Friday, 15 July 2011

The Battle Goes On

Photo Copyright: Maggie May

Some things just go on from one year to the next without too much attention. My roses are like that, appearing faithfully every summer no matter what happens to them. If only humans were the same.

The last few weeks have been difficult for me as I haven't been really well. I have tended to throw myself into other things, like the singing...... to take my mind off my present situation.

Well, I have seen the top Consultant at Onchology and I have had the results of the CT scans and bone scan that I have recently undergone, and there is no doubt now that I have a tumour on the coccyx (tail bone.) This is excruciatingly painful and I am drugged up a bit to mask it.
Well..... what can be done? I was groaning inwardly about having to have more chemo.
However, I am now on a waiting list to start radiotherapy to try and blast this thing off the bone.
It seems that I will be starting treatment next month.
There are various side effects and other organs close by might be damaged, which might mean operations and minor disability if things go wrong.
I did feel rather depressed by all this, but as the Onchologist explained, if the chemo hadn't been as successful as it was, I would have had 4 months to live at the very outside. That was in December 2009, so I am one of the lucky ones, so I have been repeatedly told, to have survived this long, against statistical odds.
This is the first time that I have been told this bit of information and if I'd known this at the time I was having chemo, then I might not have had the will to pull through.
I have a good chance of a longer life after radiation treatment and I completely trust the Onchology team.
So I am mustering up my strength and courage and throwing myself into God's hands and hoping for the best. As far as I am concerned, the sooner I start treatment the better.






39 comments:

Mimi said...

Oh Maggie, I feel for you.
When I saw the post title, I wondered if it ws such news, but then read about the roses, and thought "yippie, she's ok".
BUT, there is treatment for your tumour, and they reckon it will work. That's positive.
I've lit a little candle for you, and am sending love, light and healing wishes your way.

Fi from Four Paws and Whiskers said...

Damn!
So sorry to read this...
puts some of the other issues in life into perspective when the battle involves living and treatments again.
Thinking of you and sending positive thoughts.

Formerly known as Frau said...

Maggie I'm so sorry...I know this is tough especially with Harry going through Chemo also. I will being praying for you both and hope god gives you strength. ((hugs))

Brian Miller said...

i pray for the doctors wisdom and for your strength MM...hope the treatments go well..

LYN said...

Maggie I am new to your blog so didn't know your history..very sorry to hear this..

Mya said...

Maggie, I'm so sorry to read this. Can I send you a great big hug? And loads of positive energy - not that you need it, I think your attitude is bloody amazing.
You will win this battle.
Mya x

Twain12 said...

i'm sending you all my love and a speedy recovery from this...it does sound painful and i hope that can be managed ♥

Akelamalu said...

That's too bad Maggie but you've got this far I'm sure you positive attitude and the right treatment will get you through.

I'm sending you positive thoughts and oodles of Reiki. x

Nora said...

I'm so sorry, Maggie. I wasn't expecting that at all. You have a good attitude, but I know it must be tough on you. What can I say? I think about you often. I wish you well. I hope the therapy blasts that darn thing to pieces and leaves you otherwise unharmed. My thoughts are with you always.

Much love,
XOX

ladyfi said...

I feel for you and am praying that the radiotherapy will help!

Rae said...

My very best wishes to you for speeedy recoveries for both you and Harry, I hope you are both feeling better very soon. With hugs and love, Rae xxx

Suburbia said...

Oh Maggie, you have had so much to deal with recently it really doesn't seem fair at all. You have been so strong though and that strength will see you through the next cycle.

All my very best wishes to you all. You know I will be thinking of you every step of the way.

All my hopes and wishes for you my dear

S x

Eddie Bluelights said...

Very sobering about the initial seriousness of the situation and just how much danger you were in. I thank God the chemo worked for you and the big hope is that radiotherapy will deal with the bone problem. I was 'talking' to a friend about this and she says in the States there is Radiation Surgery which targets directly onto the deseased bone without damaging surounding tissue. I wonder whether this option might be available and whether you could discuss with the consultant. Love and hugs ~ Eddie x

Celia said...

I'll light a candle for you too Maggie. Sending love and good thoughts.

TechnoBabe said...

"If only humans were the same". Yes.
Your roses are lovely, giving you joy each year. Starting the radiation treatments now would mean you get to see your roses each day. I am so sorry you are facing yet another round of treatment and all the discomfort that will be part of that.
You are a brave soul, and an example to all of us. Why someone as wonderful as you has to go through these trials, I do not understand. You have lots of family love surrounding you and also lots of bloggers surrounding that group backing up all that love.

ChrisB said...

All the best to you both in the coming weeks - Your attitude and great strength will go a long way to get you through this. Sending you love and hugs xx

Rose said...

Oh, Maggie, I'm so sorry to hear this; you have had more than your share of troubles the past few years. But you are a strong woman, and I know you will get through this, too. I hope the radiation is all that is needed and that it all goes well. I'll be thinking of you and sending positive thoughts your way.

Ayak said...

As always Maggie I admire your courage in facing all these obstacles, and know that you are always in my thoughts. Hoping you can get going on the radiotherapy asap and get rid of the damn thing!

Love
Linda x

Jeni said...

Damn, Maggie -what a bummer to learn you have to have more cancer-fighting treatments. But, in the spirit that I've seen you exude over the years I've been following you, I was really glad to read the ending lines -that you're ready to go full-steam ahead -with the treatment! Atta way, girlfriend! And, we both know that attitude has a whole lot to do with how well the treatments go for us too, don't we? Just keep dishing it right back my friend as it's the only way to deal with this stuff. Fight, fight, fight and then, fight some more and ALWAYS think positively! And know too, we've all got your back, ya know!

RiverPoet said...

I wrote a poem for my mother, called "All the Best Honeybees," which described how her roses went on and on. Your tie-in here made me think of that.

My heart breaks for you, Maggie, and I wish I had some words of wisdom. All I can say is fight, fight, fight. As one cancer treatment commercial here in the states put it, "You don't have an expiration date stamped on your foot."

You have people who love you (all of us included) who would miss you so acutely. But I know it's hard. I saw my dad battle cancer for 7 years - 6 1/2 years longer than they thought he would. He got to see many things happen in that time -- including my graduation.

I wish you many days of feeling well and finding happy things (like your rose bushes). I know that pain is a bitter mistress, because she is with me daily, too, but I hope that the doctors will find ways to make it tolerable for you.

Much love, and peace - D

Christina said...

The roses are beautiful. I am sorry to hear you are going to have to undergo more treatment. I am planting some flowers in pots this weekend. I will plant one for you.

RNSANE said...

Maggie May, you have become most precious to me and I am truly saddened that you have this other difficult obstacle to surmount. I have every expectation that you will. I pray that you will be enveloped in the love and caring from all of us and a benevolent Creator who will help you survive all this and bloom so brilliantly as your beautiful roses do! My thoughts, warm wishes and prayers are with you!

cheshire wife said...

Oh dear Maggie, what a bind. I am so sorry to read this. I hope that they can kick it once and for all this time. My own problems are very minor by comparison with what you and your husband are going through. As you say the battle goes on. Keep battling!

debsdigest.com said...

You've already proved that you're a stong person and I'm sure that that will help you through. I'll be praying for good news for you.
I can only imagine how painful that must be. I crashed down on my coxix ten days ago and have barely been able to walk without pain since.

Strawberry Jam Anne said...

Dear Maggie - I am so sorry that you have another battle to face. You are a positive person and I am certain you have the strength and determination to face this challenge. Be guided by the oncology team, whom you trust. I wish you well and send you my love. A x

Casdok said...

So sorry Maggie xxx

secret agent woman said...

Oh my. I'm so sorry to read this. I will be holding you in my heart.

Gail said...

So sad you have to go through this Maggie. I will pray for you

Lynne said...

Saw your avatar on Hadriana's comments and wondered how you were doing. (I've visited before).
So sorry to hear this news. I do wish you the best in your treatment and that you make a full recovery.

Clare Dunn said...

Maggie,
With your wonderful attitude, I can imagine a good outcome. Keep up the positive thinking!
I have almost finished "Maggie's English Garden". Look for it, soon!

Love to you and Harry, too
xoxoxo, cd

Dimple said...

I'm sorry you have to go through this again, Maggie. Once is more than enough! Prayers for your health are going up as I write.

Blessings to you, Harry, and your family!

Retired English Teacher said...

Maggie, I can't imagine the physical and emotional pain you must be in. You have a great Oncology team that you trust, and a wonderful attitude. These are pluses. I will be praying for you. God bless.

Wendy said...

Sending much love to you Maggie. I hope you feel better soon. Putting yourself in God's hands is the best you can do.
It sounds like you have a good oncologist, so I'm hoping things go smoothly for you.
Love your roses, they are so beautiful.
Blessings

Happy Frog and I said...

Maggie I'm sorry I haven't stopped by sooner, I've been away. I'm so sorry to hear you news. I will be keeping everything crossed that the treatment does the trick. You are a real inspiration and if there is anything I can do to help please just let me know. x

Hilary said...

Maggie, I'm so sorry to read this latest news. You are a strong woman.. both of body and spirit. I know you'll get through this too. I hope your pain is minimal and that you are feeling better before too long. Best thoughts.. always.

Ann Best said...

Oh, Maggie. I feel for you. I just drove a dear man in my handicapped van to the hospital, he and his wife. He has terminal bone cancer and looks awful. He's grateful they can control the pain. I know his wife doesn't want to let go of him, and he seems to want to keep going. But you can tell by looking at him that it's a just a matter of time. As you say, he's in God's hands and so are you. We find out how strong we are and how strong we can be when we're faced with such life challenges. My heart and a prayer go out to you!
Ann Best, Author of In the Memoir, A Memoir of Shattered Secrets

Maggie May said...

Many, many thanks for all your kindness and concern. I feel you are all true friends and I will keep you posted throughout.
Maggie X

Crystal Jigsaw said...

Bloody hell, Maggie - I have missed this post and feel absolutely awful. I was just reading your most recent one (28th July) and realised I've missed something important. I am so sorry. Please, please take care of yourself. You are such a special person and have become a very special friend in my blogging circles these past four years.

CJ xx

What About the Girl? said...

Maggie May,
I have been away. I have neither been posting nor commenting. But I thought I'd give your blog a visit. I hope you are doing okay. What a tough predicament but I pray you pull through....

Hugs!