Tuesday, 7 June 2016

The Empty Chair

This will be a sad week as Harry would have been 77years old.  It is a strange feeling that a bit of him lives on in his identical twin who will now be a year older than Harry. His twin was half an hour younger than him, when he was alive.

I had my daughter and one of my grandsons round to stay for a few days last week and was taken to the crematorium where Harry's plaque is on a little wall in front of a lawn where his ashes were put. We stayed for a while in the tranquil place and put flowers in a glass vase.

My daughter took me to a garden centre where I bought a small insect house (that is supposed to encourage lone bees to lay their larva for the next year.) I treated myself to it and thought that it would make a kind of memorial to Harry and I hung it on the garden wall where I can see it from the kitchen window. 
Not sure if he was even remotely interested in insects but I could almost hear him saying, "Go on, treat yourself."
One thing I do know, though was that he really did love that Ceanothus shrub at the bottom of the garden. The sweet, heady smell of it permeates the garden and even reaches the kitchen. The bees are heavily attracted to it.

Both my children have been very kind and attentive lately and have taken me out and shared meals with me and I've seen the granddaughters a lot recently, too. So I have much to be thankful for.


Wisewebwoman said...

It's not easy is it Maggie, I have an hour of depth and despair and then I rise again to face another day and take pleasure in the small or simple things. My granddaughter brings me so much joy, my daughter fills me up with her stories and her challenging paid projects and my remaining friends fill in as best they can. Blogging also fills a void.

With you in spirit.


Marie Smith said...

Thinking of you this week, Maggie!

Celia said...

Love and hugs to you Maggie.

Gosia said...

Take care love from poland

ADDY said...

That chair does look so empty, but your memories are full. It's not easy on birthdays or anniversaries, is it? But I am sure he would have given his consent to the insect house. x

Rose said...

Days like this are hard. My mother's birthday in April was especially hard for my Dad. My sister-in-law and I were both with him that day, and I know it helped him to have someone with him that day. Mother's Day in May was the worst for me. I'm glad your daughter and grandsons were with you to share Harry's birthday. And I do think he would want you to treat yourself!

Expat mum said...

Thank goodness for your children. Sending you love. x

MARY G said...

The things they loved help. Friends help. Sending a huge virtual hug at least make me think it might help. I know you will have lots of family support. And he probably would have laughed and shaken his head at your insect house, and then got interested. So, maybe think of him doing that.

Secret Agent Woman said...

Oh. I'm sorry - that is a hard thing.

Not the same as losing your partner, of course, but I have twin brothers and one died at 23, back in 2001. Whenever I send the other a birthday card, I am always aware of how he continues to grow older while his brother remains frozen in time.

At any rate, holding you in my thoughts.

Beryl Ament said...

How lovely that you can smell the shrub he loved. It will bring back all the happy memories.

dianefaith said...

Beautiful post, Maggie, although a sad one. My father had an identical twin brother, so that part of your post tugged at some memories. I'm glad you've got family around to encourage you when days are tough.

Shammickite said...

How wonderful for you to have your family around you. It makes such a difference. The bees will make the most of the shrub and the little insect house I hope.... and I'm sure that Harry wanted you to buy it.

Jinksy said...

Ceanothus blue looks so beautiful, but I've never managed to get any to survive in my garden - you must have green fingers! LOL ♥

Eddie Bluelights said...

Sorry, Marg, I seem to have missed this post.
Very touching and I think you are doing very well.
Nice thought about the insect house ~ I am sure you have his blessing.

It's very nice to have fond memories of the Ceanothus shrub, one of his favs . . . :)

Hope to see you soon . . . love Eddie xx

Hilary said...

That's a very touching image, Maggie.. and post. I'm sorry it's been a tough time and I'm glad you have family who knows they're needed right now. And I have no doubt that Harry told you exactly that - "Go on, treat yourself." No doubt he was right in that chair when he said it.

Big hugs to you.

Suburbia said...

That's such a bitter sweet post Maggie. You are a brave lady.
So Harry's birthday was very close to mine...nice people Geminis!!
Your garden looks lovely. I hope the bees appreciate their new home, we used to have burrowing bees in our other house and they were really lovely (even though they''re insects!)
Best wishes and thinking of you this week
S xx

Ayak said...

I don't seem to have much time for blogging these days Maggie but thought I would just pop in and see how you are. I think of you often and hope you're doing OK. Lots of Love xxx

Satta King said...

Meri sochon ke harpal mein, tum kyo aa jaati ho,Mere dil ko anjane mein, tum kyon tadpaati ho,Is Daman mein to bas, kaanto ka gulshan hai,Phir is banjar duniya mein, kyon phool sajaati ho,Dewana bhi kehta hai, ye chand kahan se aaya,Taaron ke jhurmat mein, jab tum sharmaati ho,Phir koun na chahega, jeete jee hi marna,Apni aankhon mein jab, samundar bhar kar laati ho,In khushk fizaon mein, ghangoor gatta chha jaati hai,Chehre par mere jab bhi, zulfe lehrati ho,Is veerane se ghar mein, bahare lout aati hai,Jab dil ke darwaze par, dastak de kar jaati ho,Ye dil to pagal hai, bas jhoomta rehta hai,” Tum mere HUMSAFAR ho”, jab keh kar jaati ho. satta king
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