I feel it's about time that I wrote a post. I've been apathetic enough since Harry died.
You might have read about the wonderful send off that Harry had at his funeral on my brother Eddie's blog. He described everything in such detail that I really don't need to add to it except to say that it was a very happy occasion when all the grandchildren contributed in some way or other by a reading or playing an instrument. Everyone wore colourful clothes and he had all his favourite hymns, readings etc.
There was very much an atmosphere that he'd been set free and had moved on to something much better. That is what we all believe.
However, I had my own secret torment going on because a few weeks before Harry died, I was beginning to experience some worrying symptoms and had got in touch with the Oncologist that had seen me through such a lot of treatment before. They took it quite seriously and thought I might well be relapsing into an other episode of cancer. An urgent CT scan was arranged and two days before the funeral I had the scan and couldn't help but worry what it might reveal.
The following week I was phoned up whilst out walking and told that two things had shown up on the scan. One was a stress fractured pelvis that was put down to radiation damage from four years previously. The other was an unknown *thing* that showed up in my lower quarters.
I was gutted and disappointed that I hadn't even had a chance to do anything that I wanted to do after Harry had died and now it seemed I'd be facing chemo or some horrible treatment in order to get a bit longer life.
As everyone will realise, I'd given my very all to him for well over eighteen months and not been able to have many days off or felt that I could relax because of the unpredictability of his illness.
Anyway, when I got to Oncology this week, I was told that it was most likely to be a haematoma caused by bleeding from another smaller fracture. I'm now waiting for a biopsy to confirm this and to see what can be done about the haematoma.
I was reassured that there was no sign of cancer on the scan anywhere on my body.
Although I am in some measure of discomfort and I also have to be very careful not to do anything that could break my pelvis or hip, I really do feel that I'm so lucky to be given another chance of life.