Wednesday, 22 September 2010

Changing Moods and Skies.

Photos Copyright: Maggie May

Sometimes it is good to get away from everybody and go off somewhere on my own.
I haven't a lot of choice about where to go, but last week I hopped onto a bus (using my free pass), and took the hour long journey to my local sea side. It is the easiest place to get to by bus as they run frequently during the day time.
A visit there, always makes me feel better, somehow and is the place where I am able to recharge my batteries ready to face the world again.

You can tell that the sea and sky have moods just like we all do. This outing started off as a pleasant day. A typical, warm Autumnal day and the sea was in, which is quite unusual, as chances are that it could be miles out of view on any given visit. Unless you study the tide times, which I don't.
The new pier, which isn't yet open, looked good against a calm, lonely sea. Not many people were here at this time of the year, as schools are back and it was a weekday.

In the space of half and hour or so, the sky looked threatening and overcast.
A bit like my mood can turn sometimes.

I had a lot on my mind.
Waiting for my recent CT scan results. Knowing that as my hair re grows, so might my cancer be re growing too because I have been warned that at some point it will probably come back. It is a question of how long away in the future. No one can tell.
Every ache or pain that I have, might be something sinister. It is not an easy place to be. However I do realise that I am living on borrowed time and I am grateful to be alive now and to be given this second chance.
The illness that my husband has and the uncertainty of when he will be starting chemo is very much on my mind too. Then there are so many other things that I want to blog about but can't for obvious reasons.
So I do have real cause to be down some days and it wouldn't be human not to feel this way.

The situation with the darkening sky seemed to get worse and I moved for cover before the first droplets of rain came down. It didn't last long though and the sun came out again eventually, just as my mood changed too.
I ate an ice-cream, looked round the shops.
There is an immense sense of freedom as I do these things and choose where I will go and what I will do.
I always feel better after an outing on my own and my mood always lifts.
After all, everything is in the hands of God. I cannot do anything about these things, so it is silly to dwell on them.

I am pleased to say, that my CT scan showed no sign of disease, so that has made me really happy and I can forget about it for another three months at least.


ChrisB said...

So thrilled for you! Hugs x

Brian Miller said...

yay. glad to hear about the CT scan....and you are is out of our hands...though the one who does control it loves to listen...

Akelamalu said...

I am so thrilled for you on the results of your CT scan. You have so much to cope with but, I have to say, you seem remarkably upbeat considering all this. I wish you well and just wanted you to know that I include you and your husband when I'm sending Reiki. You are in my prayers.

Keep your chin up m'dear. xx

Helen said...

Whooooosh ... that's me giving a huge sigh of relief!!!

Celia said...

Goodie about the CT scan, what a relief..

Marguerite said...

Lovely outing and photos and wonderful news, too!

Bernie said...

What a wonderful outing you had my friend....I know that learning to live with the uncertainity of returning cancer is hard but look at you go, and what wonderful results from your scan. I do hope Hary is doing better, you both are in my heart and prayers....Hugs

Teacher's Pet said...

I felt at peace seeing your photos...reading your words...and then I got to the portion about your CT scan...and am now not only at peace...but beyond joy!!! I'm so thankful your scan showed no sign of cancer.
Love to you, Maggie.

Suburbia said...

So glad you showed no signs Maggie. Also glad you have had some time to yourself, so essential for a balanced mind.

Sorry there are things you can't say, thinking of you


Rose said...

Wonderful news on the CT scan! Maggie, throughout your illness and treatment you impressed me with your bravery and determination. Now I am inspired by your desire to live each day to the fullest. Trips like these to visit the seashore sound wonderful and the perfect way to recharge your batteries. None of us know what tomorrow may bring, so we might as well take advantage of today.

By the way, I'm always envious of all your trips to scenic places like this. But I realize it's a matter of geography--I live in the middle of the U.S. and would have to drive for two long days before I'd even reach the ocean!

Anonymous said...

Hello Maggie, can I be bold and offer absent healing to you?
I read about your troubles and am so sorry, but many do say my healing achieves incredible results. I have no idea, but if you'd like me to try for you and your husband, I would be only too pleased to.
If you wish to mail me privately, please feel free. No, there isn't a charge. EVER!
with love, Lorraine x

slommler said...

I am glad the scan was clear!! Woot!!! Woot!!!!
And you are so is in His hands and to worry does not add one cubit to our lives.
You are brave and wonderful!!
Hugging you

RiverPoet said...

Maggie - I'm really sorry it took me so long to get by your blog. With work and school, I seem to have little time for anything anymore.

But let me say I'm so glad to know that your scans came back clean. Cancer has touched so many people that I know in everyday life and in blog life. One of my son's friends - who is the same age my daughter would have been - is waiting for the pathology report on his testicular cancer even as I write this. I hate cancer. It robs people and families every day.

You, my dear, are a gem. We need people like you twirling 'round with us on Planet Earth. Hang in there, and do what you need to do to feel alive and hopeful.

I will always be praying for you and your husband. Peace - D

Anonymous said...

Great news about the CT scan. Sorry to hear about your husband though.

It's vital to spend time on our own.. and I do enjoy a dramatic sky.

secret agent woman said...

I do believe time by the water is healing. Some times I think its the uncertainty that's hardest.

mrsnesbitt said...

Oh I am so pleased all is well Maggie - you know this post really made me think! We have the sea on our doorstep - well 5 mins in the car and yet when it is cold or raining I do not go - yet I KNOW Freida would love it - so I am going to get myself sorted with some decent warm clothing and will make the journey every morning! yes I will take the camera! When I was teaching in Nottingham I missed the sea so much - this is the poem I read to my class frequently...

maggie and milly and molly and may went down to the beach(to play one day)

and maggie discovered a shell that sang so sweetly she couldn't remember her troubles,and

milly befriended a stranded star whose rays five languid fingers were;

and molly was chased by a horrible thing which raced sideways while blowing bubbles:and

may came home with a smooth round stone as small as a world and as large as alone.

For whatever we lose(like a you or a me) it's always ourselves we find in the sea

ee cummings

Chic Mama said...

That's great news...I hope you can relax for a bit with that knowledge. I love deserted beaches....lovely photos. X

Sniffles and Smiles said...

It is a terrible roller coaster ride, isn't it? Every three months...sigh. I love you, dear Maggie. And continue to keep you in my daily prayers!!! So glad that the report was good this time!!! Lovely, lovely photos...glad you could get away for a little while!!! ~Janine XO

Sniffles and Smiles said...

P.S. Praying for good news EVERY time!!!!!!! :-)) XO

Gail said...

Very good news about the scan Maggie. Love your pictures. Did you grow up by the seaside? I did, and find that when I need succour, I crave to be by the sea.

Hadriana's Treasures said...

Love the post, Maggie!

I feel better when I go outside too. I really hope your husband pulls through this as well. I can understand that there are things you cannot blog about.

If there is anything you feel that you might like to get off your chest feel free to e-mail me (my address is on my blog). I can't say that I can offer any solutions but I could listen.

There has been lots of stuff about which I've not blogged as they have been too close to the knuckle...

...but sometimes it is good to have a release mechanism...

Hugs Hadriana x

Nessa said...

It is natural to get down with the things you have on your mind. The sea in off season is calming to me also.

gaelikaa said...

I'm still praying for you, that you remain cancer-free. And you will...

Ayak said...

Brilliant news Maggie. Sending you much love as always xxx

Sue said...

I always like a rainy day at the beach. I'm glad your CT scan was clear. Hope your husband's treatment progresses well.

Nora said...

I missed this post, Maggie. I'm glad your CT scan was clear, but I'm sorry you always have that hanging over your head. It must be very nerve wrecking. It's a good thing that you do manage to keep your good moods in spite of everything. I bitch and complain on my blog, it's a shame that you can't do the same on yours.

Much love,

Mimi said...

Maggie, this is wonderful news.
Well done, you're a star!