Friday, 4 September 2015

Letting go.......


Schools went back this week and there is a distinct chilly feel to the mornings and the evenings are drawing in. I guess Autumn is on it's way and I only have very late summer flowers struggling to bloom in the garden now. It's not my most favourite of times.

Harry is still with us but is very much weaker. I go most days to the nursing home but yesterday I went to Weston Super Mare on the bus and spent three hours in the cool sunshine by the sea. I walked from one end of the promenade to the other (which involved several miles) and then I walked back again.
There is a Banksy display at one end of the promenade in a disused open air swimming baths. I would have had to queue for hours to get in to see the street art and all the controversial paraphernalia that people either love or hate.
I would have liked to see it if I'd have had more time and am thinking of making an effort to get a ticket before it finishes in a few weeks time.
Google him if you'd like to find out more, but I know most people in Britain know all about him and will have their own opinions as to whether they want to see the exhibition or wouldn't touch it with a barge pole.

One of the positive things that has happened over the last few weeks is that I'm a Great Aunt for the second time running, as my niece gave birth to Rosa who looks so cute in the photos that I've seen. Those who follow my brother, Eddy Bluelights  blog will probably have seen the latest photos of her and brother Peter. 
They are at the beginning of their lives with the possibility of great things happening to them, while Harry is at the end of his...... but something keeps him strong enough to press on for more time.
I do hope that he is having positive things happening to him in his imagination. Occasionally he opens his eyes and says *Hello* with a smile and then falls back asleep again. He doesn't seem to remember much about who comes or goes. I very much miss the *old* Harry and often expect to see him with me when I wake from dozing in front of TV most evenings. I have a flash of disappointment when I see the empty chair.
Its not easy letting go.


19 comments:

Shammickite said...

Your comments about yor dear Harry make me very sad, it's so hard to watch a loved companion slowly disintegrate. My thoughts are with you. But I am happy that he is safe and comfortable and getting good care. One less worry for you to deal with. And I'm so glad you went to Weston, I'd LOVE to see Dismaland, Banksy is my hero! If you go, and I know that there are long lines waiting to get in, please take some photos, although there are lots of photos available on the internet.

Rose said...

Congratulations on your new great-niece! I'm glad you are taking some time for yourself, Maggie, and enjoying long walks and some adventures. I've seen some photos of Dismaland and think it would be fun just to see it in person. Letting go is not easy...I think of you and Harry often and send wishes for peace and comfort for both of you.

Gosia k said...

Maggie babies are always joy in each family. Take care. Love for your poor husband.

Eddie Bluelights said...

Very sad about Harry ~ he is a very good man . . . and it is awful seeing him suffer like that.

Yes at the opposite end of the spectrum of life we have a lovely little girl, Rosa in the family, and young Peter of course.

Thinking and praying . . . .love Eddie xx

Mary Gilmour said...

So glad you got to the sea. I love walking by it so much and living many many miles away from any salt water, I do so only rarely. The waves sometimes say to me "I am here. I am always here."
Also I am glad Harry is comfortable and that you are comfortable getting some time for yourself to recharge.
In eastern Ontario, autumn is wonderful. The biting bugs are gone, the leaves will soon be turning glorious shades of red and gold and the weather improves from hot and humid to cool and sometimes even sunny. I wish I could send you one of our brilliant fall days.
Yes, the dark days will shut us in soon enough, but I can only hope that friends and family will always be there.
Dismaland was described in our paper yesterday. Talk about WEIRD!

Jackie said...

I do wish I lived close to you, Maggie. I feel helpless, but please know that my heart and my prayers are always with you and with Harry.
To feel someone slipping away must be one of the loneliest feelings.
I hug you from here.... I send you much love.
Congratulations on the birth of beautiful Rosa. She joins a very handsome brother...and I know that they will bring much joy to their family.
Thinking of you, my friend.
Always....
Jackie

Beryl Ament said...

I suppose everyone quotes Ecclesiastes, but there truly is a time for everything under heaven. Rosa knows hers and when the time is right, so will Harry.

Wisewebwoman said...

I am happy to see you are taking care of yourself and celebrating the new arrival and walking by the sea.

It must be very difficult accompanying Harry on his final journey.

He is fortunate you walk beside him.

XO
WWW

Retired English Teacher said...

This is a most difficult time of life for you. Letting go is so hard. Blessings for the journey. Much love, too.

Wendy said...

Oh Maggie, a tough time! I remember those days when my David's life was drawing to a close sending me to the depths of sadness. Then the birth of a grandchild would make me burst with happiness! It's an emotional roller-coaster.

Nice that you could get away and sit in the healing sunshine. And walking too is good for the soul.
Sending warm thoughts and prayers your way as I know the "letting go" of a loved one is the hardest thing for us to do.

cheshire wife said...

Oh dear Maggie, this must be so difficult for you. The important thing is that Harry is comfortable and pain free. He will go when the time is right for him.

CWx

Gail said...

I am so sorry for your loss. Eddie told me.

May God bless all of you in this difficult time.

Jackie said...

I just left Eddie's blog (9/5/2015) and he told us that your dear Harry passed away.
I'm so sorry, Maggie.
I love you....and I wish I could be there to comfort you.
I will be in touch with you, and my prayers are for peace and comfort for you.
Your Harry was a wonderful man.
Love to you,
Jackie

Bernie said...

0h Maggie I am so sorry for your loss. I know you knew it was coming but it would still be a shock when you heard. He is at peace now Maggie, no more pain. Be strong sweet lady and know you will be reunited in time. Big Hugs, xo

Shammickite said...

Just catching up and I see you have had bad news. So sorry.

Beryl Ament said...

So sorry for the loss of your dear Harry. My prayers are with you. You must be so lost right now, but it looks like there are many praying for you and hopefully helping out.

Mickle in NZ said...

Sending so much love and care to you, most dearest Maggie, and to Harry, your Debs and your Sam,

More love soon, Michelle XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

aims said...

Dearest Maggie. I heard the news this morning from our friend Mickle. My heart and thoughts are with you. I read Eddie's blog post first before coming here and it is with tears that I am typing this. Know that you are thought of often and loved very much by many. XOXOXO

Mickle in NZ said...

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Dearest Maggie - I left the room for a very brief while ..... The above is the message little round Megs typed for you. I have no idea as to what she was communicating. Please know that we send love and care to you, and all the family, so very much,

Michelle xxx