who has been divorced from her daddy for a long time, has recently moved out and found her own place nearby.

The girls have been staying with her for for a night or two and regularly go for tea after being picked up from school.

They spend two nights with me when I baby sit them, and the rest of the week is spent with their dad.

This way they have a really good time with everyone.

At one point, it seemed my heart was ripped open when my oldest granddaughter said, "There was such a big quarrel going on last night and I just had to try and block it out."

Although both the girls have always seemed to be well adjusted children, I think this situation did seem to be causing a strain on both of them without anyone realising it. It is only now that the difference can be seen and it is a pleasure to see the release of a burden that has suddenly slid off their shoulders. They seem to be both blossoming into happier children.

Trying to keep positive about the situation when they first had to cope with it, I said, " Aren't you lucky that you have three homes where you are loved! Mummy's home to visit, Daddy's and mine."

It wasn't long before they realised that they had four homes because there is always going to be one in Japan with the other Grandparents.

So they did brighten up when they realised this because I don't suppose that many other children have so many different homes.

Unless you know of some that do.

A Brave Spirit

2011-06-09T20:26:00.001+01:00

Photos Copyright: Maggie May

My friend, Squirrel, who is far from well and is often so ill that she cannot leave her bed, had two rabbits and two guinea pigs. I thought the world of the rabbits but I'm a bit allergic to guinea pigs so I don't cuddle them, as my eyes itch and I get snuffly.

The Rex variety of rabbit is much larger than my two dwarf ones and they have fur that feels just like velvet. It is a superb breed.

On my last visit, Squirrel had only recently had Warren vaccinated and had contemplated having him neutered. He really was quite a character. Not the type to be picked up but having the run of the house and the small back yard, he did choose to come and sniff my ankles from time to time but was a very independent rabbit...... only choosing to do what he wanted to do.

He was a brave and fearless rabbit and he chased the local cats away.

His eyes were brownish black and not a bit like the redeye in the photo.

Some how or other, Squirrel recently acquired another rabbit. A dear little doe called Dusty, who was the same breed of rabbit but a different colour. More like chocolate.

Dusty, by comparison turned out to be so loveable and wanted to be hugged and nursed for ever.

I truly fell in love with her.

She just knew that the dashing, handsome Warren was a really desirable fellow and though she was too young to be let loose with him ........ flirted madly through the bars and of course, he was extremely interested in her.

Not long after this visit, Squirrel decided that she couldn't face having Warren neutered as she thought it would change his personality and she loved him just as he was. She didn't want to spoil that brave, inquisitive spirit. She decided that she'd keep them apart until Dusty was old enough to be spayed.

However, the inevitable happened........ and some how or other the cage was left open and Squirrel found them doing what rabbits seem to do quite easily.

I think you could say that he had had his evil way with her.

One evening not long after this incident, both rabbits had been tucked up in their two separate hutches on the yard outside for the night.

There is a communal walkway at the end of the yard but Squirrel had put wire fencing up to stop intruders getting near to their hutches.

However by morning, Squirrel's world had been turned upside down when she found the fencing had been torn down and Warren's cage ripped open.

Dusty and the guinea pigs were still safely in their hutch nearer the house.

It was later, that Squirrel was told by neighbours that around six in the morning, a man with a Jack Russell Terrier had walked past the fenced in rabbits and the dog had gone beserk. Before the man could stop him, he had broken into Warren's hutch and grasped him in his mouth, swinging him like a rag doll.

The man fell into the fencing and broke it while he grappled with his dog and he eventually managed to get Warren, who was still alive, out of his mouth and he put the rabbit back into his broken hutch to recover. The rabbit later pushed the door open and went out for what proved to be his last walk.

According to a neighbour, that brave rabbit was then finished off in a nearby park and carried away to be eaten by a fox. He had finally met his match.

We were all devastated to hear this and it has knocked Squirrel's health back quite a bit and now we are desperately hoping that Dusty will have kits. Then a little bit of Warren will live on.

The Bristol Aquarium

2011-06-03T11:55:00.007+01:00

Photos Copyright: Maggie May

As it was half term in Bristol this week, I decided to take my granddaughters some where really special. I know that Amber had already hinted to me before, that she'd like to go to the Bristol Aquarium by the harbour. Millie had already been with the school previously and had said that she enjoyed it.

I decided to keep the visit secret and asked their dad to bring packed lunches when he brought them round.

We set off on the bus and Amber asked, "Is it a quality outing?"

I replied that I thought it was and I assumed that a *no quality outing* would mean a picnic in a park or something, which they used to like but are now getting a bit bored with.

When we got off the bus at the city Centre and started to walk towards Millennium Square, Amber's face brightened and she appeared to be really pleased with where we were going and said she'd hoped it would be the Aquarium.

We entered the darkened corridors that twisted and turned and looked at the colourful tanks of fish.

There was a large octopus hiding in one of the tanks...... not very photo friendly one as I just couldn't get a snap of him. I have never been up close to one before though, so I was intrigued to watch it.

In another tank were some slimy giant eels of an enormous size. They got fed while we were watching them and gobbled the fish straight down. They moved too fast for a photo but were fascinating to watch.

I enjoyed the sea horses and and the beautiful coral reef which was a living wall, opening and shutting all the time.

The entrance fee also entitled us to see some 3D films in the Imax theatre, which we enjoyed and there were plenty of tables and chairs where we could sit and eat our sandwiches later.

Being a bit older, Amber doesn't go galloping through to the next thing as quickly as she used to do and both children do stop to look at things for longer. Amber had to say to Millie a few times though, "Lets make the most out of everything and not rush through." I was pleased about that as I like to savour everything at a slower pace.

The corridor opened out into a large room and in the centre of it was a huge tank with many different sea fish and living coral. Very beautiful to see.

We had already walked through glass tunnels at the bottom, seeing fish on different levels.

This tank was extremely deep by the time we got level with the open top that had just a fence round it. In the picture at the bottom, you can see lifebelts.

Thankfully nobody fell it while we were there!

We all had a really good day out and were tired out by the time we got home.

Yes, a successful outing.

Is It Winter Again?

2011-05-29T19:54:00.008+01:00

Photos Copyright: Maggie May

The Clematis is probably the predominant flowering plant in my garden right now. It is one of my favourite plants.

The weather is quite cold and wet at the moment and the Bank Holiday was spoilt because of it. However, I enjoyed the break as I had all my family around me for the weekend and Harry had perked up no end following his last trauma with chemo.

Towards the end of this week, Harry starts his second treatment. I really hope that he won't be as badly affected as last time. The doctor said that she would cut down the dosage slightly to see if that will help.

Dare I say that Blogger seems to have settled down?

Last week it was Rabbit Awareness Week. The purpose of that week was to try to get owners to be aware of a rabbits needs.

Apparently, many bunnies are still kept alone in a small hutch at the bottom of the garden with no one bothering with them and nothing to keep them mentally stimulated. They end up being practically forgotten about, especially in rainy weather. There are many neglected and unhappy rabbits that were bought for a child who got fed up with their new *toy* and moved on to something else.

Rabbits are intelligent animals and need the company of their own kind. It is best to have a neutered male and a spayed female who usually get on well together. They need to exercise in a large run as well as having access to lots of hay, some daily vegetables and fruit and a hand-full of rabbit pellets and they need a selection of toys to play with and a little place to hide when they feel threatened.

They are not really suitable animals for small children and according to the Rabbit Welfare Association, an increasing number of adults are enjoying them as pets.

They can be kept indoors and can be potty trained as rabbits are very clean animals.

They wash themselves more than a cat does.

Lily likes to drag her towel around and she sits on it to sleep. She loves to be cuddled and if she is in the right frame of mind, she sits for a long time on my lap. She likes to play ball and tear up cardboard or paper in her run.

Ash is still a bit skittish, being a Netherland Dwarf, but he does often stay on my lap for a cuddle but needs to be securely held. He loves being stroked but will nip my sleeve if he wants to get down. He likes to throw his plastic dish around his run and tear up paper and cardboard boxes.

When they are happy, they jump around and do a little hop, skip and jump, referred to as a binky. They can take off vertically like a helicopter. A contented bunny will throw itself on the ground as though dead and stretch its little legs out behind it and fall asleep...... knowing it is secure.

There is nothing better than seeing a bonded pair exchanging glances and snuggling up. They appear to be sharing a secret and wash each others noses and ears constantly.

They are fairly high maintenance pets but I love mine to bits.

A Wasted Day

2011-05-27T15:21:00.005+01:00

Photo Copyright: Maggie May

Since I took the photo of the poppies in the picture below, which couldn't be more than two weeks ago, there has been quite a turn in the weather and we've had much cooler, windier days with intermittent rain.

The result of this has been even more poppy flowers opening.

Some strange things have been going on with Blogger recently. Though I'm not even sure if it is Bloggers fault.

You see today I tried to put my password into the account and it just kept repeating the request. *Put in Password*. After attempting it for a good while, and being told to do the same thing over and over again, I gave up and thought it was a Blogger fault.

After a whole day of not being able to comment or post, I was getting a bit fed up.

It occurred to my son that I should try my laptop and see if there was a similar problem there. I didn't have very high hopes of the laptop being any different but was really surprised that I was allowed to get to blog after putting in the password. No trouble at all.

My son understands quite a lot about computers but couldn't seem to understand what the problem could be. He tried using Firefox instead of Safari and found that the blog is fine using that. However the laptop is running on Safari and working fine.

As soon as we try to run the main computer on Safari, I cannot get the password to work.

Has anyone any idea what the problem could be?

We've already tried clearing the cache.

I am the kind of person that likes an answer to things....... even if I might not understand it. So thinking caps on please.

My Herb Garden

2011-05-23T08:56:00.004+01:00

Photo Copyright: Maggie May

As you all know, my garden is very small and I tend to cram in everything that I can, which gives it a cluttered look.

I have recently given up quite a chunk of patio in order to grow some herbs in pots.

It is good to add a few fresh herbs to a salad and I have several different varieties of parsley, coriander, sage, fennel, mint, rosemary and thyme.

Coriander is a lovely little herb that livens up a cheese sandwich. I'm sure it is meant to go into a curry though.

My rabbits love fennel and rosemary best.

What herbs are your favourites and what do you use them for?

My Birthday

2011-05-20T09:11:00.001+01:00

Photo Copyright: Maggie May

Since my last post I have had a Birthday. I am now 69.

When I was ill last year, having chemo and being told there was no cure for my cancer, I wasn't sure whether I would make this Birthday or not. However, it was my ambition to make 70 because the Bible tells us that we can expect to live for three score years and ten..... which in todays language..... is seventy! So that is obviously God's plan to live at least that long. I would feel cheated not getting my full quota.

Well now it seems as though it might very well come to pass. It appears to be within the scope of reality. Another year.

I will have to extend my ambition and add more years to it. Dare I say 75!

I have decided I am going to quit work at the end of the school year, which is in July. I did intend to work till I was 70 and then retire. I was one of the women who could have retired at 60. (It is not possible to do that now.) Therefore, I have worked nine years more than I needed to. I have been happy doing this and the money (although not a lot) was very useful.

I want to do other things now. Maybe join a painting class and/or creative writing.

On my Birthday, I got up early-ish, gave Harry breakfast in bed and took him up the pills he needs to counteract the side effects of his chemo.

I got Amber and Millie something to eat and did their hair. I fed the rabbits and changed them from sleeping quarters to their indoor play pen after giving them fairly long cuddles. It was then that I opened presents and cards. The girls seemed anxious that I opened the one that Sam had given me, first. It was really small in a tiny box. It turned out to be an iPod shuffle.

I knew it was something precious but wasn't sure what I had to do with it until Sam charged it up and told me he could download music on it for me to listen to whenever and wherever I wanted to.

Wow, that will come in handy for my choir practice pieces and I can now go around the house and garden while learning my parts.

My daughter sent me money for more fish foot massage. I am really looking forward to more of this.

I was pleased that Harry had felt up to going out to buy me a card from a nearby shop and had slipped in some money for me to get something. I will have a little think about what to buy.

I also received a variety of lovely cards.

I got myself something to eat and was still in my pyjamas when my friend, Audrey arrived. Never mind. We know each other well enough not to be embarrassed.

She was pleased to see that Harry had perked up no end and he is now able to walk about the house without too much fear of passing out. He has some really bad pain in both feet, though. It is amazing what chemo throws at you. Sometimes really strange symptoms.

Still, this first treatment will be a pattern for the next session. I am writing down all his symptoms, when they occur, in a little book for him to compare one months treatment with the next. This is what I did last year. It proved to be very useful.

Later on in the day, I went to my choir practice. I walked all the way which took about 30 minutes. I really love singing in this choir and am getting to know the other people and the songs better now.

I can lose myself and let go all my worries for two hours.

I walked back in twenty minutes as it is all down hill coming back.

By the time I returned, Sam had put my practice choir pieces for altos on my iPod and now I can go anywhere and do boring jobs while learning my part. Wow. That is good.

My daughter is coming over with Rick and Dean for the weekend. There are definitely happy times mixed in with the sad and I do count my blessings, which are many.

Sticking It Out

2011-05-17T10:12:00.007+01:00

Photo Copyright: Maggie May

Looking through my window, I noticed the poppies had opened. Yesterday they were in tight bud.

It is amazing what can happen in just one day even though the weather is not very warm or bright.

Harry is not taking to chemo very well, though he started off fine. He has already passed out on me twice today. Fortunately, my son was here at the time because I cannot lift him. He is too heavy and I suffer from disc problems.

Though I can get him into recovery position.

It isn't easy for me to watch him struggle with symptoms as I know what it is like. However, I do know that he should feel a bit better in a few days.

Some people sail through chemo....... but others struggle with it.

No one knows until it happens to them.

its a question of sticking it out and waiting for the bad things to pass.

Friday 13th

2011-05-14T09:02:00.007+01:00

Photo Copyright:Maggie May

First of all, I want to apologise to anyone who commented on my last post. I know I had at least sixteen comments that have now disappeared. Obviously, I cannot reply to you now, as I don't know who you were because I couldn't get into the blog to read them.

Blogger certainly had a major blip on Friday the thirteenth!

Just as well I am not the least superstitious.

However, it was not a good day for us as, apart from Blogger chewing up my latest post and preventing me from commenting on other people's posts, Harry started his first chemo session on that day and has obviously got to go through quite a lot of discomfort that is part and parcel of chemo therapy.

So far, he is doing well.

My brother, Eddie Bluelights from Clouds and Silvery Linings, wanted me to apologise that he hasn't got in touch with anyone because his phone line and broadband has been playing up. It will be a week before he gets fixed up with a new system. He also says he will be getting back to his Sunday Roast as soon as he can.

Looking forward to uneventful blogging days in the future though eventful blogging days are probably more fun.

The May Garden

2011-05-11T11:36:00.013+01:00

Photos copyright: Maggie May

When I introduced this Campanula from a tiny cutting that I placed into my stone dividing wall, many years ago, I can remember my father saying that I was mad because it would never take. I had taken the cutting from his garden and I don't think he ever lived long enough to see the result. It spread widely all around the patio and it does look striking at this time of the year.

White Aquilegia is another flower that spreads but I do like it.

This Foxglove sprang up unexpectedly as Foxgloves tend to do.

The Poppies are in bud and the Allium are pretty. Strange to think they are related to the onion family. Chives have pretty pink flowers too. I have a pot on my patio.

This is my favourite corner for sitting and watching the garden.

My birdbath developed a crack in it due to the frost last winter, so I have had to put a small container into it..... until I can think of some way of mending the hole (or buy a new bird bath.)

I love the colour of my Clematis.

This is the view from the window..... near to my favourite chair in the house.

Outside, there is a tub containing water Iris that has done very well.

After A Rainy Start....

2011-05-07T17:16:00.009+01:00

Photos Copyright: Maggie May

The day started off by pouring with rain. Why hadn't the Morris Dancers taken advantage of the hot sunny days when May began? We were having a drought and the weather was exceptionally hot then.

However, this was the day that was advertised to walk from the centre of Bristol to a Common several miles away.

Bristol is one of the few cities out of the whole of England that celebrates the beginning of the summer by parading the streets and dancing at regular intervals on the first Saturday following May Day.

This is called Jack of the Green. It is a tradition that goes back for years.

They are a group of people who dress in rag jackets and dance and play all sorts of instruments, dabbing a green blob on people's faces as they walk by.

This is usually received in good humour and everyone gets wished a Happy Summer because that is what the celebration is about.

They dance at regular intervals as well as popping into several pubs on their journey.

I made four of the rag jackets in the group, some of them while I was feeling quite poorly because of chemo.

Amber and Millie, my granddaughters managed to walk the full journey on this occasion. The wet weather hadn't lasted long and the sun came out and Granddad and I managed to meet up with the crowd when they had travelled three quarters of the way.

I walked with them to the Common and watched as the *Jack* pictured in the first photo and explained more fully in the link, was smashed up and killed.

I go because I enjoy it and for me there isn't any belief system involved. It is purely a tradition and I am pleased to be in Bristol and be able to walk some of the way with my granddaughters.

I came home quite tired after spending the afternoon with a really friendly and kind bunch of people and was pleased that the weather stayed dry for most part of the day.

Where Were The Voters?

2011-05-06T11:33:00.001+01:00

Photo Copyright: Maggie May

I am by no means a politician, but I was brought up to always vote. So today I am taking the bull by the horns with a rant.

My parents told me about the way that suffragettes had died or been imprisoned so that I could have my vote. This left an impression on my mind and I have always voted when the opportunity arose.

There are countries today who do not have the privilege of voting and whose people would give anything to be able to do so.

We take for granted our right to vote and I wonder if it was taken away from us, whether there would be indignation, an uprising ....or wouldn't anybody notice?

Why were there no other voters in the building when I popped into my local voting station at 9 am? The time when many mothers would have dropped off their children and had an opportunity to call into the local polling station?

Why, when I travelled by bus later on in the day, passing several polling stations on my journey, didn't I see any people going in or coming out?

Why do we have this total apathy when it comes to local government voting?

People grumble all the time when they don't like what the City Council does or doesn't do.

Surely they realise that this is the chance to do something that could change things?

We didn't have a local government vote this time but there was the chance to vote about whether we wanted the AV or not and I would have thought that this would have provoked some strong feeling one way or another.

Seems like I was mistaken. Not many seem to care or understand it.

Complete apathy.

Today, I was listening to my local radio programme where listeners were invited to ring in and say whether they had voted or not and give their reasons why they had or hadn't.

It seemed to be the older generation who phoned to say they had voted. Younger people said that they had been too busy, couldn't see the point, that all politicians were the same no matter who you voted for, or that they didn't understand it.

So there we are...... lets hope that when the non voters don't like something that is going on in local government, that they will not grumble when they haven't even taken the trouble to vote.

Should voting be made compulsory like the census?

What do others think?

Fish And Steam

2011-05-01T07:12:00.003+01:00

Photos Copyright: Maggie May

You may be able to make out what the first photo is about but if you have no idea, then I will explain.

I saw an advertisement for foot massage and thought that it was a novel idea. You see there were no people involved....... only fish.

I suppose you might be revolted at the thought of dozens of small fish sucking the dry skin off your feet.

However, I found it an amazing experience and for 15 minutes I sat with my feet on a grid in a tank of water up to the ankles and from the moment that I put my feet into the tank, a shoal of small hungry Garra Rufa latched on to both my feet and started to suck. They moved all over the feet and the soles and heels and uppers.

It felt like thousands of bubbles bursting about all over my feet.

I found it very soothing.

My granddaughters sat and watched while I was being devoured, keeping their own feet well hidden behind socks and shoes but they did seem very intrigued to watch me go through what was to them, torture.

I was really enjoying the sensation but my 15 minutes soon came to an end but I was really amazed at how soft my feet had become. They felt very tingly for ages afterwards.

I would love to do it again and fully intend to.

Because the girls had waited so patiently while my feet were being cleaned up, I asked them if they'd like to go on a steam train that runs along part of the waterfront in our city.

This suggestion went down very well so we meandered along looking at other things as we walked to the platform.

Once aboard, we travelled along the waterfront for a while and then branched off and went down another track through the backs of some familiar buildings, along the Avon and the whole journey lasted about twenty minutes there and back.

I think that it was a lovely trip, though we smelt a bit smokey by the time we'd finished.

Anyone remember Rosie and Jim? We didn't expect to see them looking through a barge window.

My feet felt wonderfully invigorated right through the afternoon. In fact, I felt generally more sprightly!

Has anyone else had a fishy foot massage?

Settling Down

2011-04-29T14:53:00.007+01:00

Photo Copyright: Maggie May

Not so long ago when my grandchildren were eating in the central part of the city, these two pigeons were watching with beady eyes for any scraps. We don't often feed them because they can become a nuisance but as there are cafes about I expect that they do make quite a few meals out of left overs.

They look as though they might well be thinking of settling down in that hanging basket.

Speaking of settling down, I'm sure everyone knows it was the Royal Wedding today and I was not going to be watching it intently. I just wanted to see Kate's dress and see the actual church ceremony.

However, once I started to watch I was infected by the patriotism and felt I really wanted to see all of it.

There are times when I am hugely proud to be English and I think that todays Royal event really was an asset to the country.

In these times of unrest, financial hardship and wars and uprisings springing up all over the place, it makes a really wonderful change to share in someone else's happiness and to see the way the crowds in London responded to it. William and Kate who are now the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, really did look very genuinely happy and I am sure they stand a very good chance of making a go of their marriage and judging by the looks of pleasure on the cheering faces of the crowds, it seems to be the general feeling.

I am sure that I am not alone in wishing them a happy future together.

Wheres The Holiday Gone?

2011-04-25T19:19:00.006+01:00

Photo Copyright: Maggie May

Well there I was in holiday mode. I don't know what I was thinking of..... telling the granddaughters we had at least another week off school and I said it was because of the Royal Wedding on Friday and the May Bank Holiday the following Monday. How very wrong I was.

They go back tomorrow!

So that means that I work one afternoon/evening this week. The choir that I joined starts back this week too and I have one or two other things planned as well. I will watch some of the wedding but not stay glued to it all day.

So it will be business as usual.

We all had a lovely Easter break and chocolate featured quite heavily in it.

My daughter and the grandsons went back to the east coast yesterday and my son and granddaughters have only just left. (Well I do see them a lot during term time so they will be back tomorrow.)

Harry seems to be doing well and has his MRI scan next week.

That just about sums up all my news for now.

Happy Easter

2011-04-23T07:05:00.003+01:00

Photo Copyright: Maggie May

Today I am writing this post before my two children and four grandchildren wake up. There is no indication, at present that there are so many people in my house.

Soon it will be a very different story as they get up one by one.

Granddad is the first up. He has already gone downstairs to feed the rabbits.

In the space of just one week, he is such a different person to the suffering man he was last week.

He is not in so much pain now and he seems to be walking much better. Harry is not on strong medication but the first lot of tablets that were prescribed made him feel quite ill. The ones he is taking now, suit him very well.

I am not so scared of him going out by himself and he will soon pop to the newsagent for his paper.

The weather has been just like summer. The temperatures up in the twenties centigrade. Today, we have the possibility of rain, but there is no sign of it so far and the temperature is quite pleasant.

We have had a riot in Bristol that has made the headlines on The National News and in the newspapers..... all to do with a supermarket that was built in an area where the local people did not want it. Well, I wasn't aware of the commotion, though it went on all the night before last

and there must have been the noise of helicopters, sirens and such like passing through. That seems to have calmed down now but there is still strong feeling about the supermarket.

Millie, the youngest grandchild has just got up....... quickly followed by her sister, Amber.

The boys are not so eager to rouse these days. Teens seem to need more sleep and don't go to bed early enough.

I must rescue Granddad. He cannot understand why the whole world doesn't get up at the crack of dawn, though he seems to be struggling to do so himself, these days.

He will be getting the breakfasts for the girls.

Soon, this post will be old hat. However I will not be writing another one this side of Easter. The boys won't be be going home until Sunday.

Schools are on holiday for at least another week and the Royal Wedding on Friday has caused us to have yet another day off...... so the holiday stretches on.

Wishing you all a very Happy Easter.

I will try and catch up with reading blogs and commenting when I get a quiet moment. I am sure there will be some ...... or is that wishful thinking?

Crochet and Hospital Visits

2011-04-19T12:45:00.007+01:00

Photo Copyright: Maggie May

Harry and I have just come back from his hospital appointment to discuss the recent bone scan that he had.

Unfortunately he now has cancer in the spine which is very painful and that is why he has had such a rough time of it recently.

He has to have some radiation treatment soon to help the pain and then he will have to start chemotherapy for up to ten months.

However before that commences, he will need an MRI scan to highlight the problem.

On top of that, he has to have a monthly intravenous drip of something to try to strengthen his bones.

We will just have to take one day at a time. The cancer cannot be cured but hopefully will halt the progress for a while. I hope so considering what is ahead of him.

While Harry has been unwell, I have been doing crochet to take my mind of things.

Although I have made crochet blankets in the past, I was inspired by another blogger who I have recently started to visit because of her name initially and then because I liked her blog. She is another Maggie and her blog is called Mrs runof themills Blogspot .

I was recently drawn to some crochet work that she did and decided to do something similar. Hope you don't mind, Maggie if you are reading this.

She posted several weeks ago and took photos of her lovely blankets.

I daresay, the blanket will be the first of many because crocheting doesn't hurt my wrists and hands as much as knitting does.

Ups and Downs

2011-04-14T14:10:00.002+01:00

Photos Copyright: Maggie May

Just going to the corner shop, I stopped and took photos as I passed my neighbours' flowering shrubs. The first is a rampant species of Clematis that looks beautiful and the second photo is of a Mock Orange Blossom that gives out a beautiful scent.

The day was brightened immediately.

I had good news yesterday when I went for my appointment at the hospital, as my CT scan proved to be clear. The pains I have been suffering from can be put down to arthritis, IBS or just plain old age. Its brilliant news, isn't it?

However, this good fortune is slightly marred by the way Harry is suffering right now.

On Monday, I asked him if he'd mind bringing a sack of compost from the garden centre so that I could do some repotting and he happily set off in the car. However, when he came home he was ashen faced, vomiting and in extreme pain from his back.

Yes, I know..... I am on a guilt trip because of it but he is an retired builder and is always going on about large sacks of things being no trouble at all. He forgets that he is not twenty anymore.

Well he has been off his feet since Monday lunch time and has had the doctor round and been on lots of pills that all seem to upset him. It is awful to see him like this and his appointment with his Oncologist has been brought forward to next week instead of May to discuss his recent bone scan.

In the mean time he cannot even be bothered to read a paper or watch TV and he isn't eating hardly anything and is still vomiting.

I can't believe the sudden change in him. So you see, my recent good news seems to be swamped by this new crisis with Harry.

Life is all about ups and downs in this household.

Since writing this post, I am pleased to say that there is an improvement in Harry and I hope it is the beginning of him getting into better health.

Hiding

2011-04-11T12:26:00.007+01:00

Photos Copyright: Maggie May

My rabbits know that every morning they get moved into their large run and get fed with fresh greens and hay, following a cuddle each. So why do they always try and hide when they know that I am on my way to get them? They are playing a game with me, thats why.

Sometimes they try to make themselves very small and hope they won't be noticed and sometimes one of them will jump into the tray, knowing that I won't want to pick up a bunny with a wet tail end.

However, when I went to collect them from their night time cage this morning, they had pulled a piece of newspaper over their heads, hoping that I wouldn't notice them. They really are are very funny but loveable bunnies.

I am a bit dismayed that so many of my blogging friends have suddenly given up and abandoned their blogs. Some of them I have *got to know* after a couple of years of writing and commenting. It seems so sudden not to have any contact from them at all when this happens and I am left wondering how they are getting on, after sharing with them for so long.

Some tell me that they don't feel that they have anything to write about, while others get interested in other things or haven't the time to blog. I feel we all have this happen to us from time to time but to give up completely after three years or so seems very extreme.

When I compare my blog this year with what I was doing a couple of years ago..... I notice that I am not going on so many trips to lovely places that I used to do. My grandchildren are growing up and there are not so many funny stories to tell and I don't seem to be writing about my past or doing memes any more, so I dare say that my blog is not as interesting as it used to be.

However, I do still enjoy writing it regularly and consider it to be like a journal. I have acquired new readers and I am always very pleased to get to know new people. I am also constantly taking photos for the blog. However, there is a definite gap when some one who I consider a good blogging friend gives up.

I suppose it is inevitable with this kind of friendship. It seems to be of the transient type.

What do others feel about it when it happens to them?

Forget-me nots

2011-04-06T11:57:00.006+01:00

Photos Copyright: Maggie May

Forget-me nots are beautiful little flowers that spring up all over the place at this time of the year. They grow between my patio slabs in my back garden and invade my tub plants but I never mind as they are not really invasive and can quite easily be controlled. Besides..... I really like them.

Taking a short cut through this church yard with my friend, Audrey, I decided to snap the scene as it seemed to be such an appropriate name....... forget-me-not, in the church yard. Most of these headstones are devoid of any lettering as they must be extremely old. So it seemed poignant to me that the forgotten person buried there should have these little flowers growing over them.

Walking around church yards can be quite fascinating and I don't feel it is at all morbid. I think Audrey thought so though as she hurried through.

I can't think what the yellow flowers are right now but they must have escaped from a nearby garden and seemed to compliment the blue of the forget-me-nots. There was a definite tranquility there that caught my imagination.

The weather, as usual, has been predictably unpredictable.

We have experienced cool wet weather for a few days but today is sunny and dry for a change.

I have been enjoying the book, The Butterfly House by Marcia Preston. I am half way through it and don't want to put it down.

It is a while since I felt like this.

Somedays I would just like to sit and read and not have to bother with work........ sigh...... but today it beckons.

Two Ways of Looking at Hyacinths

2011-04-01T19:16:00.001+01:00

Photo Copyright: Maggie May

These hyacinths caught my attention when I was walking past the Council's bedded plants in a central part of our city.

Not only do they look good, but they give out a lovely fragrance to people who walk by.

When I walk by here, I am either shopping or on my way to the various hospitals that my husband and I have to frequently visit.

Unfortunately, Harry will be starting chemotherapy some time next month and I have been quite upset at the prospects of him having ten sessions to try to halt his prostate cancer.

Similarly, I am also having to pass these plants to go to the hospital that I attend for my check ups and I will be having a CT scan next week but it will be a week or so later before I will get the results.

So the sight of the plants can actually bring cheer to me but at the same time I can feel that they remind me of hospital visits and of the worries that we will both have to face in the near future.

I was told by a cancer councellor recently, that I am allowed to worry for ten minutes each day! I am supposed to write them down in a little book and stop after ten minutes. Then I have to let the worries go and try to divert my thoughts to other things.

I am having moderate success with this and of course, I can write down my feelings separately and I do this daily too.

On the positive side..... I have joined a choir. I used to sing soprano parts in church choirs when I was much younger and I really did miss doing this when they eventually folded up. I went to a *taster* session last week and found I really felt great after a two hour sing. However, I have had to change to an alto part because I cannot get to the top notes of the soprano range that I could manage quite easily when I was in my forties. This will be a challenge as the part will be harder to learn as it isn't usually the main tune. I have a CD and lots of music to practice with over the three week break. Seems I started on their last day for this term.

What do you do to cheer yourself up?

More of the Same

2011-03-28T09:49:00.000+01:00

Photos Copyright: Maggie May

In my last post I had an interesting comment from Merry Weather because she had taken the time to visit my link about the Gibb's Family, who had founded Tyntesfield. She said that the stately home had been founded by bird poo! She was right. All the Gibbs' money had come from seagull poo, known locally as guano, imported from South America and all of the estate grounds were fertilised with it.

It makes a change finding a wealthy family whose money hadn't been made from the slave trade. Bird Poo is so much more acceptable and I like that idea very much. They used natural resources and were very much *greener* than we would have imagined.

You can see that the Camelias are still thriving! I took photos of other coloured Camelias but noticed that most of them had Audrey's thumb next to the bloom because she did insist on holding the flower head in the right position for me. You might remember from my last post that I went to Tyntesfield with my friend, Audrey and my son, Sam.

This must have been a very busy courtyard at one time

and to the left of this photo there was quite a sturdy but small rusted cage against a wall. I wonder what type of creature was cooped up in that unhappy environment? The Victorians were not noted for their kindness to wild animals. I imagine it to be some kind of exotic cat or a bear or possibly a chimpanzee.

I couldn't find a reference to this cage in any of the literature that was provided by the National Trust who own the estate now. Unfortunately, I didn't take a photo of it.

Was this the way to a possible dungeon, I wonder? Well, I wasn't going down there to find out. However, it does look dank and dark.

These articles were left in what must have been the servants' quarters. That boiler was obviously used for washing the clothes. My mother had a slightly more modern one when I was a child.

I love taking photos through little hidey-holes like this one in the picture below.

Hope you enjoyed another taste of Tyntesfield Estate.

Tyntesfield Estate

2011-03-24T10:51:00.001Z

Photos Copyright: Maggie May

I recently visited Tyntesfield Estate which is owned by the National Trust. I was accompanied by my friend Audrey, and my son, Sam.

Tyntesfield is about 8 miles from Bristol and overlooks the Yeo Valley. It is in lovely grounds and there is ongoing renovation being done but not in an intrusive way.

Tyntesfield is a Victorian estate and has quite a history that is worth reading about and if you have the time, you can visit here.

Unfortunately we decided to go on a Thursday only to discover that the house and the priory are not open to the public on Thursdays or Fridays. However, we decided to go round the grounds which were vast with lovely views overlooking the valley. In fact, it would be quite easy to spend a day just looking round the lovely gardens, walking along the paths that weave through woodland and countryside. It would probably not be possible to see everything in a day.

This is one of a pair of lions that stands at each side of the steps that lead up to the formal gardens.

The Priory is quite Gothic in design with many little gargoyles looking down at us. A bit far away to zoom right in with my camera.

Going back to the formal gardens, this walkway will look beautiful later on in the year when the plants and flowers will cover these archways into a solid roof. Maybe it will take a few years to get to that stage but I would definitely like to go back and see just what does grow there.

This is one of two little summerhouses that stand at each end of the formal garden and I think these were my favourite things about this garden. I loved the tiles and the benches that looked so inviting. There were plenty of little places to sit for people with weary feet.

Sitting on these benches gives one a view of the formal gardens in the picture below. It is very restful and a soothing place to be.

Yes, I would definitely go again and the weather was just perfect on the day that we visited.

Spring Has Sprung

2011-03-19T10:01:00.001Z

Photos Copyright: Maggie May

It is recognised globally, that the British are known for talking about the weather. Maybe it is to do with the fact that our climate is so variable that there is much to talk about. Its never the same from one day to the next and when I used to work in the school playground, I took a waterproof jacket, hat, scarf and gloves, as well as sunglasses and sun hat. That just about covered anything that our climate could throw at me.

I took some of these photos last week when we had a wonderfully warm, sunny day. Then just as I was about to post the photos, it changed back to Winter again and everything seemed very wet and drab and dreary.

However, today we are experiencing warm sunshine again.

The first two pictures were taken on one of my walks and I couldn't resist taking a photo of the cherry blossom flowers and the forsythia.

So far, I haven't been challenged about taking photos of other peoples' plants but I often wonder if that will happen one day.

This is from a corner that I have in my own garden of Pulmonaria. I am very fond of these little flowers that are among the first to appear after snowdrops and crocus. They hang their little heads, making it impossible for someone like me to get down low enough to take a photo of the underneath. I might never get up again if I was to lie down for a better view.

I have several tubs of miniature daffodils quite near to the house and these do bring cheer as I can look at them through the window if the weather isn't good.

The same with primulas that seem to withstand some neglect and come up time and time again.

Some of you might be wondering about my health. All I can say is, that I am still waiting for a CT scan and am not in any real pain.

Similarly, you might be wondering what became of the extended family in Japan. News from the grandparents tells that they are all reported safe but some of them may have lost homes.

In Tokyo and all the surrounding towns, the electricity is now rationed by power cuts and there isn't the usual selection of staple foods in the shops.

There is still much concern about the Nuclear problems but the good news is, that a person has been found alive and well in the debris, after eight days of searching.

That makes the rescue service seem well worthwhile, doesn't it?

Rabbits' Play Time

2011-03-15T15:28:00.002Z

Photos Copyright: Maggie May

"Ash, there's grass on this tube."

"Mmmmmmh. I know Lily. Its delicious.Wish I could get up to top bits where theres more of it."

"I'm thinking, Lily how to get to the top of that tube.You're not going to sleep again are you?

Come and listen to me or I won't be your friend."

"I think I have the answer, Ash. Come and have a go at jumping on this tube. Come on, come on. Whats the matter with you?"

"I'm busy eating my sea grass mat, Lily. Can't be bothered just now."

"Viola! I knew I could do it, Ash. Just a question of balance. Come and join me. Its great fun."

"Lily, you're not sleeping again are you? I guess that was hard work, but I'm a bit fed up with you right now. I was beginning to have fun. I guess I will have to eat my sea grass mat by myself because you look as though you're about to drop off, as usual."

A Natural Disaster.

2011-03-12T11:05:00.008Z

Photo Copyright: Maggie May

My granddaughters were born in Japan and have memories of a life there before they came to England. They obviously love their Japanese grandparents and are in regular contact via Skype.

We were totally dismayed when we woke up on Friday to the terrible news that a mammoth earthquake, the largest ever to be recorded, had not only shaken Tokyo, but had caused a 30ft tsunami to devastate part of the city of Sendai on the north east coast of Japan.

My ex daughter in law, Kaiko has many relatives in Sendai.

We knew that the grandparents and Kaiko's sister were safe. They work in Tokyo but live in another city just south of it. They had managed to Skype that they were well but that they were very worried about all the outer members of the family, aunties, uncles and cousins.

As all the trains stopped in Tokyo and there was no transport of any kind, Kaiko's sister had to trek a long way to her home and this took several hours.

However, they were safe.

As my granddaughters watched the terrible scenes on TV, (they were everywhere and we really couldn't avoid seeing some of it), they were extremely worried about their grand parents but this morning they talked to them via Skype. Their minds have been put at rest.

As for the relatives in Sendai, the grandparents think they are alright because they shouldn't have been near the sea at that time. However, because there are no phone signals or electricity, there is no communication and there is also the worry about their welfare. Basic things like food and water, not to mention the problem with the power stations in the surrounding areas.

I know that there will be help going out to them from other countries and the Japanese are well able to help themselves as they have had many calamities and recovered from those, but it is a bit chilling for us to see all this in a land where we have family links and where I visited and had very happy memories not so long ago.

I guess Japan will always be a bit close to my heart.

I am so glad my immediate family are in England though.

I have seen the Consultant at the hospital that I attend and I am now waiting for a CT scan. However, they seem very pleased with me and think that I am not at all typical of most people with CUP (unknown primary) and that the terrible statistics of that diagnosis, should not be taken by me. They stressed that I am very unusual in my treatment and recovery and the way I am at present. I am not in pain at the moment and feel quite well.

I am in a good position, they say, so I have to be optimistic.

Smaller Than One Centimetre

2011-03-08T20:20:00.003Z

One of the horrible things about having a secondary cancer of an unknown primary (CUP), is that no one has any real idea where it started. Nothing showed up on a CT scan because it was probably smaller than 1 cm which is the smallest sized tumour that can show up on a scan.

So where was this tumour then?

My body may well have fought the Primary cancer off but been unable to cope with the Secondary.

Each CUP sufferer has a different diagnosis and it seems that no two people present in exactly the same way. That is why I have felt so isolated because there is no one else who I can identify with.

There are no answers to my questions and my searching mind.

It was only by having a biopsy of the Secondary Cancer (in my case a gland in the groin) that anyone had a realistic idea what type of cancer it was, though where it came from is still a mystery. The sample was studied under a microscope and the experts were able to recognise a few pointers. In my case, it appeared to be of Ovarian type.

However nothing showed up on the ovaries and the cancer appeared to be in the peritonium.

I responded to the treatment of Ovarian Cancer quite quickly and have been having 3 monthly checks ever since my chemotherapy ended in the second week of April, this year.

The problem is, that before my cancer was discovered, I was suffering from Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS) for many years. The symptoms of IBS can be similar to the symptoms of Ovarian Cancer but because I had IBS symptoms for so long, I assumed that it couldn't have been cancer related.

Well what is all this about, you may ask? The problem is, I have recently been suffering from the pain in the lower abdomen that I used to suffer from before cancer was even suspected. This has gone on for a short while and because I can't be sure which condition is which, I have had to ring my Oncology nurse to tell her what has happened. She has arranged for me to be seen this week and I dare say there will be scans to follow.

If *it* has returned again, then I am truly disappointed that I didn't get a longer remission. So I am pinning all my hopes on Irritable Bowel Syndrome. I never thought I would see the day when I wanted this condition as it really isn't pleasant.

Last week I was in considerable pain but the last few days have been pain free.

I guess only time will tell what is going on in my body but in the meantime, I am left with the usual uncertainty that is not easy to deal with. I guess it will always be like this for me now and I wonder if I will ever get used to it?