Sunday, 28 April 2013

In Memory Of My Dear Sister In Law

Photo Copyright: Maggie May


My last post was filled with good news and now I have to announce that my lovely sister in law, Mrs Eddie Bluelights, who I have always referred to as Gloria in my blog, has passed away. I will leave my brother Eddie to fill in the details on his blog, when he feels up to it, but all I can say is that she was a very brave lady who fought (if that is the right word) breast cancer for a good many years. She was only 42 yrs old when she was first diagnosed and died aged 61.

I will miss her because she was my brother's wife and we loved her as a valued member of our family. I will miss her because we had some lovely regular meetings that I really looked forward to and I had hoped for many more.  I will miss her because she was kind and understanding and we talked most weekends on the phone. I will miss her because she was the very last person I knew, after my friend Pietra died last October from the very same thing, who really knew what it was like to experience the horror of the pain that cancer in a bone could cause. I could relate to her and she could relate to me. We knew what the awful disease could do and understood one another's anguish and pain. Now I am feeling very much alone. However, it must be a million times worse for Eddie and their two children and partners.

I hate cancer with a vengeance and I'm really hoping that there will be a cure, if not in my childrens' life spans then in my grandchildrens'.

I am grateful that Denise Nesbitt, another blogging friend, is going to be doing the Race For Life in June and that she is being sponsored for Cancer Research. This is the only way a cure is going to be found in the distant future, though much headway is being made in some cancer treatments.
I wish that I could do the Race For Life but I can hardly run for a bus these days!

On the day that I heard the sad news, which was not really expected to happen as quickly as it did, I was told that she was dying, early in the morning and I felt pretty much devastated because I had no time to do the one and a half hour journey to go to see her for the last time. Yet at the time of her death which was unknown to me then, I was filled with a kind of peace and felt protected from all hurt.
Life seemed to go on around me fairly normally. In fact I had the grand daughters here for breakfast.
When they had gone to school and I heard what had happened, I cried for hours until I could cry no more.
I noted that it was a sunny day and that things were already happening in the world that Gloria didn't know about. I was a survivor and she wasn't. I had to press on with what life dealt me, she didn't.
The only thing that brings any kind of comfort to me is that she had a firm Christian faith and that I know she has moved on to something much better.
I have been thinking of my mother a good deal lately and all the other people who have moved away through death and I really hope that they are all together.  I know that many non believers read this blog but I can only write things from my own perspective and I do respect other people's points of view. However, these are my experiences and feelings of the sad event and how I have coped with it to date. I know that grief never really leaves anyone but we have to learn how to cope with it and find some way with dealing with our feeling while being true to them and not suppressing them.



23 comments:

Akelamalu said...

I am so very sorry for you and family's loss Maggie. RIP Gloria. Cancer is indeed a terrible disease. :(

Jackie said...

I cry with you, my friend...I have cried ever since I found out.
I am so sorry for the loss of Eddie's dear sweet wife.
Love,
Jackie

Formerly known as Frau said...

I'm so sorry! My heart aches for you all, keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

Secret Agent Woman said...

Oh, I am so, so sorry to hear that, both for you and your brother.

dianefaith said...

I'm glad you had that moment of peace during this sad time, and I hope that moment returns again and again for you.

Toni Hargis said...

Goodness Maggie, your family is certainly being put through it. So sad to hear your's and Eddie's news.

Celia said...

So sorry Maggie, I'm keeping you in my prayers and your family too. Seems like your friend touched you as she passed.

mypoeticpath said...

I am so sorry for your loss Maggie but glad your sister in law is peace now.

I have NO doubts that there is a world we go to after this one. I have had many interactions with loved ones now passed on. They are with us, always. As one respected psychic I know said: They are still here, just in another place, doing other things. So true.

Take care Maggie and lots of hugs, G

Eddie Bluelights said...

Thank you Maggie for those thoughtful and very kind written words read just after your most welcome visit this afternoon with Harry, Sam and his fiancee.

You indeed were a terrific friend of my dear wife and I am sure she is speaking very loving words about you and your loved ones everywhere in Heaven.

I shall write a post as soon as I am able.

God bless and much love from your little brother ~ Eddie xx

mrsnesbitt said...

Maggie I am so sorry. I am so humbled to be doing Race for Life. I sincerely hope and pray that the money raised will help the search for the cures - it may not be in my lifetime but it may be in the lifetimes of my nephews - or their children. I am setting up a cancer research support club and over the next few months are planning a series of events. Our wedding anniversary (25 years) is in June and I am asking for no presents, but a donation to Cancer Research. Take care Maggie xxxxxx

Hilary said...

Maggie and Eddie, I'm so very sorry for your loss. You and yours are in my best thoughts. Wishing you much strength. Hugs to you both.

Mimi said...

Maggie, I am so sorry to read of this sad news. It is very hard for you to lose her (I will visit Eddie's blog to leave a message for him).
You and your family will be in my thoughts, I really feel for you.

Jeni said...

Dear Maggie, my friend. My condolences to you as well as your brother in your shared loss. You are so right in your assessment too about cancer being such a horrendous disease. You and I have shared that knowledge first-hand, battled it and came back from it too. For how long, who knows, but we are still here and able to talk about it. As to your concerns in posting about death and the loss of loved ones and heaven -pay no attention to the people behind the curtain (to sort of paraphrase from "The Wizard of Oz") and write your thoughts and comments as they mean to you. If someone doesn't share your beliefs, that is their own way of life and not yours to worry about whether your words seem offensive to them. If someone doesn't like what your thoughts and feelings, beliefs are, they can sail right on by and pay no heed to those. I do however think the overwhelming majority of your readers would probably agree with your theories about life, death and life after death too and can appreciate your sentiments in that respect very much. It is, ultimately YOUR belief, thoughts, feelings and not being put out here as a method of trying to evangelize people but rather, just speaking your piece. And you did it all quite well too. Peace be with you, my friend. (Also, some virtual hugs and love to you and your family too!)

lailani said...

Oh Maggie, so sorry for your loss. Prayers for comfort and peace...

Dimple said...

I am sorry for your loss, Maggie. I am glad you have hope to see Gloria again, and I am glad you had some good news recently to help balance things some.

Comfort and blessings to you!

Rose said...

I am so sorry for your loss, Maggie, and for Eddie and his family. I, too, believe, that we will see our loved ones again some day. Knowing they are in a better place--happy and disease free--gives us some peace. I hope that your memories of your dear sister-in-law will continue to give you comfort.

Beryl Ament said...

My condolences. A lovely obituary.

reasonscheerful123 said...

Oh Maggie I join with everyone in sending condolences. You have surely lived through some difficult losses and I can sense your compassion and love so tenderly in this post. In a way you are so blessed to know what's truly important in life but I would love to give you a hug right now!

CiCi said...

This is so sad. You are a fighter, a strong woman, and I know you were a good friend and sister to Gloria, not just an in-law, but a true sister.

Brian Miller said...

oh, i am so sorry...i will pop over and leave eddie a note...cancer is a brutal enemy...i hope we do find that cure...for so many...

ladyfi said...

Oh, I'm so very sorry to hear this. Cancer takes too many lives.

Retired English Teacher said...

I am so sorry for you loss dear Maggie. This terrible disease, cancer, has taken way too many too young. You sister-in-law was young. She had fought this for so many years. I am so sad to think of the hole that she is leaving behind in the lives of those who loved her. My condolences to you, your brother, and his children. God Bless.

Suburbia said...

I am so sorry I have not caught up with your news earlier Maggie. Hugs to you all

S x