Photo Copyright: Maggie May
Some things just go on from one year to the next without too much attention. My roses are like that, appearing faithfully every summer no matter what happens to them. If only humans were the same.
The last few weeks have been difficult for me as I haven't been really well. I have tended to throw myself into other things, like the singing...... to take my mind off my present situation.
Well, I have seen the top Consultant at Onchology and I have had the results of the CT scans and bone scan that I have recently undergone, and there is no doubt now that I have a tumour on the coccyx (tail bone.) This is excruciatingly painful and I am drugged up a bit to mask it.
Well..... what can be done? I was groaning inwardly about having to have more chemo.
However, I am now on a waiting list to start radiotherapy to try and blast this thing off the bone.
It seems that I will be starting treatment next month.
There are various side effects and other organs close by might be damaged, which might mean operations and minor disability if things go wrong.
I did feel rather depressed by all this, but as the Onchologist explained, if the chemo hadn't been as successful as it was, I would have had 4 months to live at the very outside. That was in December 2009, so I am one of the lucky ones, so I have been repeatedly told, to have survived this long, against statistical odds.
This is the first time that I have been told this bit of information and if I'd known this at the time I was having chemo, then I might not have had the will to pull through.
I have a good chance of a longer life after radiation treatment and I completely trust the Onchology team.
So I am mustering up my strength and courage and throwing myself into God's hands and hoping for the best. As far as I am concerned, the sooner I start treatment the better.