Healing Time......

For the past few weeks I've been yo-yoing between good news, bad news, good news bad news.....

Its been a gruelling process of uncertainty.

However, I can now say that the biopsy did prove that *it* wasn't cancer and that it is fibrous tissue and a haematoma. 

My fractured hip will heal and the haematoma might be reabsorbed into my body in time or it might have to be removed at a later date. I'm having another scan in three months to see if it is going down.

I can live with that and feel now is the time to make a Fresh Start and to get on with my life.

I just need space to recover from all the trauma and worry and allow the healing process to begin.

Thanks for all your support during these difficult times.

Life Can Be a Bummer

Today I had my biopsy under local anaesthetic using an ultra sound scan.... the type used for scanning babies but in this case...... no baby.

It will be next Weds 28th before I get the results.

I'm trying to be positive but at the moment things are not looking too promising. I'm now in a lot of discomfort bordering on pain and all my comments from the last post, so far seem to be from  people really relieved that it isn't the return of cancer. However, in truth, it seems that cancer return will be the most likely outcome and I didn't feel I could read another comment that said, "Thank Goodness it isn't cancer".

All I know is that it isn't now likely to be a haematoma.

I've said it before and I'll say it again...... life can be a bummer.

Second Chance?

I feel it's about time that I wrote a post. I've been apathetic enough since Harry died.

You might have read about the wonderful send off that Harry had at his funeral on my brother Eddie's blog. He described everything in such detail that I really don't need to add to it except to say that it was a very happy occasion when all the grandchildren contributed in some way or other by a reading or playing an instrument. Everyone wore colourful clothes and he had all his favourite hymns, readings etc. 

There was very much an atmosphere that he'd been set free and had moved on to something much better. That is what we all believe.

However, I had my own secret torment going on because a few weeks before Harry died, I was beginning to experience some worrying symptoms and had got in touch with the Oncologist that had seen me through such a lot of treatment before. They took it quite seriously and thought I might well be relapsing into an other episode of cancer. An urgent CT scan was arranged and two days before the funeral I had the scan and couldn't help but worry what it might reveal.

The following week I was phoned up whilst out walking and told that two things had shown up on the scan. One was a stress fractured pelvis that was put down to radiation damage from four years previously. The other was an unknown *thing* that showed up in my lower quarters.

I was gutted and disappointed that I hadn't even had a chance to do anything that I wanted to do after Harry had died and now it seemed I'd be facing chemo or some horrible treatment in order to get a bit longer life.

As everyone will realise, I'd given my very all to him for well over eighteen months and not been able to have many days off or felt that I could relax because of the unpredictability of his illness.

Anyway, when I got to Oncology this week, I was told that it was most likely to be a haematoma caused by bleeding from another smaller fracture. I'm now waiting for a biopsy to confirm this and to see what can be done about the haematoma.

I was reassured that there was no sign of cancer on the scan anywhere on my body.

Although I am in some measure of discomfort and I also have to be very careful not to do anything that could break my pelvis or hip, I really do feel that I'm so lucky to be given another chance of life.