Sunday, 15 September 2013

Heartbreaking Week


Sorry that I am really down at the moment. I had thought that I wouldn't blog anymore but I guess that would be over reacting.
I eventually signed my rabbits into the refuge yesterday and all their equipment went with them.
I know that it is for the best for them, but I am going to miss them so much as they lived in our home and they were very much a part of our lives.
The last week before they were taken, was the worst bit. As the countdown started, I got more and more depressed. The actual handing over was not so difficult but now, a day later, I feel as bad as ever again.
The weather is cold and rainy. Surely there is something good just round the corner?

Harry starts his drug trial this coming week and that brings about some really worrying thoughts because, as its not been approved yet, there are some nasty, possibly dangerous and unknown side affects. He has a two in three chance of getting the drug but he might be given the placebo and that will not be good either as he is getting tired and experiencing more pain as the wretched disease progresses.
I'm sorry that this is a depressing post, though you don't have to read it or comment on it.
I am very grateful for support and your comments though.
Hoping to be more cheerful as the time progresses and I get more used to things.


16 comments:

Jackie said...

We are here for each other, sweet Maggie
Wrapping you with hugs right now.
My prayers are with Harry as he begins the new treatment.
You are a strong woman, and I admire you more than these words can express
I love you, my friend.
Jackie

Expat mum said...

Don't apologise Maggie. We would all be sad and worried in your situation. I wish I could do more than leave a comment. x

rosaria williams said...

Ouch, everything happening at the same time. Your husband's situation is enough to shake you both up; then the rabbits. Ouch, indeed.
With all that you are dealing with, the only thing you can do is make yourself a good cup of tea, a plate of goodies, and a good nap as often as possible.

We can't know or control our circumstances; we can just cope. The more we cope, doing enough to stay strong and positive, the more we put distance between us and the bad stuff. After all, all of us will go through similar stuff, sooner or later. We can hold each other's hands; we can pray; we can listen. Ultimately, this too shall pass and what we do to survive is all that makes the difference.

Much love coming your way.

mrsnesbitt said...

I was only thinking about you Maggie. You don't have to be upbeat at all - never fear hun we are here for you. Wish I was closer - I would be round like a shot with a bunch of flowers and a big hug. xxxx

Ayak said...

Oh Maggie, what a sad time for you. Your friends are always here in the bad times as well as the good. Thinking of you xxxx

Celia said...

I'm so sorry Maggie, it's sad to give up your bunnies but it is more of the continuing good care you gave them, they were lucky to have you. I've shed a tear with you, bless you and Harry.

RNSANE said...

Dear, dear Maggie....it seems we all have really rough patches and, thankfully, our friends are happy to listen. We need to be able to talk about the good times, along with the bad.

How difficult it must have been for you to say goodbye to your bunnies. They have been such wonderful company. But, you had to decide what was right for you at this time.

Poor Harry. I hate his suffering...and yours, along with him. As a nurse now, for almost fifty years, nothing has made me more rageful than cancer. We have made great strides...but not enough.

As always, I send my love and prayers - from India where I am starting my 4th month. I'll be back in San Francisco Dec 3...to see my precious granddaughter's first Christmas.

Working Mum said...

I'm so sorry you are going through this awful time and there's no need to apologise for blogging about it. I really hope that this new drug works for Harry and things start to improve for you both. My prayers are with you. WM xx

Irene said...

I want to say: when the going gets tough, the tough get going, but I know that it is not as simple as that. You must be heartbroken and in grief and you have my complete sympathy. Did you have a good cry yet? I would bawl my eyes out. In my thoughts, I am giving you the biggest hug and kiss that I can and I hope you can feel that. I hope there is love as a balsam for your soul.

Much love!

Rose said...

Dear Maggie, I am so sorry about your giving away your rabbits, and I understand totally how heartbroken you feel. You can take consolation in the fact that they will be well taken care of, but I know that doesn't take away your sadness.

Yesterday I attended a get-together with some high school classmates and was so surprised to see one friend who has been battling what has been diagnosed as terminal cancer. We didn't think she would still be with us by this time, let alone be able to join us for the afternoon. She shared some of what she has been through, but we also laughed and reminisced. I know she enjoyed this time with us, and she inspired all of us by her determination to keep on fighting. You are my inspiration, too, Maggie. I will continue to keep Harry in my prayers, and pray that you will continue to have the amazing strength you have.

I do hope you don't give up blogging, but if you do, I hope you'll stay in touch with us somehow to let us know how things are going. Sending you a big hug right now!

Rose

dianefaith said...

I was thinking about you this morning before I ever saw your post about your tough week. I got myself up and walked a mile to church, and it was along the way that I thought about you and knew that it was your words that had gotten me moving. I'd read about the way you had walked all around the city when you were worried and upset -- and that's what got me going. You *are* an inspiration, maybe especially in the tough times. Don't ever feel bad about writing what you feel. You're far away from where I live, but you walked with me this morning.

Mimi said...

thinking of you Maggie, and sending love over the pond.
It's a tough time for you. I haven't been around blogger (too busy), and don't know what made me log on this morning, but hope it helps, even a tiny bit to know that I'm thinking of you.
Writing about it is therapeutic, and we're all here for you. XX

Brian Miller said...

i hope that the drug trials go well...and i am sorry for your letting go of the rabbits...

hugs

Beryl Ament said...

Hope the world is looking a little brighter by now. It seems that the older we get, the harder the problems—somehow we never thought things would work out this way. Chin up.

Suldog said...

Maggie, I've been a crummy blog buddy, not stopping by often enough. I just read this piece, and the one below, and what can I say? My prayers are with you and Harry (and the bunnies.) I'll actually say one after this posts. Please keep a good thought!

Hilary said...

Oh Maggie, I hope you'll keep blogging and sharing what's on your mind and in your heart.

I'm so sorry that you had to say goodbye to your beloved Ash and Lily. I'm certain you've found a good home for them but I understand the heartbreak of having to let them go. I hate that for you.

I also hope that Harry will get the treatment he needs to offer him some relief and comfort. I'm sorry you're going through such a hard time. Sending hugs and best thoughts your way.