Wednesday, 10 August 2011

The First of Many

Photo Copyright: Maggie May

A dear blogging friend has just disclosed that she's faced lots of tests, surgery and hospital visits and she never mentioned it to anybody because she felt that every one would think that she was always moaning about illness.
That left all her followers and blogging friends wondering why she'd disappeared from Blogland for so long.

I personally would prefer that people told me about their experiences of ill health rather than leave me wondering what has happened.
However, I hope that whoever reads my blog does not think that all I can talk about is illness.
I have tried to write about things that are really happening in my life, whatever that might be and if ill health comes into it then please accept it as a phase that most probably will pass to something better. I just feel that I have to be true to myself and everything that is happening right now.

Yesterday, I had to go to Oncology to have my *dummy run* through the radiation scanner (or whatever the real name is for that procedure,)
There was I, lying face down on a really hard surface with my head balanced on my arms and my bare bottom exposed to all who wished to see it and I can assure you that its not a pretty sight.
As luck would have it, the machine went wrong, so an engineer had to be called and he came pretty quickly to the scene. I expect he had seen some funny sights during his working day and my bottom could now be added to his list.
By then I was getting an itchy nose and really wanted to scratch it but I'd been told to stay still and not move and this took quite a lot of my will power.
The engineer fixed the machine and I then had to continue with lying still for what must have been half an hour and my nose was getting itchier by the moment. I wonder why these itches happen when it is not at all convenient. I'm sure I'm not scratching my nose all day long
I had more tattoos put on my hips for future guidance and by the time I was told I could get up, my hands were numb and my wrists were aching through the effort of lying in one position for so long.
Tomorrow is the *real thing* when the radiation starts to attack the beast on my coccyx.
I will be having a daily visit to this hospital, apart from weekends, for the next six weeks.
I feel now that the challenge is beginning.
My pain is being very well managed too. This makes me feel that all the down times do eventually come to an end with better times following.

I am ashamed to see on our news that young English thugs are smashing up their own country. It seems they are making a statement about their poor lifestyle. Some of them seem too young to be out at that time of night. Don't their parents care?
I feel that there is no excuse for the terrible things that have been happening.
They say they have nothing and thats the only way they can draw attention to themselves but we had very little and were born in a war when there wasn't even enough to eat. Our generation didn't act like that. People helped each other out and respected other people and their property. We respected the law and seemed to have a conscience. I wouldn't like to go back to the days of corporal punishment, children being put into Police cells and hanging...... but have we gone too much the other way and brought up a couple of generations who feel that the world owes them everything and that anything is theirs for the taking?
I really am ashamed to be English right now. I know that there are many people who are good and behave decently. The vast majority are like that. However, what good can come out of smashing up other peoples' homes and businesses? Isn't that just going to bring the country down to a much lower state than it is already in?

It is The Bristol Balloon Fiesta this weekend. I hope the weather conditions will enable us to see hundreds of them flying over our homes. So far it is windy....... maybe too windy but anything can happen by then.


Jeni said...

Woo Hoo! I can't believe it -I made it here first to comment on your post! (I'm usually at the bottom, the tail end in those things.)
Agreed with your take on people who are ill but don't share the info. I'd much rather hear that's why they aren't posting than wondering where in blazes they went!
And you comments about how your "Test run" went -good humor definitely goes a long way -both to entertain the troops (That would be us, your readers) and probably to you in that it gives a lift off your worry zone to make fun of these things.
Now -tomorrow and for the weeks to come -will keep you in thought and prayer that all goes the way the doctors want it to go and that it doesn't totally whack your system out in the process too! Peace and have a great day now!

Glenda said...

What a powerful post, Maggie. With an artful mixture of subjects, you've given us a glimpse of what you're going through which we who feel a kinship to the bloggers we read want to know. And your thoughts on the violence going on in your country right now is exactly what I was thinking. It's not only the youth of your country, but over here in ours also. I'm just praying there won't be copycat violence in other countries because of this. What have we done to our youth to make them feel they're entitled to more than we had? If they want to demonstrate, peaceful demonstrations are much more effective than violence. It seems they have no mind to think for themselves.

Mya said...

I'm so pleased the pain has been sorted and is being managed now. I'm sure the engineer sees all sorts of things in his job - and seeing your bottom was probably the highlight of his day! Very best of luck for the next six weeks and a big hug.
Mya x

Dimple said...

Hi Maggie,
I agree that I would rather know what's happening to my blogland friends. When someone just disappears, one wonders why?

I pray that God will make your treatment easy for you, that nothing will itch inopportunely, and that you will soon be healthy again.


mrsnesbitt said...

Hi Maggie will be thinking about you tomorrow. You know I too am ashamed of what is going on right now - agree with you fully.
Take Care

Bernie said...

Oh Maggie I have been catching up on your post and am so relieved that you found medication that ended that terrible pain. Will be thinking of you and saying prayers that your radiation treatments goes well. I am sure you will find them much easier than chemo. Take care my friend, many prayers and big hugs....:-)

Teacher's Pet said...

I'm very sorry that the machine broke down while you were having to be so still in it...and the nose itching, too...sigh. It seems that those things happen at the most inopportune time, Maggie.
I continue to hold you up in prayer, my friend. Know that you have friends all over the world praying for you. Give Harry our best, too. Much love to you from Jackie

Teacher's Pet said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Nora said...

I'm thinking of your poor bare bottom and your itching nose. What an ordeal that must have been. I have a feeling that you will come through this radiation therapy just fine and that it will work well.I wish you a lot of luck for the coming six weeks. So much patience you will have to have. You are always very close to my thoughts, Maggie.


Retired English Teacher said...

Maggie, I always respect the way you honestly deal with what is going on in your life and with your health. You never know when what you have to say, even about how you deal with the "dummy test" will resonate with someone else who also must go through similar procedures.

The sharing of your procedures make others feel less alone. We realize many have trials and pain. We are a part of a community that supports each other through these trials. I will continue to hold you in my heart and mind.

I know this is a difficult time for your country. There is much turmoil everywhere. Feel pride for those who are responding to the violence with dignity and unity.

Clare Dunn said...

Maggie...been thinking about you, while working on the watercolor of your garden.

It is finished, at least as finished as it will ever be. I usually reach a point in my work where I KNOW if I add just ONE MORE BRUSHSTROKE, it will ruin the painting. So it is with "Maggie's English Garden".

I would like you to have it. If you would be kind enough to send me your mailing address, I will get it to you as soon as I can.

With Love,
xoxoxo, cd

Brian Miller said...

ugh...comment eaten by the blogger shut down....i would so not want to be in the machine when it broke down...yikes...i hope that you are in good spirits....prayers for you for sure...and i do like to know what is going on with my friends....

Midlife Jobhunter said...

"I just feel that I have to be true to myself and everything that is happening right now"

Very wise woman. How lucky that you can share. I'm not certain I could be so candid.

I've been following the news of the troubles in England. Seems very odd and I keep listening to the news to discover the cause. Your point of those who didn't have because of wars, etc. is most valid. Working together.

I do hope you get to see the balloons. I imagine a most beautiful site.

ladyfi said...

Hope all goes well in your test!

As for what is happening in the UK - it's so very scary and very very sad. As you say, many people, like my parents, grew up in the war with very little food and had very poor beginnings. They tried to make a better life for themselves but not at the expense of others.

SueAnn said...

Yes, I want to know what is happening in my blog friends lives! If they go missing...I wonder a lot about them. So glad you share.
What an ordeal you went through...sigh! Wish I could have been there with you and we could share stories while you were laying there.
Hugging you

Mimi said...

I too like to know what's going on with blogger friends, but I respect "each to their own" with regard to sharing.
Maggie, your words here have given me an insight into cancer and its treatment that I would never have, and I'm very grateful for that.
You're posts are so witty too, even though you're having a hard time.
Best of luck today and in the coming weeks, I'll be sending healing thoughts over the Irish Sea to you.
Re the riots, it is disgraceful; organised thuggery.

Akelamalu said...

You're not ALWAYS moaning and talking about your treatment Maggie. I'm glad you let us know what's happening so that we can support you and let you know we care. I hope the next stage of your treatment goes well m'deario, I'll be thinking of you.

You are right about a generation thinking the world owes them a living. As you said we didn't have it easy but we didn't go out thieving and destroying other people's property!

Ayak said...

As always, thinking of you and hoping the treatment won't be too difficult for you. xxx

lailani said...

May your wrist on fingers not turn numb, as the doctors do their thing with your bum! Praying for an easy go for you, and hope the next 6 weeks go by without incidence for you (well, the bad kind, let all good stuff come your way!)

Eddie Bluelights said...

Hope the radiotherapy went OK today Maggie and starts to chase that evil thing you have away.

You are dead right about the thuggery. Makes us all ashamed to be British. I think we should be really hard on these people, brining bac k the birch and the stocks. As David Cameron says, if they are old enough to take part in these riots they are old enough to bear the consequences. And it is largely the fault of the parents. I was beaten many times at school for doing bad things. I deserved it, I accepted the punishment, it hurt at the time, but it did not do any long term damage - and I am better for it. It is about time these 'do-gooders' were stopped and discipline restored. Then and only then will the problem be cured. It will take a long time even then. Will telephone soon. Love Eddie X

cheshire wife said...

I hope that today's treatment went better than the dummy run.

I like to feel that a blog refects what is happening in the blogger's life and if they are they are ill. If nothing else it makes me appreciate my own good health.

As for the rioting hooligans, they don't seem to have respect for anybody not even the police. Something, somewhere, has gone very wrong.

RNSANE said...

You are always an inspiration to me, Maggie, and I am happy to read whatever you have to say. You tell it like it life is, really - the good with the bad. Everything isn't roses and, for me, the difficulties are harder when we have someone with whom to share them.

Somehow, except for my oldest and dearest friends, my blogging friends seem to be my biggest support now and I would be lost without them.

A lovely girl I knew when I was working managed a fun bar near the hospital called "The Monkey Club" -we occasionally went there after work for happy hour and a lot of folks held their retirement parties there - and that's where mine took place as well. Gigie just had her first mammogram ( I think she celebrated her 40th birthday ) and, very sadly, she had a tumor and it was cancer. She had surgery and is now undergoing chemo and radiation. Her spirit is amazing and she, like you, is an inspiration.

It is so sad to see this situation in England, a country I love. People are worried about my proposed six month visit to India, telling me there might be terrorist attacks but,heck, things can happen anywhere. I just wish people didn't settle their issues by destroying everything around them!

As an RN, I've heard - and seen - so many bare bottomed woes. After one of my recent hospitalizations, I did a blog with my poem, "H" Is For Hospitals" which reflects my feelings about that experience. said...

We should never be ashamed to be English. We are the real faces / voices of England. The thugs who lay waste to our beautiful country are the ones who should be ashamed. It feels so good to see the masses rising up against the yobs. The whole episode has shown me that it really is the normal, thoughtful and kind individuals who hold the balance of power. We don't often get our voices heard, but this time we have and I have a feeling that a turning point might have been reached.

secret agent woman said...

I prefer hearing about people's real lives, too, including the painful. I like honesty. And I am so sorry you are having to go through this. I'm glad to know so that I can keep you in my thoughts.

Wendy said...

I prefer authenticity as well. If we only post about the good times, then we're not really authentic, are we? Life is full of ups and downs and I'd rather read about it all. As someone else said "you never know when something you've experienced and blogged about will resonate with someone else". So true.

All that being said, I sometimes felt that I was blogging about "poor me" when having to watch my husband's health deteriorate. And I hoped that others would understand that I just needed to vent, to write about the heart-aches I (and him too) were living day-to-day.

Now that he's gone, of course, I wish I could take it all back again. Anything, to have him back in my arms. But this is not life. Life goes on. And by sharing our lives, our personal stories, I feel we learn from each other.

I admire your courage in going through your treatments. Machine breaking down, bare bottom, itchy nose, pain?? Wow - that's a lot to take! Thank goodness your pain is being managed now.
Take care, and I'm glad you blog about Real Life.

Mary G said...

A country that produced you is a good one, regardless of thugs.
(We have them in Canada, too. No one is without them.)
Hope the therapy goes well - and yes, it seems to me most appropriate to post about it.
Is there any connection between the balloon and the bottom? :-)

Jayne said...

I do miss blogging people when they decide to stop, especially if we have shared comments. It is funny the connections you can make with people even when you've never met. I see blogging as a modern version of penpals. :)

But I don't think you should worry what you talk about on your own blog. Sometimes it really helps to share things and the words of suppoort offered back when someone is going through a rough patch is really wonderful. So don't ever worry about that! You just concentrate on getting better, one day at a time.

How awful for the machine to pack up at that moment! I'll be thinking of you over the next few weeks and wishing good healing thoughts your way. x

Crystal Jigsaw said...

Dearest Maggie, when one reads about your ongoing battles, these thugs are worth nothing in comparison. You are one of the bravest people I know (online) and if any of those idiots understood the value of life as you do, I am sure they would stay at home rather than loot and cause trouble on our streets.

And thank you for the image of your bare bottom. I'm sure the engineer had a lot to talk about that day, lol.

Take care, my friend.
CJ xx

Retiredandcrazy said...

I love you honesty and style Maggie. Don't ever change. And keep your spirits and tail end up during the radiotherapy sessions! You are much loved.

Suburbia said...

Dear Maggie

Just checking in to see how you are. Im on holiday at the moment and so not blogging or reading any blogs but ( and i am coming to the point!) I wanted to know how your treatment went, I have been thinking about you and am very glad you write about your life as it is, warts and all as it were. I like catching up with your news whatever it is about, and for me this is what blogging is about, a friendship through the ether.

I am appalled that they didn't cover your dignity in hospital when the engineer came in, and I am sorry you experienced so much discomfort.

Best wishes for all your treatment, I am glad your pain is manageable .

Not being in Bristol, I will miss the balloons, wave at them for me?!!

S x

Hilary said...

I agree with you about wanting to hear what's going on in folks' lives but I respect the lack of motivation to write about it if that's the case with your friend. I hope the radiation does its job for you and that you're tip top again before too long.

Teacher's Pet said...

Sending a hug to you, Maggie....just because I can!