Wednesday, 2 December 2009

Diagnosis

Photo copyright: Maggie May


I have come back from the hospital after a three hour wait for the results of the scan.

My chemotherapy will start in two weeks time.
I will have to have two different chemicals dripped into my body over a period of four hours. This will be repeated every three weeks until six sessions have been completed. Half way through, I will have a scan to see if the tumours are shrivelling. Yes....... they found two more tiny ones behind my stomach.

I will lose my hair, eyelashes and eyebrows as well as any other hair that might be lurking about.
Strange thing is...... they still don't know where this cancer has come from and probably never will. I have probably not had it long. It is unusual for this to happen, but then I am an extraordinary person.

I cannot work in a school because my immune system will get very low. I must also not be in charge of the grandchildren as I will not feel well enough. That will be a blow to my family but cannot be helped. I am fighting for my life here so need to only think of myself.
If all goes well I will be in remission by May.

I hope you will all bear with me if I don't comment as much after the next two weeks. It will all depend on how I feel.
I will live from day to day and as I said before, I don't want this to be a cancer blog. I hope to be able to write about other things too.






49 comments:

Rose said...

I came to see your "Reflections" post and found that you had just posted this. I am so sorry that you have to go through this ordeal, Maggie, but at least the wait is over. I'm sure it won't be an easy journey, but I hope you get that fighting spirit back to beat this thing.

Don't apologize for not commenting on others' posts; we all just want you to get well. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

Rose

Frau said...

Maggie all my best for you, prayers and thoughts during this time.

Akelamalu said...

I'm so sorry to hear this diagnosis m'dear but keep positive as that will definitely help your recovery.

I will keep you in my prayers, send positive thoughts and Reiki daily. Don't worry about visiting or posting just concentrate on getting well. xxxx

Hilary said...

Love and hugs to you, Maggie. You look after yourself and don't worry about any other obligations.. perceived or otherwise. I'm very much looking forward to reading your officially in remission post. You remain in my very best thoughts, my friend.

Sniffles and Smiles said...

Dearest Maggie, Thank goodness that they are at least starting the therapy...and you have a plan to move forward...that must feel good...but I know you must dread the treatments...who wouldn't??? We will all completely understand about the commenting...do no even give that a second thought...And I will be in much prayer for you before and during your chemo...and pray for your well-being and comfort throughout...you know I know...and will pray daily!!!!! I wish I could give you a hug today...but a cyber one will have to do...Love you so much...my heart is with you!!!!! And wish I lived closer so I could help out...but I will pray...of that you can be sure!!! Love you, Janine XO

Chic Mama said...

Life can be crap at times, not only do you have to deal with this but your whole lifestyle changes because of it. I'm sorry.
My fingers are crossed that you won't be too debilitated by the chemo.
Build yourself up now and take care.

softinthehead said...

I will be thinking of you and sending you positive thoughts Maggie, Stay strong :)

Dimple said...

I'm glad you now know the answers to some of your questions and have a plan to work to. Don't worry about visiting any of us or feel like you must comment. If doing something brings you joy, do it. If you are tired, take a nap. Blessings of health to you today!

Thumbelina said...

You are right to put your needs first at the moment. My love and prayers are with you, and of course as many hugs as you can cope with.
You will initially feel drained after the chemo, and after a few days you will start to pick up. Each session will drain you but you will pick up better and faster each time. It DOES get easier, not easy but easier, and it IS manageable, as long as you take it easy. Get home, feet up, rest awhile. Take your time.

We'll pop in and see you here. We know where to find you. :)
Dear Maggie. xoxoxox

Valleys Mam said...

Fight the good fight maggie
You will beat this as u said u are special xxxx

Suburbia said...

At last the waiting is over, mind you 3 hours to wait in the hospital must have been excruciating:(

I guess it is good too that you have not had it long. My thoughts are with you.

My friends MIL had this sort of treatment and the effects weren't as bad as expected. She has recovered well.I hope very much that it will be the same for you.

Roll on the spring, the light nights, and a sunny chair to sit on as you look back at these dark days and can breath easy again. That is all I will wish for you Maggie.

Take care of yourself.

Sx

Wendy said...

Dear Maggie,
It must feel weird to be putting yourself first. As mothers and then grandmas, we tend to look after and nurture our families first. So, now it's your turn to be looked after. Joining the others in sending you lots and lots of healing thoughts and prayers. With all of our hearts, we wish you well on this journey you are undertaking. Just remember you're not alone. We are here with you.

Looking ahead to May, when flowers bloom once more and you will be feeling your old, happy, energetic self once more.
Hugs

Moannie said...

sounds like you are in good hands and I shall be thinking of you and for you Maggie...lots of virtual hugs for you.....

Moannie said...

sorry, its not Moanne, it is

Saz aka FFF...


moannie is in hosp as you know...

cheshire wife said...

The waiting is over which must be a relief of some sort, but I know that the diagnosis is not what you hoped for. Stay positive and keep blogging. May is only six months away and will soon come round. I shall be thinking about you.

CWx

Mimi said...

Maggie, we don't mind at all if you don't comment, we just want you to get better!
At least now the waiting is over and the treatment begins.You're right to take it as easy as you possibly can, and give your body time and energy to heal.
That is all tha matters now. Mimi x

Teacher's Pet said...

Maggie...I hold you close, my friend...hold you real close. You take care of you....and know that you are in each thought and prayer that I have. I look forward to the remission date in May. I have tears as I type...wishing there was something more I could say or do...but knowing that you are going to take care of you and that you are going to begin treatment soon is the beginning of getting you into remission. I love you, Maggie.

Marguerite said...

So sorry to hear about your diagnosis and the challenge that you are facing. But you are right, you are an extraordinary person, and I will be praying that all will go well. Blessings and Hugs, Marguerite

Eddie Bluelights said...

Spoke to you tonight by phone and was really impressed by your very positive attitude which will help you a lot in this battle. I am pleased at long last they are starting the treatment but understand why they had to make sure of the correct treatment first. Maria and I are there for you whenever you need it.
It is comforting that so many of our close mutual bloggy friends are praying and wishing you well. I've just seen at least three of my very best friends and I am so happy they love you too.
God Bless ~ Eddie xx

Mary G said...

Sending you blessings and hope that the chemo will work perfectly for you and you will be well and all things will be well.
And post when you can. If not, know I am happy to wait and hope with you.

Nana Trish is Living the Dream said...

I am praying for you Maggie. I wish I weren't so far away. I would love to be able to sit with you and we could talk and crochet and sing even. Please know your friends want you to take very good care of yourself. You seem feisty and that's a good thing. Know we are here for you. love ya, Trish

Expat mum said...

Sweetness - you WILL be in remission in May. If you don't feel like blogging, just post your lovely comments from to time and we'll know you're there.

Expat mum said...

OR, you could post a simple question or thought every once in a while and we could chime in.

Bernie said...

Oh Maggie, my heart is heavy for you right now but I am happy that they are beginning the treatment. Maggie I wasn't sick with chemo my first time at all, it does accumulate in the system as you go through your six sessions...you will make it through this Maggie, and your hair will grow back and the sun will shine again....keeping you and your husband in my thoughts and prayers always....:-) Hugs

Jeni said...

Some may thing this sounds strange but I am happy as well as relieved to read this post. Not happy over the reason behind your post, obviously, but I am happy -and relieved -to hear you finally have some news and a timetable set up for your treatments to begin. And that, right now, has been the important thing -to know WHEN you will start on this road. Don't worry about visiting and commenting unless you are feeling up to it and then, don't overdo it. Take the chemo and deal with that and the ramifications it brings. Not pleasant, for sure, but a necessity and in times of need, we all usually do surprise ourselves (and others too) as to what we can do and the strength we can manage to somehow muster up as well!
If at any time you don't feel up to reading and commenting but want to talk and if you feel up to that, e-mail me -or set up a Facebook account for yourself for the chat feature. (Also Facebook is sometimes a mini-blogging method, of sorts. Enough to give a dabble of information without the worry of the work involved in a blog post and all the side readings that go with that as well.
At any rate, you will be in my thoughts, my prayers, that come next spring/summer, you'll be on the flip side of this and regaining your strength and vitality.
Peace my friend and swift healing to you.

Ayak said...

Onwards and upwards Maggie. Your fighting spirit will get you through this difficult time.
You're always in my thoughts. Concentrate on yourself now and on getting well. ((xx))

gaelikaa said...

Not everyone loses their hair in chemo Maggie. My mother didn't. But even if....just take it one day at a time. We're all here with you. May those tumours shrivel up and die. Just curse them in Jesus' name!

Lindsay said...

Glad that awful wait is over Maggie.

aims said...

I am with you my friend. Every step of the way.

Positive positive positive.

(what would be my comment if I didn't say those three words to you?)

xo
aims

Retiredandcrazy said...

You are strong Maggie and I'm sure you will overcome this dreadful thing. You sure will get massive support from your blogging friends and this will hold you up.

Nessa said...

You are in my prayers. Please focus on yourself.

Name That Christmas Song

Sandi McBride said...

Our prayers continue to support you. Just take care of yourself, think of yourself, be kind to yourself...hugs
Sandi

Suldog said...

I'll say a prayer for you as soon as this posts.

Keep your spirits up, in whatever way you're able. Optimists have a much higher rate of remission :-)

Beryl Ament said...

Best wishes and prayers from Detroit. What an exciting world when your readers can link their virtual hands in many towns, cities and countries.

Lakeland Jo said...

sending prayers and positive thoughts to you

Guineapigmum said...

SO sorry to hear this Maggie - good luck with it. Your hair WILL grow back and you won't necessarily be sick. I wasn't with mine. It's 18 months since my chemo finished and it already seems like a lifetime ago.

imbeingheldhostage said...

MY best thoughts and prayers are going out to you Maggie!!

Crystal Jigsaw said...

Sweet Maggie. You know I am thinking about you. You do need to think about yourself and beat this. We are with you every step of the way.

My love to you. CJ xx

Thumbelina said...

Still thinking of you.
Still praying.

Still loving you to life.

((((((( Maggie )))))))

Brian Miller said...

praying strength and healing for you...i too look forward to the remission post.

Sarah Lulu said...

Sending you much love and light and healing prayers. xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

VioletSky said...

the good news is that it was found early.
be good to yourself first - and let others take care of you.

we'll all be here for when you need a distraction!

Betty said...

I just came over to your blog for the first time. Thank you for your nice comment on mine.
You have a hard way ahead of you and I will be praying for you. I think you´re doing the right thing by focusing "on you" and hope that you have the strength for this journey. I have another friend Brenda, who is going through breast cancer treatment. She is an inspiring lady. If you´re interested check out her blog at
http://www.brendasblogfromparaguay.com/

Working Mum said...

So sorry about your family and work, but as you rightly say, it is time to think of you. I hope it isn't too traumatic and that you find strength from your lovely family to fight this. Thinking of you. WM x

Life with Kaishon said...

Praying. Praying. Praying.

You don't have to comment at all. Just focus on getting well! I know you will miss your grandchildren and the school. God will walk you thru this. And when you come out you will be stronger! And your testimony will be greater. I just know it!

Brenda said...

So sorry to hear about your diagnosis. Cancer is such a difficult thing and chemo is very hard to go through. Fortunately there are many medications that help with the side effects and, even though you lose all of your hair, it does come back. And there are so many lovely scarves and hats that you can use.

I would encourage you to get a wig before you start losing your hair. I did not wear mine a lot, but it was nice to have for certain occasions. Keep us posted on your progress.

Praying for you.

Jo said...

I just stumbled upon your blog today. I am a firm believer in the power of prayer. I can see you have a lot of people praying for you. Your have a bit of a tough journey ahead of you, but I have a feeling you are going to come out the other end of it just fine. Concentrate on yourself.

Carol said...

Dear Maggie...Know there are many people praying for you...including ME~

Doris said...

Maggie, my dear, I am so sorry to know that you are going to be going through chemo and will be battling for your life. I'm SO sorry. Please know that you will be in my prayers.

Peace - D