Sunday, 23 May 2010

Playground Mentality

Photo Copyright: Maggie May

This is not cause for excitement. I haven't had a rapid hair regrowth.
This photo was taken deliberately with messed up hair ages ago, as I wanted to illustrate a post about a bad hair day. It is somewhere in the archives if you want to look it up.

While I had the children with me last week, Amber the oldest, was sitting snuggling up to me and she had put her hand under my headscarf and she remarked about my hair growing again. I let her see the new growth. It is mostly white and fine like baby hair. If I run my hand over the scalp, then it feels quite prolific. Most of it is very short and, maybe under half an inch. However, there are rogue hairs about an inch long, every now and then. They stand up tall like a plant sucker does.... reaching for the sun. Some are darker coloured.
I had been wearing a cotton head scarf as we are now in the throws of a heatwave in England and I had never realised before how one's head can get so easily over -heated and sweaty in Summer weather, as well as painfully cold in the Winter.
Our hair seems to moderate the amount of heat we need in just the right way.
I had taken mine for granted before and it wasn't until I lost it all that I realised this.
So don't worry about bad hair days. If you have hair, then enjoy it and be glad.

Anyway, when I put the scarf back on, Amber said, *Granny, you are only wearing a hanky. Aren't you scared it will fall off and everyone will think you are bald and make fun?*

*Do you really think people would do that?* I asked
*I am still the same person that I always have been and if people liked me with hair, then they would probably still like me without. Don't you think that they would realise that I was having chemo even before the scarf fell off? Surely they would think I was brave for still going out.*

I went on to explain that if a person did laugh (and I suppose that there are people who might), then they were not really friends at all or very nice people and that it is silly to laugh because no one knows if it might happen to them one day when they are old.
I have got to be careful not to worry them about getting cancer as children. That must be devastating. They think it just happens to older people and that is how I intend to leave it.

Sam is back now and has taken the girls home. I have been terribly ill with this wretched bug that I caught off Granddad. He is much improved but still taking it easy. I think it is years since we both felt so ill. Even compared to chemo.
I am going to Oncology on Wednesday, so will ask about what I am dealing with. Is it really a virus? Or is it something worse? You see, I am thinking about those rogue hairs, galloping away faster than the others.
Why was I born with a questioning mind? It works against you at times.


Akelamalu said...

You sound like me - no matter what you need to know what you're dealing with, then you can deal with it. Keeping everything crossed for your oncology appointment and still send you Reiki. x

Twain12 said...

hope you feel better soon ♥

Eddie Bluelights said...

I think under the circumstances we all would have questioning minds and I loved the way you handled the talk with Amber.
Sorry about Harry and you being unwell - a lot of bugs about right now.
Up to our necks here in home improvements! No peace for the wicked!!

kkrige said...

I love that you choose to talk to the children frankly about your cancer and its effects. Ultimately it is better for them to understand true facts, rather than make up their own stories about what is going on. We all have vivid imaginations and their's can run amok without proper facts (was it my fault? it is a real fear for some kids). Try to relax as best you can and take care of you while you are feeling crappy. Wednesday will come soon enough and can be dealt with then. Warm thoughts to you.

Jeni said...

Uh Maggie -if you didn't have that questioning mind, where would you be? You might have not made the choice to investigate what was going on with your system and from that, learned about the cancer,then the chemo nor would you have been able to cope or contend with all the various things that have come your way since then or even before that too. A questioning mind is a darned good thing because it means you are inquisitive and always seeking to learn more and more!

Dimple said...

Hi Maggie,
I think it is good to be truthful and tactful, as you have been with your grandchildren. And, as you said, to be thankful for what we have. It seems that often when some things are not the way I would have them, I forget that anything is going right. I doubt it is a good thing, but I have to work to avoid it.
Blessings on you today, and I'm glad your hair is growing back. That makes it a good hair day!

Frau said...

Yes it does! But you are a questioner for a reason. Hair or no hair you are beautiful and so not scary.

She Writes said...

I am tortured by a questioning mind myself! I hope you get to feeling better!

Brenda said...

My hair grew back all the same length and baby soft. It also grew back a different color than I had had before. Kind of strange, and curly. I'm kind enjoying the new style I have.

I hope you get your questions answered. Then please post about it and let us all know!

Joey said...

Praying for you... thank you for sharing your journey.

I feel as if I'm sitting right with you.

Mimi said...

Hi Maggie, I was thinking about you earlier today, and how much I've learned from you, so I echo what Joey said- thank you for sharing your journey.
I'd be questioning every sniffle too- must beworrying after what you've been through.
Best of luck for Wed- I'll be sending you Reiki too. m x

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
slommler said...

It is good to help the children understand without alarming them. You did very well.
Yes our questioning minds can plague us at times.
May your doc visit go pleasantly and that you hear good news.

RNSANE said...

Well, Maggie, I will be the biggest pain should I ever have to go through what you have...they always say nurses make the worst patients! I will certainly have an adjustment, too, with losing my hair since, at 65, I still have it long. I know people think I should have it in some sort of short "do" but I like being able to put it up or to wear it in a pony tail or even to have pigtails like some Pocahantas.

I hope all continues to be good news and that you feel 100% before long.

Anonymous said...

We do take our hair for granted don't we. I'm sure you will be okay on Wednesday but a questioning mind is always a good thing to have in my opinion.

CJ xx

MarmiteToasty said...

I could always come up with me magic marker and draw curls all over ya head :)


Rose said...

Oh, Maggie, your granddaughters are so lucky to have a caring grandmother like you who is teaching them such important values. If only all children could be taught the same kind of compassion at a young age, this world would be a much better place. And you have taught me something, too--from now on, when I get disgusted with my hair (which is often) I will remember to be thankful I HAVE hair!

I hope you are feeling better soon--it doesn't seem fair that you have to fight this bug after all that you have been through.

lakeviewer said...

Oh, you're handling lots of stuff. Take care of yourself, dear Maggie.

Anonymous said...

You handled your granddaughters question very well, as of course you would. You know that hair grows at different speeds, think cowlick. Could be that some did not completely disappear and other parts reacted worse to the chemo. Either way, come back it will, though it won't alter a jot as your beauty shines through your eyes. I've never seen them but I'd bet it does.

Ayak said...

Wishing you good luck for the Wednesday appointment. Will be thinking of you Maggie.
Love Linda xx

Deb said...

Hi Maggie ~ I have been thinking about you lots lately. I had to take a mini-blogging break since I got sick with a horrid virus and also have been taking care of my dad. But now I am back ~ sending you well wishes. And I will never complain about my thinning hair again! Hope you feel better soon.

Sniffles and Smiles said...

Of course you want to know!!!! I would too!!! I'll be praying for nothing but good news...And I laughed when I read about your new appreciation for hair...laughed because that is TOTALLY how I feel!!!!!!!!!! Oh, my goodness...Even the worst hair is better than no hair at all...Every day I get up and comb my hair, I thank God for it!!! Love having hair!!!! And your hair will come in nicer than it was before...shinier and probably thicker...You'll love it...Anyway, you are much in my thoughts...Love you!!! Janine XOXO

Midlife Jobhunter said...

Questioning minds are good when taking care of one's health. I wish for a good report come Wednesday. Feel better.

Anonymous said...

OH, hope you knock that rogue bug on the head immediately.

Your hair looks good - mine looks like that most mornings.

Nora said...

You have an inquiring mind and want to be ready for the worst, even if it isn't going to happen. Please believe in the best possible scenario. I hope your appointment will go well and that they will tell you that you just have a nasty virus. I need to believe that too.


Marguerite said...

So glad that your hair is growing back! My friend's hair grew back red and she was a blond, before chemo. So sorry you're feeling so ill, but it's probably just because your immune system is still weak and unable to fight the virus. You are in my thoughts and prayers, each day. Blessings, Marguerite

ethelmaepotter! said...

Stopping by to say thanks for visiting my blog and your sweet comments.

What a wonderful spirit you have! And I love your inquisitive mind - if not for inquisitive minds like yours, we would still be living in caves and charging herds of buffalo for our dinner.

"...don't worry about bad hair days. If you have hair, then enjoy it and be glad." How true! I sometimes have to remind myself of this when I complain about my feet or knee or hands, then remember all the people who WISH they possessed those essential parts.

We could all learn from you - the way you describe to Amber the reality of cancer and people's attitudes without frightening her is nothing short of inspiring. I will carry those words with me always.

Hoping for the very best for you.

All my love,

Brian Miller said...

a tender moment there with the little one and good job turning into a life lesson that she will carry with her...

Suburbia said...

I am sorry to hear you have caught a bug. I know there is a nasty D&V one going around. Thinking of you today. Let us know how it goes?



Working Mum said...

Hope everything went well today. You handled your granddaughters beautifully; so many people don't give children information and that makes them more scared than they should be.

My hairdresser tells me that hair grows at different rates for everyone and that every seven years or so we have a completely new set of hairs that could be a different colour or texture. So it happens anyway regardless of chemo, we just don't notice because it's a gradual thing. You notice it more with children who have completely different hair at newborn, seven and fourteen.

Mean Mom said...

I was so sorry to read about your problems, some months ago, but I've been unable to comment on your site since we had a new computer. It has caused me big problems with most things connected with Blogger. I'm on a borrowed computer at the moment.

Anyway, just wanted to say that I'm glad you're OK and I hope that it was just the virus making you feel unwell. You will worry, of course, as we all would in your position. I hope that your hospital visit went OK, too. I think of you often and wish you well now and for always.

Hilary said...

You're such a good grandma and gave those kidlets the right answers and probably just about the right amount of information. I hope you're feeling better soon, Maggie.