Three Year Old Rascals

Photo Copyright Maggie May

One of my regular Blogging friends emailed me recently to ask if I still have my rabbits because I hadn't mentioned them for a while. In view of that, I thought that I ought to do an update on them.

They are now three years old and are as much in love with each other as ever. They live in the house and apart from gnawing on the wood of their run and seriously undermining the strength of it, they don't get up to too much mischief.

Ash, the Netherland Dwarf, keeps himself fairly spruce and doesn't need much grooming. Lily, on the other hand, being long haired, does need brushing, detangling and an occasional trim round the hind quarters to keep her clean.

Several times a year, I need help with having their claws clipped and also when I need to take them to the vets for their yearly injection.

I keep telling myself that I have to stay well for them as there doesn't seem to be anyone who could look after them if I was too ill to do it.

Harry is plodding on with his chemo and will be undergoing number 9 this coming week. He will also be celebrating his 74th Birthday. He is often unwell but rarely complains.

I have recently had one of my three monthly examinations by my Oncology Consultant and he told me that he wasn't concerned and that I can go back in three months time, which will be in September. The hospital always stresses that if I have any new symptoms I must get in touch straight away. The possibility of that happening is something that I have to learn to live with. This Autumn it will be four years since I was told that I had secondary cancer which was quite a shock. 

The media recently stated that very soon, one in every two people will find that they need to be treated for cancer instead of the present one in three. I think it's because we are all living much longer and not dying of other things. However, a large proportion of those diagnosed, will be cured if caught early enough and an even larger proportion of those people will be treated and be able to live with the disease for a long time. In the meantime lets hope there will be a cure so that nobody has to suffer from it any more.

The warm weather seems to be holding out and I have been wearing more summery clothes. Long may it last.

Is it a.............Meerkat?

Photo Copyright: Maggie May

I was about to do a spot of cooking when I realised that the sweet potato looked like a mummified meerkat. I almost felt guilty peeling and chopping it! However, it tasted delicious in a chicken stew.

Since my last post, I've had quite a busy time. My daughter and grandsons came for a quick weekend visit, which was lovely.

I was taken to visit a Circus in the Cotswolds by my son and his intended wife and their three girls. My brother also came with us which added to the enjoyment of the afternoon.  

It was a delightful performance by mostly humans and no animal cruelty was involved because they used horses, which seemed to love the routine and a couple of hens and a goose who also seemed happy to take part. The Circus used classical music and played instruments superbly and the singers, whose voices could be heard all over the tent without the use of a microphone, were also extremely talented. There were high wire acts and the clown seemed to be of a very high calibre. I would describe it as a Classical Circus of high standard. All in all a great time was had by us all.

Since my last post, we have had a whole mix of different weather conditions. Fortunately the day we visited the circus was warm and dry. So maybe my idea to leave a post about a stormy day on the blog for a whole week, paid off. Sod's Law and all that. I wonder what the coming week has in store?

Stormy Weather.....

Whatever has happened to our May weather?

This is the second year running that the weather has turned cold and blustery during May.

 I remember that we have always had warm, sunny days during my Birthday month. The things that stick out in my childhood memories are short sleeved dresses, parties in the garden and endless warm sunshine. I'm sure that wasn't all imagined, was it?

Today is like Winter again, very cold and windy and trying to rain.

I'm hoping that if I leave this post on my blog all week, that things might change ...... you know, Sod's Law and all that. I'm looking at the sky, but it is still as grim as ever.

Today, I've had to wait in for a workman to measure up my bay window for new strong curtain railing. The present curtains are in danger of falling down from an inadequate plastic rail and brittle hooks.  The railing will be moulded to the exact size and shape of the bay and then it will be delivered and fitted and the curtains rehung. I have chosen a well known firm to do the job for me as we are unable to do work like that ourselves anymore. It will be good to have the curtains fixed and be able to pull them with no fear of them coming down on our heads. This is one of several jobs that I am going to have done this year.

I am also trying to clean up the house and clear away clutters. I am constantly ferrying unwanted items to Cancer related Charity shops.

I have been watching programmes on TV about real hoarders who have things piled from floor to ceiling in every room. Some of them can't use the kitchen or bathroom and can only get in and out of the house with great difficulty through narrow gaps in the rubbish and sometimes by climbing over the heaps and stacks of junk that is apparently very precious to the collectors. When I get fed up with what I think are my muddles...... I realise how ordinary they are compared to these hoarders.

A few sunny days would inspire me to tackle the clear up and that is before I start on the garden.

Everything is done in bite sized chunks in this house so as not to aggravate my dodgy back.

I'm now going to put on some warm layers and brave the icy blasts of wind and steady rain..... all for the sake of a bit of exercise that a brisk walk will provide. It helps my back to stay supple, so I've been informed. Maybe I don't do enough!

Sunshine And Flowers

Photo copyright: Maggie May

In my last post, I was feeling really sad and was hoping for a dry day for my sister in law's funeral. It was very cold for a day or two beforehand and it had rained some of the time but the day quite unexpectedly turned out to be not only dry, but sunny and warmish too, which was an added bonus, I thought.

The day was still sad, but I think the service was very moving and meaningful and lots of people attended, some of them I hadn't seen for a long time. There was a feeling of closeness and empathy. Gloria was laid to rest in a beautiful setting where it is tranquil and peaceful and calm. I think all those words have the same meaning but I like them and they describe the place well.

I think the whole experience was thought provoking for everyone who attended and we all came away having gained something.

My brother feels very up and down emotionally, which is quite normal for a grieving husband. Eddie wants everyone to know that when he feels up to it, he will start blogging again. Plenty of time for that later, I say. No need to rush.

I also was very blessed with a warm, sunny day on my Birthday and I was able to visit the seven local gardens and enjoy them in comfort and sit in a beautiful place eating cake and drinking tea. I did appreciate everything that happened that day and also the previous evening when some of the family got together for a meal and we spent a very happy time together. 

Families are very precious and I know that Eddie has found his son and daughter to be an immense comfort and help to him.

So to all the family, many thanks. You all know who you are.

Mixed Emotions

Photo copyright: Maggie May

The photo is of a family prayer circle when we all went to visit my mother's cremation plot some while ago.

Most of the near family are on the photo, except for my son, who was inside the huddle taking the picture. Gloria is on the top lefthand side, whereas I am on the bottom righthand side!

The coming week will be filled with mixed emotions because my sister in law is having her funeral and yet it will also be my Birthday week. I can remember how we all had a family celebratory meal last year to mark my 70th Birthday that I didn't even expect to get to and here we are, one year later and Gloria is not here anymore and we are attending her funeral.

I will not go into the details of why her funeral has taken so long after her death, except to say there had to be an autopsy because of the somewhat unexpected timing of it. However, it was found to be cancer related.

I bought a little shrub in memory of her and it has flowers all over it at the moment and I can look at it from my kitchen window and be reminded of her whenever I look out. 

It has gone cold again and the weather has been inclined to rain. I'm hoping that it will be dry on the day of the funeral as it is to be a burial in a lovely church yard where one of my relatives lies and many people who Gloria knew are there, too. Rain is very dismal at a funeral, I always think.

I'd like it to be dry on my Birthday, too, because I am visiting five local gardens that will be open to the public for a few hours. Last year I really enjoyed doing the same, when local gardens opened to everyone who wanted to view them. However, it is not quite so enjoyable traipsing around in the rain, though I intend to go, even if it is pouring.

Does anyone know the opposite of a rain dance?

Time and Tide

"Time and tide wait for no man", so the old proverb says.

It seems that most young people, (and that means anyone younger than me), are on a treadmill and don't have the time to visit (or even speak) these days.

If I phone, then most of them are about to go out, eat or are engrossed in some activity, usually to do with screens and tell me they are too busy to talk.

When they do visit, they are distracted, fiddling with their phones, listening but not really listening, if you know what I mean. However, mostly they decline to come in at all and just collect the thing they have come for and they say that they are running late and had to be somewhere else 10 minutes ago.

Was I really like this when I was their age? Maybe I was irritated by older folk slowing down but I seem to remember visiting friends of all age groups as well as parents and I did give them some undivided attention. Indeed, even today, my Sunday afternoons are spent visiting an elderly, infirm lady in her nineties who lives alone with a serious health problem and no family. Quite often, she is most disagreeable but sometimes a pleasure to be with. I go and visit her because I can imagine how it must be for her to have no family. She is old enough to be my mother and yet I regularly go and spend an hour with her. It doesn't seem unreasonable, does it?

Only older folk know what it is like to be in this position and they have empathy with one another.

Where has compassion gone to these days? Surely if people are that busy then they are too busy and they run the risk of serious health problems later on ..... or are we all meant to be living alone in our little boxes with only screens for company?

In Memory Of My Dear Sister In Law

Photo Copyright: Maggie May

My last post was filled with good news and now I have to announce that my lovely sister in law, Mrs Eddie Bluelights, who I have always referred to as Gloria in my blog, has passed away. I will leave my brother Eddie to fill in the details on his blog, when he feels up to it, but all I can say is that she was a very brave lady who fought (if that is the right word) breast cancer for a good many years. She was only 42 yrs old when she was first diagnosed and died aged 61.

I will miss her because she was my brother's wife and we loved her as a valued member of our family. I will miss her because we had some lovely regular meetings that I really looked forward to and I had hoped for many more.  I will miss her because she was kind and understanding and we talked most weekends on the phone. I will miss her because she was the very last person I knew, after my friend Pietra died last October from the very same thing, who really knew what it was like to experience the horror of the pain that cancer in a bone could cause. I could relate to her and she could relate to me. We knew what the awful disease could do and understood one another's anguish and pain. Now I am feeling very much alone. However, it must be a million times worse for Eddie and their two children and partners.

I hate cancer with a vengeance and I'm really hoping that there will be a cure, if not in my childrens' life spans then in my grandchildrens'.

I am grateful that Denise Nesbitt, another blogging friend, is going to be doing the Race For Life in June and that she is being sponsored for Cancer Research. This is the only way a cure is going to be found in the distant future, though much headway is being made in some cancer treatments.

I wish that I could do the Race For Life but I can hardly run for a bus these days!

On the day that I heard the sad news, which was not really expected to happen as quickly as it did, I was told that she was dying, early in the morning and I felt pretty much devastated because I had no time to do the one and a half hour journey to go to see her for the last time. Yet at the time of her death which was unknown to me then, I was filled with a kind of peace and felt protected from all hurt.

Life seemed to go on around me fairly normally. In fact I had the grand daughters here for breakfast.

When they had gone to school and I heard what had happened, I cried for hours until I could cry no more.

I noted that it was a sunny day and that things were already happening in the world that Gloria didn't know about. I was a survivor and she wasn't. I had to press on with what life dealt me, she didn't.

The only thing that brings any kind of comfort to me is that she had a firm Christian faith and that I know she has moved on to something much better.

I have been thinking of my mother a good deal lately and all the other people who have moved away through death and I really hope that they are all together.  I know that many non believers read this blog but I can only write things from my own perspective and I do respect other people's points of view. However, these are my experiences and feelings of the sad event and how I have coped with it to date. I know that grief never really leaves anyone but we have to learn how to cope with it and find some way with dealing with our feeling while being true to them and not suppressing them.