Thursday, 12 November 2009

The Results...

Photos copyright: Maggie May

I got this post prepared so that I could tell everyone some really good news after seeing my consultant this morning. I was going to title it *Everything Coming Up Roses*

However, every thing changed in the flash of an eyelid, when the consultant told me I had secondary cancer.

He said it was coming from the uterus. How the Hell could that be? I had a hysterectomy thirty years ago?
Just tell me how?
I feel like kicking doors down. I feel really upset....... too upset to write personal email. I am sorry about that. I will no doubt get over it.

So now...... wait for it......... I am having to go back on a waiting list to see a specialist in womens' problems (that I can't even spell.)
I might be hearing from them within two weeks. Two more weeks of Bloody Hell!
I assume then there will be tests and more waiting for scans & possible surgery. I seem to have gone right back to the start again. A bit like *snakes and ladders*. And all the time this thing inside me is spreading. I just want to start treatment. Is that too much to ask?

My lovely brother is going with me to the doctor this afternoon to push for some treatment.
Forgive me for my tantrum I don't intend this blog to end up as a cancer blog.

Please pray for me. I can't.






40 comments:

Teacher's Pet said...

Consider the prayers for you abundant, Maggie. I'm glad that your sweet brother is going with you to the doctor, and I hope that a push for quick treatment will be successful. I hold you and hug you...and love you.
Jackie

Chic Mama said...

You're more than entitled to want to kick down doors....
What then just kicks you in the teeth is the injustice of now waiting. I cannot understand why in this day and age people have to wait for an appointment for something as serious as this. I find it hard to believe that there are not enough resources to just get on with it.
I'm thinking of you. Take care.

cheshire wife said...

I am so sorry.

I thought that two weeks was the maximum wait when cancer is diagnosed and you are already in the system. Why can't they see you sooner?

Will be thinking about you and hoping that it has been caught in time.

CWx

Suburbia said...

Maggie I'm lost for words.I thought cancer treatment was a priority and that waiting was kept to a minimum?
I think I would feel like kicking down doors too and I would be screaming at everyone to get the damn thing out of me.

Be strong Maggie, you can do it. Fight it, you are such a strong woman and have supported your family so well. It's time for you to concentrate on you now, fight it hard.

I'm not the praying sort but all my thoughts and best wishes are with you.

Hugs Sx

Cheryl said...

You will be be in my prayers, all of the time.

You deserve the right to tantrum, it just is not fair. I'm glad your brother is going with you to the doctor and going to advocate for a quick treatment. You have done enough waiting, it is time for quick action and a treatment.

Sending you lots of cyber hugs and love. Wish I could do more. Just know that you are in my prayers and in my heart.
XOXOXO
Cheryl

Expat mum said...

Shit Maggie (excuse French). I think a loud tantrum from you and your brother is well in order. Perhaps there's a web site that can tell you how to "work the system"?

Sniffles and Smiles said...

Maggie,
I am so very, very sorry...You can yell, scream, cry!!! Not a single person in the world will blame you!!! And I will yell, scream, and cry with you!!! And I will pray for you because I know that at moments like these, we can't pray for ourselves!!! Oh, Maggie...I so wish there were more that I could do...please know that I love you, that my heart is breaking, and that I will not stop praying...Sending you many, many hugs...so glad that Eddie is going with you to your appointment...it is comforting to have a loved one with you...as well as very helpful to have a second set of ears and eyes!!!But oh, the wait!!!! That is outrageous!!!! It is simply cruel!!!! Pardon me while I kick and scream!!! And when I'm done, I promise to continue praying... Please know that I love you so very much!!! And that my heart is soooo with you!! Janine XOXO

Hilary said...

Oh Maggie, I'm so sorry to hear this bad news. (first word out of my mouth was worse than Expat Mum's) My heart aches for you, my friend. Together you and Eddie will kick some @$$ and get a plan together.

Hugs to you, dear one.

Thumbelina said...

Maggie,
Words fail me. But not that I can't pray. I am praying for you and God knows what is in your heart. Remember he is near to those broken at heart and crushed in spirit. (Psalm 34:18)
Psalm 27 is good too.

Hang in there girl. We're right with you.

((((hugs))))

Dimple said...

I pray my God, the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, the God of Jesus Christ, will touch your body and heal all your diseases. I pray that He will move the mountains of red tape and government indifference so you will have whatever care He knows you need in the time He knows is best. And I pray that He will give you His peace and strength. In Jesus name I pray these things for you, Maggie.
Love,
Dimple

Valleys Mam said...

double damn dog doodle
get em mving Maggie ,do what ever u hav eto to start killing off this menace
Hugs to u and Eddie
All the good vibes in my box are your too

Ayak said...

I don't know what to say Maggie, other than like all your other blogger friends you will be in my thoughts. I can well understand your anger...it's just ridiculous that you should have to wait for treatment. I hope your brother will kick some ass.

Love and hugs (( x))

Nessa said...

Maggie I am praying for you. And if you want to rant, you go right ahead. You are more than allowed.

Thursday Thirteen - Me & Music

aims said...

Oh Dammit Maggie!

This is not what the results were supposed to be.

I started my morning looking for an email from you and then rushed over here.

Please know - you are in my heart.

I am wondering if you still have your ovaries and if that is where it has come from.

I'm so sorry my friend. I'm sorry for your anguish and for the waiting.

I hope that kicking butt is going to get you in faster. I thought the word cancer opened doors before you got to them.

What is happening to our medical system and compassion?

Much love and prayers from across the ocean. Only email when you can.

xoxoxo
aims

The Green Stone Woman said...

Maggie, if I were you I would be kicking down doors and punching holes in walls. I would be so damn mad and now I am mad for you and I am glad that your brother is going to the doctor with you to demand immediate treatments. While this is not the outcome I had hoped for, I do want you to keep up this fighting spirit and keep looking out for #1, namely you! You are more than a number and should be treated with the highest care possible. I don't understand how you can have secondary cancer from your uterus if it was removed 20 years ago. That baffles my mind. I am sorry, I am quite upset on your behalf. I am actually quite pissed off. I feel like kicking down doors myself.

Much love and many hugs and all good thoughts to you from me.

Lindsay said...

I am so sorry Maggie to hear your news. I know what you are going through - I have had thyroid cancer, not once but twice, and each time there has been a delay with the diagnosis. I felt that this was the worst part just having to wait and once the treatment starts things got better. I wish you all the luck and "go with the flow".

Mimi said...

Maggie, first I'm sending you love and light.
But I'm also saying "no", this can't be. Do you think they could have got it wrong?
And finally, I'm glad you have a great activist-for-you in your brother- you need one, who will push at doors till they open.
Thinking of you, and sending hugs, lots of them.

Frank Baron said...

Hi Maggie. Hilary told me of your difficult news and I've come to wish you well.

That whirlwind of anger and angst you're experiencing is understandable. As is the worry regarding a belated start on treatment.

It seems you're surrounded by a good-sized clutch of caring folks, though. I have to think that all those positive thoughts heading your way are something of a head start on treatment, after all.

I'll add mine to the pile. :)

Moannie said...

If prayer is love, Maggie then we can move mountains for you. Rant and rave and badger and scream. No fair...no bloody fair.

Marguerite said...

Oh dear Maggie, my heart sank as I read your post. I was so sorry to hear your news and I don't blame you for being angry about the delay in treatment. I'm so glad that Eddie will be going with you and am hoping that you will get the answers that you seek. I have added your name to the prayer list at two of our churches, here and I will be praying for God to give you the strength to get through all of this. Love and hugs, Marguerite

RNSANE said...

You are so entitled to kick and scream to the rafters and then some. I cannot believe you get that kind of diagnosis and they don't have you in to see someone within a day or so. That is totally insensitive and outrageous.

I add my love and prayers to all your other supporters.

The Girl From Cherry Blossom Street said...

It is just NOT right!!!
I am very sorry, Maggie May! I wish I can make things better for you, and Eddie and his wife!

Hugs!!!!

Akelamalu said...

Oh buggeration, no wonder you're upset m'dear. The having to wait doesn't help does it. I'm praying for you and sending as much Reiki as I can muster. Keep believing - it will be OK. xxxx

Mary G said...

Holding good thoughts. Would be holding both thumbs only it is hard to type that way.
Misery.
Be your own advocate, Maggie, demand service, demand answers.
The nuts are obviously in the field of medicine.

Eddie Bluelights said...

Hang on in there Sis - I'm with you and you can count on me ~ Love Eddie xx

Jeni said...

Be angry! Go ahead and cuss and swear if you've a mind to do so. Rant at whatever and whoever too, if need be, that might be a hindrance for you. Get that out of your system so that when you do get in to see the doctor and actually begin treatment, your mind as well as your body, will then be ready -having made room then, figuratively speaking, for whatever the next step in the program may be.
And prayers -never a problem there, not at all! All your followers and then some will be working that prayer chain in your behalf.
(E-mail me please -need some other info from you. avonlady - at -gotmc.net

Lena said...

I'm gobsmacked that your appointments are left to linger like this.

I'm so very sorry to hear this. I'm puzzled, too, about the uterus diagnosis. Seems medics are really needing to pull there bloody socks up here!

Carol said...

Oh, Maggie....I haven't been around for a while but am SO SO glad I stopped in here, but SO SO angry to read your news. You are now on the top of my daily prayer list. Much love to you, Maggie Dear. You have lots of fans here praying and fighting with you~ xoxoxoxoxoxoxox

lailani said...

Prayers lifted for you - healing, peace, strength, wisdom. And for the doctors and those you meet along this path - wisdom, listening skills, compassion and open doors for treatment to begin!

Bernie said...

Maggie please know you are in my heart and prayers....I feel angry about all that is happening to you so I can only imagine how you must be feeling....I hate this disease and what it does to all those affected, may you channel your anger into fighting this dreadful disease....I thank God that you have Eddie beside you through this as I know all your family will be as well as your friends and all those who love you.....God Bless you my blogger friend, I am praying through my tears as I write this.......:-) Hugs always

Mickle in NZ said...

Dearest Maggie, my first reaction was unprintable. Thank goodness for your Eddie. Sending hope and love, and many gentle yet big cuddles,

Michelle xxxxxxx

Frankofile said...

Haven't been around for ages but read Ayak's post and - just don't understand any of this. Why from uterus; why 2 weeks' wait; why why why?

I'm just glad to be adding to the united howl that is going up here in your support. (May the prayers work, too).

gaelikaa said...

Of course I'll pray for you! My mother is a cancer survivor and you will be too. I'm with you in spirit. You just keep well, and let others take care of you for a while.

Crystal Jigsaw said...

Oh Maggie. What is going on. Life just isn't fair is it yet we have to endure the crap each and every day. Rant and shout from the roof tops and kick in as many doors as you want. It's always the good ones who suffer.

My love to you, CJ xx

Reasons said...

Wishing and hoping and praying and sending love and good, good wishes. xxxxx

Fat, frumpy and fifty... said...

Kick ASS woman!!! I'm so sorry to read this news, you must feel crushed and so angry...I hope they see you soon and you get to know your options and know that everyone here is behind you and will kick ass for you...pray and send good thoughts to you my dear!

(hug) and xxxxx


saz

softinthehead said...

You stamp your feet all you want to Maggie, life's a bitch - no doubt about it. But stay strong - we are all rooting(?) for you. lots of love

Wendy said...

Oh Maggie - how awful! Doesn't even sound possible - cancer from the uterus that you had removed 30 years ago???

Yes, get out there and kick butt! Send them cyberkicks too from all of us. We got big boots!!

Sending you lots and lots of prayers, my dear friend.

s said...

First: ALL MY PRAYERS MAGGIE!
SECOND: WARM HUGS !
THIRD : (IMPORTANT)
If you can make a trip to India/Bombay/Pune (where I live), please take the first available flight and I can assure you an immediate MRI scan (and report)in one of the best hospitals, within 24 hours of your landing. You can then return home and begin your treatment. It's only 7 hours flying time from UK to Mumbai. Be my guest in Pune. Pls consider and email me (if you would like to contact the hospital) at : xsaeed@gmail.com

Valerie said...

Awww Maggie, I'm playing catch-up and would have been here sooner if I'd known your news. You certainly have my prayers before and after you kick the doors down. Hugs and more hugs to ease the frustration you're feeling.