Photos Copyright: Maggie May
Sometimes it is good to get away from everybody and go off somewhere on my own.
I haven't a lot of choice about where to go, but last week I hopped onto a bus (using my free pass), and took the hour long journey to my local sea side. It is the easiest place to get to by bus as they run frequently during the day time.
A visit there, always makes me feel better, somehow and is the place where I am able to recharge my batteries ready to face the world again.
You can tell that the sea and sky have moods just like we all do. This outing started off as a pleasant day. A typical, warm Autumnal day and the sea was in, which is quite unusual, as chances are that it could be miles out of view on any given visit. Unless you study the tide times, which I don't.
The new pier, which isn't yet open, looked good against a calm, lonely sea. Not many people were here at this time of the year, as schools are back and it was a weekday.
In the space of half and hour or so, the sky looked threatening and overcast.
A bit like my mood can turn sometimes.
I had a lot on my mind.
Waiting for my recent CT scan results. Knowing that as my hair re grows, so might my cancer be re growing too because I have been warned that at some point it will probably come back. It is a question of how long away in the future. No one can tell.
Every ache or pain that I have, might be something sinister. It is not an easy place to be. However I do realise that I am living on borrowed time and I am grateful to be alive now and to be given this second chance.
The illness that my husband has and the uncertainty of when he will be starting chemo is very much on my mind too. Then there are so many other things that I want to blog about but can't for obvious reasons.
So I do have real cause to be down some days and it wouldn't be human not to feel this way.
The situation with the darkening sky seemed to get worse and I moved for cover before the first droplets of rain came down. It didn't last long though and the sun came out again eventually, just as my mood changed too.
I ate an ice-cream, looked round the shops.
There is an immense sense of freedom as I do these things and choose where I will go and what I will do.
I always feel better after an outing on my own and my mood always lifts.
After all, everything is in the hands of God. I cannot do anything about these things, so it is silly to dwell on them.
I am pleased to say, that my CT scan showed no sign of disease, so that has made me really happy and I can forget about it for another three months at least.