Saturday, 23 February 2008

A Spiteful Sister!

Quite often when I sit down on a park bench or other place where I feel I will have a bit of peace and quiet, some one inevitably chooses my bench to sit on and starts to tell me all their family troubles!
Have I got a sign on my head that says HERE IS A GULLIBLE PERSON WHO YOU CAN UNLOAD ONTO?
If I'm in a hurry I make some excuse to go, but sometimes I feel obliged to listen, like the other day!

A lady of around my age sat  herself beside me and while I was eating my sandwiches, started telling me about a terrible thing that had happened to her husband.
Apparently, her very elderly mother in law had just died. There'd been a family split beforehand. Her husband and his eldest sister had been totally ostracized when their younger sister & husband "took over" their mother while she was frail and had persuaded her to sign everything over to them.
The youngest sister, husband and boys went to live in the house, which was now theirs and when the son or his eldest sister tried to visit their mother, they were not made welcome and sometimes not even permitted over the threshold.
On the occasions that they had managed to slip in secretly for a visit, their mother told them that she was not being treated very well, sometimes having no one to cook for her, and as she had poor eyesight she found things very difficult. She was left alone for hours at a time. She bitterly regretted what had happened.
Some time before she died, her son took her a birthday gift but was told by the family that he couldn't see her as she had the flu. The younger sister took the present and shut the door in his face. That was to be the last time he would ever visit the family house again.
Unknown to the son or his older sister, their mother had been put into a home, where she had died.
The older sister had received a phone call from a complete stranger, who told them about the death and which funeral directors to get into contact with.

However, not only did the younger sister take all the estate and keep the death a secret, she also prevented her siblings from seeing their mother before the cremation. Apparently, as executors of the Will she could do that.

The lady dabbed her eyes and told me her husband was now a broken man and not in the best of health himself.
I was quite overcome with this tale.
What a spiteful thing to do! Preventing them from seeing their mother and keeping the death a secret.

I was left wondering if this could ever happen to my family, when I get too old?
I walked away with indigestion!


softinthehead said...

Sometimes it beggars belief how some human beings treat other human beings, it is even more unbelievable when these people are related. A very sad tale.

the mother of this lot said...

It made a good post though!

snailbeachshepherdess said...

Hello ...just popped in on a return match so to speak ...have been having a good read all down your blogs. Lots to think about...I think you enjoy people watching as a hobby?

Maggie May said...

softinthehead ...... I agree entirely.

motherofthislot .......... I've always got my ears pinned back for a good tale, but this one came to me handed on a plate!

snailbeachshepherdess ... You guessed right about the people watching.I find it fascinating. Other people might call it something else not very nice!

GoneBackSouth said...

That does sound very sad. But if you believe in karma, you start feeling a bit better ... the nasty moo will get her come-uppance in the end! That's not much help for the old lady though :-(

Sweet Irene said...

That's a very sad story to have a complete stranger tell you, but it shows what damage people can inflict on other people, especially those they are supposed to be most loyal to.

It is a very sad story with no happy ending and it will never be put right.

It is astonishing what we, ordinary people, must go through in our ordinary lives, and such emotional pain we must sometimes endure.

I suppose it is a good thing to leave a will and very clear instructions on what is to happen when you are in the same position as that old woman was. I only have one daughter, so I don't risk any of that sort of conflict. It is important to have everything stated very clearly beforehand, though.

Sometimes you can't comfort people, because their sadness is too great, but you are left with your feelings about it and then you write them down in your blog and you get feedback from other people and that is the good thing about it.

Maggie May said...

Gonebacksouth ....... yes, What goes around, comes around!

Sweet Irene ..... thanks for that. You give very thoughtful answers & have insight into other people's problems.

Jules said...

That is a very sad story. But for every sad tale and horrid person you might hear about, hopefully there are many, many more people with beautiful souls. :)

Just Because

Anonymous said...

I just wonder why people let this happen
Surely there were signs that the sister was making moves. Why not get legal advice at that point.It could have saved the old lady a miserable end.Is it that we are just not good at spotting these things or is it just inertia,or can we not yet take in what family can do to each other.

Maggie May said...

Hi Jules .. yes you are right! However they do not always come your way, the good things, when some one wants to off load!
Glad you visited me. Thanks for that.

Valleysmam ........ you would have thought it could have been stopped some how. Maybe it did the lady good just talking about it.

A Mother's Place is in the Wrong said...

Dear Maggie, what a very sad story. It makes me think that we should always keep our families close - nothing should ever be allowed to get that bad - easy to say I suppose. Thank you for visiting me again, it's always appreciated. Margot x.

Anonymous said...

hi Maggie - I am sure speaking to you really helped. Its so sad really that there isnt somewhere people can just do that - how many people still have best friends, or a GP with time for them.
Its a gift you have that people feel they can talk to you.

Maggie May said...

Mothersplace .......... yes, we should always keep our families close.

Vallesmam ... Its amazing who you meet & what you hear in a city!

Sweet Irene said...

Ah, Maggie May, if only you knew how much I enjoy reading your wise posts and how much I wish you would write more often in that serene wisdom of yours. Yours is one of my favorite blogs, but I can't tell you that on my own blog, of course, People would become jealous. I have only recently discovered you, but I am happy that I have, and must add you to my blog roll, if I haven't done so already.

Maggie May said...

You are indeed sweet, like your name! Thank you!

Sniz said...

This story is so upsetting. I hear about families treating each other terribly so often and I just don't get it.

elizabethm said...

Very sad. I don't like to think that people can treat each other like this. let's hope she felt better for telling her story. Mind you if anyone tried to keep me from seeing my mum I would chop the door down and I am peaceable type!

david mcmahon said...

I think they unburden themselves because you look like a caring person.

Maggie May said...

Sniz......... no, Can't understand why families can act like that.

Elizabethm ........yes, I would have kicked the door down to see my Mum too!

David M............ ahhhh! That's kind of you!

Dusty Spider said...

What a sad tale (beautifully told though). Mental note never to let a rift like that get a hold in my family!