Friday, 22 August 2014

Stuck Between A Rock And A Hard Place

The very next day from the last post I wrote, Harry started to be very ill and although I'd called the doctor, by the next day on my Thursday afternoon out, his carer phoned me to say that Harry was in a state of collapse and he was getting the ambulance. Fortunately, I was only ten minutes away because I knew he wasn't well and had decided to stay in the local vicinity.
He was kept in a general hospital for a few days and then transferred to the Bristol Cancer Hospital, where he still is now.
Trouble is, each time he has one of these episodes, he is left more disabled than the last time. I have noticed that he is now unable to transfer from bed to any apparatus he needs without support. I see that in the hospital he has a notice over his bed stating that he needs 2 people to support his weight. I know in my heart I'm not physically capable of supporting or lifting him. I know my own health problems and weaknesses, though I love him and want to help him. He deserves that.

I now learn he doesn't have the criteria to go into a Nursing Home as he is too able bodied and I would have to fully fund it if I insisted. They can't tell me how long this situation is likely to go on.
I wonder what state of physical decline I would have to get into before I get listened to?
The NHS is in a tricky situation, I know, but there must be thousands of carers at their wit's end trying to cope with situations like this or even worse. The only thing we can do is empathise with each other as no one else can possibly know what its like until they get into this situation.

I really can't apologise enough to all the people who I normally visit and leave comments on their blog.
I don't seem to be able to get much time for blogging although I really want to keep things going.
Please bear with me for a while........


15 comments:

Rose said...

Dear Maggie, I am so sorry to hear that Harry's condition has gotten so much worse. A nursing home sounds like the best solution, although I know it's a difficult decision. I know nothing about your health care system, but surely there is some kind of patient advocate at the hospital who could help you navigate the system so that Harry gets the best care available without putting all the burden on you. I hope that someone here can give you some better advice.

Keeping you both in my thoughts and prayers, Rose.

Gosia k said...

Dear Maggie,

I am so sorry about your husband's condition.I believe that in this situation the nursing house is the best solution but I know the most difficult in your life. Terminal illness is a challenge for every person. Hugs and take care. Gosia

Ayak said...

Maggie this is a ridiculous situation to be in. Of course you want to do all you can for Harry but clearly you physically can't manage to do it all. It must be so frustrating for you to find that he doesn't qualify for nursing home care. Good grief, how much worse can it get for you both? I do sympathise with you. I hope something can be sorted out to make your lives a little easier. Lots of love xxx

Celia said...

I'm so sorry Maggie that Harry is so much worse. Is there an appeal process for the nursing home care? I'm keeping you both in my prayers.

Bernie said...

Oh Maggie I am sorry to read that Harry is so unwell. I have had you on my mind of late and wanted to check in, not expecting to hear this. I worry about your back and hip as well. I do hope your days ahead are much better. Sending big hugs, much love and tons of prayers, xo

dianefaith said...

I am so sorry, Maggie. You can only do what you can do, as hard as that is to accept. Please do take care of yourself. I don't know how the people who make these decisions about who is or is not eligible for care can sleep at night.

Secret Agent Woman said...

Oh my goodness, I'm sorry. Don't worry about visiting blogs - you have enough on your plate right now.

Keeping you and Harry in my thoughts.

Irene said...

Do you have too much income? Is that why he does not qualify? Otherwise it seems to be to be a pretty barbaric system if you don't mind me being so harsh. I know that in my case, I will go into a hospice the moment I need round the clock care and this is all covered by my health insurance. That certainly gives me peace of mind. I am sorry that you and Harry have to go through this, Maggie. xox

Beryl Ament said...

So sorry, Maggie. I have no idea what the criteria are for care in England, and your post makes it clear to me that it it is never too early to put together a file of information in case I ever need it. I am afraid that whenever I make a comment to my husband on an American care peculiarity, he gets upset and blames it all on "Obamacare." Take care of yourself, Beryl

Gail said...

Oh Maggie this is a terrible situation particularly when you read about some of the ways NHS money gets misspent. I do hope something can be sorted out for you.

CHRIS BOSWORTH said...

So sorry Maggie. Hope Harry is feeling a little better and that someone is helping you sort out the situation.

cheshire wife said...

Oh dear Maggie I am so sorry and I do not know what to suggest, but my feeling is that if Harry needs two people to support his weight then he needs professional care. I hope that the situation resolves itself.

CWx

Bernie said...

Thinking of you dear Maggie and hoping everything has worked out for Harry, much love sweet lady, xo

Retired English Teacher said...

Dear Maggie, I am just now reading this. I have no idea if you have Harry at home, or if he is in the hospital. I hope that you will somehow get the help you need. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. God bless you.

Hilary said...

Oh Maggie, I'm so sorry to read about your woes with Harry's health. If his chart indicates that two people are needed to left him, how are they to expect you to care for him yourself? I hope you'll be able to have a case worker get involved on your behalf. Keeping the two of you in my very best thoughts.