Monday, 5 November 2012

The Guilt

Last Thursday, I was really looking forward to my daughter and two grandsons coming for a long weekend during the half term. We usually have quite a lot to catch up on because she only comes every few months and theres only so much you can say on the phone.
My son also called over with the two granddaughters and we also saw his partner, Sandy. Just a normal family gathering and a pleasant time.
Eventually it was bed time and the granddaughters had gone home with Sam and Sandy and everyone was in bed.

By five o'clock in the morning, I knew I had a really bad sickly feeling and I was off my feet for the whole day trying to be discrete with my bucket. It was bad luck happening just as Deb had arrived but probably just a fluke. I would have stopped her coming if I had known what was going to happen.
The sickness left me fairly wrung out but I felt I got over it normally and was just annoyed about the bad timing of it.
However by Sunday morning, poor Harry suddenly became quite violently ill only this time with something much worse than I'd had because he needed the toilet too. (I'm being polite!)
My daughter had to travel that day to the other side of the country and being a single parent in charge of two autistic boys, and having a business to run, she decided to leave right away.
She travelled back about lunch time and because of bad traffic on the route she had to take, we knew it would be evening before she got home. She would phone when she arrived, she always did.

In the meantime Harry had started fainting and I was loading the machine as fast as it would wash, still feeling a little weak and tired from my own session a few days before.
In the end I had to dial the paramedics who came within five minutes. They were like angels coming to the rescue with lots of advice and arranged for a commode and plastic sheeting to be dropped off. They ran lots of tests and were here for an hour. Harry was border line for hospital but they didn't want him spreading germs so it was decided to keep him home but I would need help looking after him.
They arranged for Rapid Direct to visit our home twice a day, so that he could be bathed without me having to worry about him collapsing and he was carefully monitored.

My daughter rang with the news that she'd got home just before she started vomiting. Although she had got safely home, I was filled with guilt that it seemed to have been started by me.
My son called round this morning to say that he'd dropped the children to school but was now going to bed for the day because he felt awful.
However, Harry seems to be getting over it very quickly and it turned out to be just a twenty four hour tummy bug.
However, if your immune system is a bit compromised because of other health issues, then it can be more of an urgent thing.
If he goes on like he is doing, then he will be discharged tomorrow.
I still feel very guilty though.
I wonder if anyone will want to visit again?


Expat mum said...

Dear me - that sounds awful. Try not to feel guilty Maggie. You have enough to worry about. x

Beryl Ament said...

Same thing happened to us a couple of years ago when we accepted an oft-proferred invitation to spend Christmas with a son in D.C. Fortunately it was literally a 24 hour bug. But these things happen. No guilt, please.

Irene said...

Well, you caught it from someone too and it's an endless chain of guilty people if you look at it that way. I wouldn't if I were you and be glad that everyone is getting over it so quickly. I wish you all good health and better days. xox

Jeni said...

These bugs and/or colds too do tend to come on us by surprise for sure and can put a heck of a damper on our lives as well. Just glad to hear you recovered fairly quickly and that Harry is also on the upturn too. As to the guilt, don't feel that way about it as you don't have any clue as to how it came and found you in the first place so rejoice and be glad that it was fast moving!

Formerly known as Frau said...

It happens don't beat yourself up. One of the kids could have brought it in the house and you and Harry got first because of your immune. It stinks but it's life! I hope you are all better soon.

Celia said...

Not your fault, hard to say where it came from. I'm just sorry your long awaited visit went the way it did. Good health to you all.

rosaria williams said...

These bugs linger around, get spread by so many different agents, that nothing stops them.
Glad to hear that you got help for Harry, and you could then get back on your feet.
Hope by now the flu has gotten through the rest of the family, and everyone is safe and sound and ready to visit again.

Leave It To Davis said...

We had a rotovirus that was like that about 7 years ago...we each had our own day of pewking and diarrhea. It was awful because there were 5 of us in the house at that time. My son's girlfriend kept coming over and kissing him and she NEVER got sick. Glad you all got over it quickly. So sorry you had to go through it though!!

Brian Miller said...

awww.dont feel gramma fell this weekend and broke some ribs...on her birthday no less...i had to stay away because i had a head cold and did not want her getting it, esp with broken ribs...hope everyone feels better soon!

Suburbia said...

Oh Maggie that's so sad, I'm so sorry it spoilt your precious time with your daughter.

Retired English Teacher said...

Talk about bad timing! I'm so sorry you had to all suffer through this during a time when you should have been enjoying each other. These things are not your fault.

I am impressed by the care and help that your health care system provides. Thankfully, those services were there to help you with your husband.

Jackie said...

With each word that I read, I felt so bad for you and Harry and your sweet family; don't feel guilty, my friend. These viruses seem to find their way matter what we do or don't do.
It sounds like the two of you had a very rough go of it. My thoughts are with you...hoping that you both are feeling better very well as your family members.
Lots of love to you,

Secret Agent Woman said...

It didn't start with you - you had to catch it from someone else. But I'm sorry all of you had to go through that - sounds absolutely miserable.

Hilary said...

Oh Maggie, I'm sorry that you and your family have been feeling so poorly. Those bugs certainly take their toll. Guilt should not be a part of how you are feeling though. None of it was intentional so there's no room for guilt.

Ayak said...

You shouldn't feel guilty Maggie. These things happen and you're not to blame. These awful bugs spread like wildfire but thank goodness it was only a 24 hour thing. Poor Harry sounds like he took quite a beating..hope he and you are much better now xx

SueAnn Lommler said...

Oh sorry that this nasty bug caught you. We had a time with a bug as well and it flew through the entire family...lickety split!!
All started around my granddaughter.
She felt so bad!!
But we are all recovered now and up to no good.
How about you?
Don't beat yourself wasn't your fault.

Crystal Jigsaw said...

Oh heck, tummy bugs are awful things aren't they, and affect people in different ways. They are very quickly spread so it's nothing to feel guilty about. You must have caught it yourself...

Glad Harry is on the mend now though, and you too of course.

CJ x

jazzygal said...

Sorry to hear you were all so stricken with such an awful bug, great service from your paramedics though, doubt we'd get that here in Ireland! Glad everyone's on the mend, I'm sure they'll all be back visiting soon. Who would have thought it would spread so quickly?

xx Jazzy

Mimi said...

Poor you, Maggie, and poor Harry.
The exact same thing happened my friend last weekend, she got the bad bug, then her 87 year old mother, then her sister, husband and 2 kids. I kept my distance as she told me!
Hope you're all feeling better soon.

Rose said...

Oh, I feel so sorry for you, Maggie! But you shouldn't feel guilty--that's the way the stomach flu always seems to work. I caught it two years ago, and then my youngest daughter got it--the same weekend my older daughter was coming home for her bridal shower. Older daughter didn't catch the bug, thank goodness, but she wound up having to help make snacks and decorations for her own bridal shower because her sister was too sick to do it!

The only good thing about the stomach flu is that it usually doesn't last long--hope everyone is feeling better by now!

jean grey said...

That's not your fault, Maggie. Germs are everywhere and anyone can caught the bug. Don't feel guilty just thank God that you all easily got over it.
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Akelamalu said...

Oh crikey Maggie how awful for you all. What brilliant service you got after phoning the paramedics - our NHS triumphs again!Glad to hear you're all recovering.

Suldog said...

Aw, that sounds horrible, but don't totally put the blame on yourself. Who gave it to YOU?

Wendy said...

I'm sorry you were all so sick! But no blame - everyone comes down with it at some time and nobody wants to pass it around.
Sending hugs.
Hope everyone feels better.

Sandi McBride said...

Glad that you are feeling better Maggie, those 24 hour bugs can take time to totally leave you alone...hope this doesn't make your kids put off any near visits!!!