A few days ago I wrote about my daughter coming to visit unexpectedly to escape for a while from a husband whose behaviour seemed to be changing for the worse by the minute. Even when she had travelled for six hours (there was a big hold up on the motorway) to get here, he phoned and asked her to get the doctor for a home visit because he had a headache and was being sick. It looked at the time like he was making her pay for leaving him for a few days. There is a full account in my post. Click here.
Well, at the time that she was here, I felt a bit torn between two feelings. First that Deb is my daughter and is being put down all the time, by husband's critical and increasingly aggressive behaviour and that he is acting in a more and more bizarre way. So I was naturally annoyed with him for making her unhappy. Secondly, there was a niggling feeling that he might be seriously ill.
Now she has rung in a terrible state telling me he has been rushed to hospital with a suspected brain tumour. He has had a temporary scan that shows a "mass" and he will need to be transfered to a hospital that will be 20 miles from where they live for further scans, a biopsy and to see whether it is operable or not. This is further complicated by the fact the car that she had repaired while staying with us, has now broken down again. The alternator that the garage here put in has let her down and she has to pay for a new one. The garage here, says that they would need to see it & test it before they could do a refund. That is the end, really it is.
This post is a rant at life's unfairness, as Harry is already battling with cancer & the treatment has left him grumpy! I feel it is a release to just get this off my chest!
Deb lives 200 miles away and has 2 kids and does child minding that she finds difficult while she is so distraught, but has to continue with as they have a mortgage.
I have just committed myself to look after the 2 girls while Sam works two days a week and his wife already has a high powered job in another town 30 miles away!
I must keep my two jobs going as at 65, I would not get other employment if I let these go. The thing is, we all need the money from these jobs to pay our way and now I feel I just want to be with Deb & to put my arms around her and not just have the two of us crying down the phone all the time.
I know we need to all keep calm and to go about our daily business while all this gets sorted...... but it is really hard and I'm really sorry I can't be my cheerful self just now.