Saturday, 27 June 2015

Slipping Away.....


Over the last week, Harry has been slipping away from me, sleeping more and more and not being able to communicate very well at all.
He drinks from a covered beaker and eats a mouthful of soft food most days.
I sit by his side and stroke his hair and talk to him while he is sleeping. Who knows if he can process what I say or not?
Occasionally he opens his eyes and stares into space, other times he smiles and says, Hello.
I am missing him. I miss the conversations we used to have. I long to tell him the little snippets of news that I know he'd be interested in.
I feel I have to visit each day and sit with him but we've had some really lovely sunny days and I feel the summer is slipping away too. 
Somehow I had never envisaged him declining like this at the height of the summer. It would seem more natural on a cold, bleak winter with bugs and flu and viruses to catch...... but not in such perfect conditions as we're having now. 
Am I being silly or not?

19 comments:

Gosia k said...

Maggieit is definitely you can survive but it is the hardest time in your life. God Bless you. Gosia

Eddie Bluelights said...

No . . . you are not being silly.
This is a very cruel and lonely journey for you and I am so sorry and feel very deeply for you.
I will help in any way I can ~ your little brother, Eddie . . . . love you! . . :) xx

dianefaith said...

No, Maggie, not silly at all. Nor should you worry about capturing some of the summer for yourself. Whatever comforts you is what Harry wants. I'm thinking about you.

Wisewebwoman said...

Virtual hugs Maggie, and of course you're not being silly. I remember thinking when my BFF died in December, oh I'm so glad it's not summer, she loved summer so and hated the winter. Ass I typed that I heard the lonely cry of a loon on the bay and I fancy she heard me. Silly? Well then, me too!

XO
WWW

Celia said...

Not silly at all. My Dad died in summer and I remember hoping he'd seen the sunlight and the flowers. Sending you hugs from afar.

Jackie said...

My dear friend.... As you talk to Harry, know that he hears you and feels your loving touch. I'm so sorry that he is slipping away.
I send you love....

cheshire wife said...

Very sorry to read this. The situation that you are in is never easy and rarely happens as we imagine it will. The most important thing is that Harry is comfortable and pain free.

Stay strong. I shall be thinking about you.

rosaria williams said...

Oh Maggie, I feel the discomfort you feel, the wishes in your heart, the hope with each moment that things might improve. Sending good thoughts your way.

Bernie said...

Sending you loving and prayerful thoughts Maggie. I am sorry Harry is slipping away and I know how you have tried to keep him at home close to you. Be strong dear friend, so many are praying for you and Harry. Email me anytime you wish to talk, big hugs, xo

Ayak said...

Thinking of you at this really difficult time Maggie xxx

Rose said...

Dear Maggie, Thinking of you at this difficult time and sending hugs your way. Harry may not hear everything you are saying at this point, but I'm sure he feels your loving presence at his side.

Sue said...

Dear Maggie, It is not silly, nothing is silly about love and loss...we feel what we feel, there is no right or wrong of it...thoughts for peace for both of you.

Mary Gilmour said...

So difficult. So much grief and loneliness. My heart aches for you. Maybe it is meant that this should happen in summer so that the flowers and sun can comfort you. You are both in my thoughts and prayers.

Secret Agent Woman said...

Not silly at all. And I'm so, so sorry. I can't even imagine what this must be like for you.

Akelamalu said...

Oh Maggie I'm so sorry to hear this. I haven't been blogging or visiting for ages so had no idea Harry was so bad. Please accept a ((HUG)) from me and know I'm thinking of you. xx

Retired English Teacher said...

Your words about Harry slipping away during a season such as this nearly broke my heart. No, you are not being silly. You're poignant, simple words express so much love and loss that we can see right into your beautiful heart. Hugs. I'm thinking of you.

Hilary said...

There is nothing silly or wrong about how any of process impending loss. My heart goes out to you, dear Maggie.

Expat mum said...

Dear Maggie, It's been a while since you've posted. I'm thinking of you. xx

Leilani Lee said...

Almost a month has gone by since you posted, wondering how things are going for you now. No you are not being silly. I hope that you will have access to a hospice counselor or a grief support group to help you through this. The counselor that hospice provided when our son died helped to keep us sane.