Wednesday, 13 May 2015

The Softer Side......

Photo Copyright: Maggie May

Although early mornings and late evenings are chilly, we've had some lovely sunny days and my visits to see Harry in the nursing home have been really pleasant. In his room, there is a lovely glass door that opens out onto a grassy garden with bird feeders and tubs of plants. This garden is visited by grey squirrels and many species of birds. Harry can see all the wild life coming and going from his chair.
He was a builder for most of his life and obviously has a tough side to his personality.
However, recently, I've seen his softer side. He amazes me by saying repeatedly, "Look at the lovely way the sun shines on those leaves, isn't it beautiful?" Just look at those birds and the squirrels....... you couldn't have picked a better place for me...... it's all so lovely."
He almost makes me cry as these remarks are more the kind of things I would have said. At one time, if I'd have remarked about the beautiful way the light played on the blossom to him, then he's have probably said, "Oh yes"and got on with whatever he was doing.

Sometimes I take a packed lunch with me and eat it there, maybe in the garden or his room. There is a resident cat, probably left by an elderly who died there years ago, for the cat is very old. He seems to sense that I like him and he comes to be stroked or nursed by me. It's all on his terms though and when he's had enough, he jumps down. He does curl up in a chair in the room if the weather isn't as good and sometimes spends hours at the foot of the bed.
Its good to be able to stroke a cat and not have the responsibility of owning it. I do miss not having a pet but I won't be tempted again.

Whenever I go to see Harry, I never know what I will find. He's on a good run of stability at the moment but it could change so quickly and repeatedly it does. I'm learning to accept what comes and be grateful for it.


18 comments:

Jackie said...

What a touching post...and to feel the softer side of Harry as he takes in the beauty that surrounds him warms my heart.
You are a wonderful wife and caregiver, Maggie.
I send you love,
Jackie

Mary Gilmour said...

It's splendid to hear that Harry is settling in and finding something to enjoy. And splendid that he and you have this respite.
We have wonderful nature as solace here too, but it comes with black flies and porcupines. JG is out hunting the latter at present while being bitten by the former.
Why? Each time the daughter's dog encounters a porcupine it costs her and us a trip to the vet with sedation. Pricey!
God bless and I hope things continue serene.

Gosia k said...

nice post and fantastic flowers

Wisewebwoman said...

A beautiful post Maggie, wonderful how Harry has the time now to "see" as you have always done. Rediscovering your husband late in life :)

XO
WWW

dianefaith said...

I love this. It's a blessing when one of us older folks can respond to life in such a gentle, beautiful way. My own mother in her late 80's had a type of dementia which made her mad at the world. It's good to see this sweet side of getting older.

Celia said...

Wwonderful to hear you two are sharing connections anew. Good news that he's feeling comfortable there. The view sounds marvelous. Hope you both are much better rested. Love and hugs to you both.

Ayak said...

I have been reading but unable to comment as I was in England for a couple of weeks...just at the time so many changes have happened in your life Maggie. I am sad that you and Harry now have to live apart but relieved that you no longer have the worry of caring for him which is surely such a struggle when you are not in the best of health yourself. It's good that you are close enough to visit every day. You are always in my thoughts Maggie xx

Shammickite said...

You write so beautifully about the challenges that are facing both you and Harry. I'm smiling about Harry finally noticing all the beauties of Nature just outside his door. Sometimes we are too busy with our daily lives to sit and look around us, and now he is discovering what he has been missing. Life has it's ups and downs, keep smiling Maggie!

Rose said...

I'm glad to hear that Harry has a view that gives him a chance to enjoy nature. Perhaps as someone else said, he appreciates nature more now that he has the time.
Your post also touched me, Maggie, because I volunteer at a nursing home garden. Our goal is to create a garden that provides a place of beauty and sanctuary for the residents and visitors. The residents don't usually come out when we're working, so we only get feedback occasionally from the staff. Your post has reminded me how important these glimpses of nature can be to someone.

Bernie said...

Such a lovely post Maggie and I can't help but think how much Irene would of enjoyed reading it. So happy that you and Harry have this wonderful contented time together. Wishing you all the love and contented times you can have. Big hugs and many prayers, xo

FeltByRae said...

Ah, Maggie... so much change in your life; you seem to coping so well and looking for the positive things, but I know it must be hard. Big hugs to you

PS - we have squirrels in the grounds where I work and near my flat - they never fail to raise a smile when I catch sight of one

Eddie Bluelights said...

Lovely to see Harry with you on Sunday . . . :) love Eddie x

Wendy said...

A different phase of life for you both as time slows down. Sadly you are living apart, but you have such a positive outlook, Maggie. And I'm glad Harry can share his softer side with you, as he savours the garden.

Nice that there is a cat to keep you company. I also won't have pets any more, although I do love animals. Just don't want the upkeep, so I enjoy my grandchildren's' pets when I visit.

Leilani Lee said...

What a lovely post. I remember how much you loved your rabbits. Are you sure you don't want any pets? They can be a blessing in disguise.

Suburbia said...

Oh Maggie it sounds like he's in a lovely place and I'm so glad he has found a delight in the nature around him - that must show he has some peace?

Take care my friend - still often think of you.

Secret Agent Woman said...

I'm glad he's in a good place for him and also it's wonderful to hear the blessing hidden in the difficult situation of him being able to express that more tender side of himself.

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