Saturday, 11 April 2015

Forget-me-not


It seems ages since I wrote a post but I've been a bit traumatised lately.

Harry got really sick a few weeks ago and I tried to manage him at home but when his legs packed up, I realised that there was no way I could do it. It took two people to get him onto his feet. Anyway, he had a severe infection and was sent to hospital so the situation was really taken out of my hands. For a few days we didn't think he was going to make it but antibiotics helped him to pull through. 
During this time, my brother, Eddiebluelights was in a ward a couple of floors below, with a swollen leg that had ulcerated. I was really worried when I saw the state of it but I was so pleased that I could see him every day. Eddie and Harry were both discharged from hospital on the same day.

I was told that I had absolutely no chance of looking after Harry at home any more as he was too much for me to cope with, so, with a heavy heart I had to find a nursing home for him.
I managed to find one fairly close to where I live and he has a lovely room looking out onto a lawn and he can see robins, blackbirds and squirrels playing out there. There is a black cat who also lives in the home and is free to wander in and out of all the rooms. Harry has a TV and a few personal pictures and things from home. Also, my daughter in law's mother is only two doors away. She had a stroke last summer and cannot look after herself. This makes visiting them both so much easier.
I've experienced many emotions over the last few weeks, which is why blogging has taken a back seat.
However, I'm now realising just how tired and irritable I was all the time I was struggling with Harry at home and now I feel rested and suddenly a weight has lifted from my shoulders. Today he had a whole stream of visitors. 
I won't forget Harry..... I go and see him most days and take him in little treats and tell him all the latest news.
All around me the lovely little flowers of the Forget-me-not are blooming and are scattered in little nooks and crannies of paving slabs and in gardens.
How could I ever forget Harry? We've been together for 53 years.

14 comments:

Gosia k said...

Your post is fantastic, You love your husband so much but defintely it is to hard take care of him. Take care youa are in my prayers. Gosia

Eddie Bluelights said...

Sending my love, Maggie, from your little brother . . . . thinking of you and Harry . . . .
Looking forward to seeing you on Monday . . . . :) Eddie xx

Gail said...

It is never easy to let go but there is a time you have to let the professionals care for your loved ones. We cared for our parents as long as we could. I understand.

I follow Eddie, too.

Wisewebwoman said...

A huge decision Maggie but both you and Harry will benefit mightily.

You took on so much and your love for him shines through in all your writing.

XO
WWW

Rose said...

Dear Maggie, I know this must have been such a difficult decision for you, but it appears to have been the best one for both of you. I''m glad to know Harry has had so many visitors, which is so important. And, of course, you won't neglect him! My grandfather finally had to go to a nursing home when he was 90 for physical reasons, and my mother went nearly every day to see him. Hugs to you, Rose

Secret Agent Woman said...

Oh, I"m sorry. Of course you won't forget him. But go easy on yourself and take all the time you need.

Beryl Ament said...

So sorry to hear your sad news. It was fortunate you managed to find a facility close by. I hope that when you feel less worn out, there will be a new, reassuring pattern to your life.

Shammickite said...

What a hard decision... but as you say, most of the decision was taken out of your hands as Harry needs full time care now. Chin up and keep smiling, it's the only thing to do when life throws this kind of rubbish at you. Give harry a hug from me when you go to visit tomorrow.

Suldog said...

Never an easy thing to do... My Mother is currently caring for my stepfather, who is in early stages of Alzheimers as well as having mobility issues. She'll have similar decisions to make soon enough... God bless!

Working Mum said...

That must have been a difficult decision, but hopefully you feel it is the right one. Surely you must both be happier now that Harry is well looked after and you have time to care for yourself. His room and the view sound lovely and you will both enjoy your visits there.

Retired English Teacher said...

Oh Maggie, you left me with tears in my eyes. Of course you won't forget Harry, nor will he forget you. You had such a load to carry. You must be so tired. You also had such a hard decision to make, but it was made for you. Hugs to you. And prayers too.

Jinksy said...

Sooner or later, such decisions have to be made ...For the past two months or more my best friend of over thirty years was resisting against the inevitable, as she 'didn't like' hospitals. By the time she started proper treatment, she hadn't the strength left to fight, and died early Tuesday morning.
I was so sorry today to read of your traumatic interlude, but it's good to know you're weathering the storm in your usual valiant way. :-) Love and hugs ♥

Leilani Lee said...

Loved your post. The caregiver needs TLC too, and with others taking care of Harry you will now have a chance to pamper yourself. You may even find a new sparkle in your relationship because you won't be so tired and irritable and...

Akelamalu said...

Oh I'm sorry to hear that it has come to this Maggie but you need to do what works for you too. xx