Sunday, 21 June 2009

Young Love


I wonder if it is possible to feel true love at seven years old?

John, who is seven, was writing a letter at the table where I was helping children with craft work in the after school club where I work. As he was sitting right next to me, I could plainly see what he was writing:-

Dear Kellie,
I do not love you,
From John.

As I always try to get any of the children to put themselves into the other person's shoes and show empathy, I suggested it might be kinder not to send the letter in the first place and then the girl wouldn't have to know that the boy didn't love her.
John responded by producing a letter from Kellie who had announced her love for him. He told me he didn't love her back. I asked him if he could write that he liked her? He shook his head. I decided that enough was enough and went on to do something else.

Some time later, I saw that John had finished his letter and he showed it to me.

Dear Kellie,
I do not love you.
From John.
I do like you and want you for my friend.

I felt quite touched by the fact that John had taken notice of what I had said and spared the girl's feelings.

Yes..... it is possible to love someone and experience a broken heart at seven years old because it happened to me!
I used to meet Michael every summer holiday and play together everyday until he had to go back to school. He stayed with his Nan in the house next door to ours, but he lived in Liverpool which was twelve miles away and that seemed more like a hundred in those days. I lived for those summer holidays when we could be together again. We roamed around the countryside all day long and the days seemed to be always sunny and there were fields, wood stacks and hay ricks to play on.
Then, the inevitable thing happened....... my father's work was transferred to the south and I never saw Michael again. I grieved for several years.
Yes...... it is possible to have a deep love at seven years old...... a very innocent kind of deep love.




43 comments:

Valleys Mam said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Valleys Mam said...

How sweet is that,made me smile inside.

Thumbelina said...

Bonding is so important at that age (well at any age but it is more significant then) and I am so glad you said something to the boy and he added his ps. It will make a world of difference, to them both.

Cheryl said...

This is very uplifting and touching. He did listen to you and in his own way, was more sensitive to her feelings. Young love.....wouldn't want to go back there.LOL. I see this at school so much.
Have a wonderful Sunday.

Akelamalu said...

Oh that's so sweet!

Hilary said...

Your kindness taught that boy a life's lesson he'll never forgot. And it will make a huge difference for everyone he encounters. I can remember that kind of young love too.. similar circumstances as your own.. sigh! :)

The Green Stone Woman said...

Human beings of any age are capable of having deep feelings and heartache. It's not only teenage or adult territory. Children can form such strong attachments to each other that is like true love and should not be ridiculed as puppy love. It's an awful thing when grown ups don't take it seriously and laugh about it. Thank you for touching upon this subject, it's a very precious one.

Hugs,
Irene

Valerie said...

Awww that was lovely. The deep innocence of puppy love. Never had it myself lol

VioletSky said...

So touching. The literalness of children's views!
Yes, as Irene says, it is sad when adults don't take kids' feelings seriously.

and word verification: adament - very apropos, don't you think?

Nessa said...

How lovely that you both were able to spare the girl's feelings. She may be unhappy but not crushed.

Retiredandcrazy said...

I think that was a lovely thing you said Maggie. You may have saved that little girl from heartache.

My grandson fell in love on his first day at school. He confessed to me a couple of years later that everyone laughed at them for loving each other, so they told them they didn't love one another now. "But we really still do Nan". The inevitable happened though, they eventually moved and lost touch.

menopausaloldbag (MOB) said...

Oh I want to give that little girl in you a hug for all her sadness. It is a love - the heartbreak of seperation is all too real no matter what age you are.

Suburbia said...

Lovely post Maggie, great that he understood what you had said and acted on it.

So sad you lost your first love, I wonder what he's doing now?

Crystal Jigsaw said...

That was a lovely post, Maggie. We always say "kids don't know what love is" and words to that effect but you are so right. They know. I knew I loved someone when I was 13 - a difficult age I know but even to this day I have a place in my heart for him. I might even blog about him one day.

CJ xx

david mcmahon said...

Just WONDERFUL, Maggie.

Jeni said...

What a great way for you to pass on a way for that boy to learn and use empathy!
And love does happen at any age too. There was a boy in my class in school from first grade through 8th, then he went to a school for boys who had lost one or both parents for high school. He was my first "love." Not always a relationship that was reciprocated in that manner, but we grew up as friends and stayed that way until his death almost 21 years ago of cancer. Love-friendship, long-lasting of the latter there too and I still mourn his passing.

Rose said...

What a sweet story! I'm glad young John took your advice, and hopefully he will remember this lesson in kindness. Whether it's love or not, rejection at any age is heartbreaking.

Brian Miller said...

cute story. kids are so funny, yet their experiences are so real and they stay with the, thanks for stopping by and congrats on POTD.

vicki archer said...

Deep love can strike us at any age - so sweetly written, xv

Cheffie-Mom said...

This is so sweet, Maggie. My husband and I have known each other since the 5th grade. We rode our banana seat bicycles together! LOL! I came over from authorblog. Congrats on the Post of the Day Award!

Shadow said...

how sweet. and just because we don't know everything at 7, doesn't mean we don't feel it, right?!?!? congrats on your potd.

SandyCarlson said...

I remember those days. I was made to be in love with a boy when I was 6. The executive decision maker was my sister. I was not convinced of our love, but he was. How awkward!

I think little ones are too plainspoken for too much romance!

Bina said...

Love the little guys letter. How cute.

I, too, suffered a broken heart. It was the end of 2nd grade. Greg and I "dated" (LOL) and would hold hands on the playground. Never talked on the phone or anything.

Two weeks before school was over for the summer I was in an accident and didn't go back to school till the last day. My face was still scarred up and I still had damage on my arms and legs. Greg looked at me, said I looked funny and he wasn't my boyfriend anymore. I swear, I NEVER got over that. To this day, I think about it and what to show him that I do NOT look funny anymore!!!! LOL

Salute said...

How sweet and touchy.

Butternut Squash said...

I still feel horrible about my first love at 7. I bit his hand to win a game of tug-of-war. Oh the shame!

Very sweet story.

Reasons to be Cheerful 1,2,3 said...

How lovey - I'm all shivery!

Deb said...

Congrats on POTD. This post was so heartwarming on many levels...made me more than a tad teary. I think that adults do not give kids enough credit and would be wise to listen to them more often. Kids know how to listen to their hearts. I was glad to see that the little guy listened to your advice. Very sweet.

Robin said...

My first love left me when he went to Parochial school in first grade. sigh He didn't eve write me a letter.

cheshire wife said...

I, too, had my first boyfriend at seven, but now I cannot even remember his name. It can't have been real love.

Craig Glenn said...

Great story and lesson in life. Congrats on POTD.

Craig Glenn

Elizabeth Bradley said...

I came thanks to David's POTD. And I'm glad I did. What a tender story. You did aid that boy, but I'm afraid the little girl still had to suffer "a bit". I was in love with my cousin David when I was five. Needless to say I learned to love him but not to LOVE him. The grown-ups saw to that.

Eddie Bluelights said...

I was jilted at 4 - the awful girl went off with a younger todler! Obviously she wanted a toy boy!
Seriously, this was a great story and I do believe that kids as young as 6 or 7 can actually experience deep love, yet innocent love.
And many comgratualtions on POTD - it was a beaut. ~ Eddie

Ribbon said...

beautiful... yes i too remember my first broken heart at a very young age.

bet wishes
Ribbon

Ribbon said...

ooops meant to read best wishes as opposed to bet wishes

mmmmm could be interesting to bet on your wishes though ~ just a thought

:-) Ribbon

Expat mum said...

Aw, Mags. That breaks my heart. What about a Facebook search?
Anyway, you did so well in getting the wee man to think about the message he was sending. Good job!

Lisa said...

What a great story and what a nice little boy to consider the little girls feelings. Isn't nice to know you made a difference?

Lisa

♥ bfs - Mimi ♥ said...

Awwwwww..... here from David's. Great post! Congrats on a touching POTD!

The Things We Carried said...

Congrats on POTD. I loved this sweet post.

ArneA said...

Sweet letter.
Congrats with POTD winner. High quality to get this price

abeachcottage said...

very touching, has really made me think more about my little man...thanks

just surfed on in here, not sure from where, *smile, nice blog

Sarah

Casdok said...

Awww very sweet. And great that he listened to you.

® ♫ The Brit ♪ ® said...

Hi Maggie!
I'm back and I have missed you dear friend!
Wonderful post! and yes I agree that true love can be experienced at any age, of course some times that feeling that we get can be mistaken for real true love but there is no denying those feelings of butterflies in the stomach, thinking only of that person and not being able to eat anything for weeks: the utter pain and elation of being in love.
Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful!
Big Hugs Dear Friend,
Donnie

Unseen Rajasthan said...

This is so sweet !! Fantastic post..Really appreciate the love Story..Great..Unseen Rajasthan