By The Skin Of My Teeth

Photos copyright: Maggie May

I feel that I only got to chemo four by the skin of my teeth.

It was delayed by one week and I also felt that I was being dissuaded from carrying on. When I asked a ward nurse about this, she said that they were trying to give me a way out if I felt I had had enough, as I was suffering a bit because of my white blood cells being depleted and my digestive tract being so upset following chemo 3. However, they didn't reckon on my stamina and my belief that I am a fighter and that I won't give in.

You might well be getting heartily fed up with me writing about cancer related things all the time but I feel that as one in three of us will get cancer at some time in our lives, that I want to somehow or other, help take away the stigma from a once feared word and let everyone know that they can talk about it and that hiding behind fear, or avoiding it, will not make it go away.

I went in to Oncology early morning last Tuesday and had a full blood count taken straight away and found out quite soon that my white cells had perked up to a very good reading. I then had to wait for liver and kidney function tests that would take an hour and a half.

I chose a good vein to have the cannula put in to, one that hadn't been violated before because it does cause pain for weeks afterwards and theres no way that I would let them use the same vein twice. I had my pre chemo drugs put in right away.

The liver test reading came back and proved to be a bit low, but the doctor said that I could go ahead with chemo as long as I get another reading at my doctors in a week. I cannot get my head round that as surely this chemo will make it worse, but never mind perhaps there would be some treatment I could have. Anyway you can see that I did get into chemo four by the skin of my teeth.

I knew that if I took photos on the ward that might upset everyone, so I decided that I would take pictures for you to see when I went to the toilet. Reading that back I realise that statement could be taken the wrong way and I want to make it perfectly clear that I was NOT going to take a picture of me on the toilet but I wanted to take photos of the chemo bag and pump. The chemo is pumped in by electricity and when I go to the toilet, I have to pull out the wire that connect to the main socket, from the back of the pump and cancel the ensuing alarm. The pump then continues to work using a stored battery.

I have to then try not to tangle the long drip tube that trails everywhere or yank out the cannula in my right hand. That would definitely start the alarm up into action. Everything I do is with my left hand and seems very clumsy.

We are encouraged to drink masses of water throughout the sessions of chemo so we all seem to trundle to the toilet many times. I am on the ward for about six hours and I do find it a puzzle that I come back from several toilet trips and find the alarm is quiet and that no tubes have tangled up, and yet when I am sitting quietly reading a book, the alarm goes into spasms sending nurses scurrying to deal with it even though I don't feel I have done anything to upset it.

The time seemed to pass OK. Felt sleepy and had lots of naps. I really hope that I didn't snore at any stage.

The one depressing thing that I found this time round was that I saw more quite young people having chemo and some were only in their teens or early twenties.

That is something that I am grateful for....... this disease did not hit me while I was young.

I am at present, feeling tired and weary, itchier than I have ever been in my life...... to the point of pain and my digestion is all upset. No sign of chemo brain so there's always something to be thankful for. I had a few visitors today and it was sunny. Good to look at through the window.

I promise you that I will write a different kind of post next time. Something that will be fitting to Spring.

Two Dogs Meet

Hosted by Cecily and MamaGee

While on a day trip recently, I came across this dog made of pieces of metal, nuts and bolts that were skillfully put together to look as though they had been made of junk, I think.

Any way, I thought it would make a really good photo so I snapped it straight away.

Imagine my surprise when I transferred the photo onto the computer and I saw the real dog in the corner!

At the time I took this photo, I honestly didn't notice it at all. I guess it was moving quite quickly.

Do you think I could have been quick enough to capture this scene if it had been engineered? No way!

Photostory Friday is hosted by Cecily and MamaGeek. Why not join in this week?

My Hundredth Post!

This is my hundredth post so I am awarding myself some flowers!

When my son persuaded me to start a blog in the new year, I was not at all enthusiastic and didn't even know what a blog was. I soon enjoyed reading other people's posts and left comments on their work. I was amazed when I received my first comment and was so excited.

I quickly got into the habit of writing posts. I wrote about real things close to my heart, family, friends, experiences, feelings, illness, pets, upsets as well as funny things and ordinary things.

When my new found friends started giving me awards, I thought I had it made!!!!!!

Of course my son had to set it all up because I am useless at technical stuff. Now that he has moved to his own home, I think he is really fed up with me for asking him to fix things that I can't do, when he drops the children off fleetingly, for me to take to school in the mornings, as he has to work full time. It was easy when he was a stay at home dad and living here, as I could ask him without causing a nuisance. 

I wish that I could do all the technical stuff myself and live in fear of the computer or router going wrong. I like to think that he is proud of the way I have reached this 100th post, but have a sneaky feeling that he wishes that he'd never started it!

I have really enjoyed the blogging and also taking photos to put on my posts. Adding photos was a major step forward and I have decided that I will not be using anything that I cannot photograph for my posts! I also never put pictures of  any of us on the blog. Not of our faces anyway. There's nothing wrong with any of our faces, its just a choice I have made!

Anyway, I have arrived at my hundredth post, and even if I never manage any more, it is an achievement! Thank you all for making it so!

Harry & I are going back to my daughters for 5 days. She is going through a tough time and wants us to return. As I have another week till I go back to school it is an opportunity for us to do that.

The hospice are keeping son in law in till next weekend and have suggested that they don't see each other or contact each other, so that Deb might have a bit of respite from him. It has all got a bit complicated and will not go into details about it. However, people can only take so much......

Back soon.

Camera Nightmares!

This week David Mcmahon from authorblog: Weekend Wandering asks "What Is Your Worst Camera Nightmare?"

Well this topic seems to have been put out just for me! Most things to do with photography can be a nightmare for me! My new found hobby is being really thwarted because of my lack of technical skills. Its not so much the taking of pictures that causes me trouble, because I am getting better at that, but there is still a problem with links, that is really doing my head in! I was hoping to join a photo story club but I have no idea how to get the draft from blogger into the link so unless some one can come up with help, this will not materialize. My technical support always seems to be out or too busy!

My very first camera was a Brownie 127 by Kodak. It took black and white small photos, which had to be taken to the chemist to be developed. Colour was only for the rich (in America) when I was twelve. This camera was fairly straightforward and I took some good photos with it.

Over the years I took photos of holidays and important events with different colour cameras. Some were instant and produced a snap will you waited, but most had to be developed. Mistakes with these type of cameras were quite costly, so I didn't really do much snapping over the years.

The worst group of photos that I have ever taken, were of holiday shots in Cyprus. I took two reels of film with me and put them in my suitcase. The film boxes were sealed, but after we got home and I went to collect the photos from the chemist, the pictures were barely visible and looked as though they had a foggy mist over every one. So although there was nothing wrong with the way I'd taken the photos, somewhere along the line of processing, a fault had occurred. Some one had warned me that xray machines at the airport, could do that to a film. Wish I had listened.

Well I am not dwelling on the mistakes and I certainly will not show any of the worst of my snaps. I have included one from my travels. I wasn't really being nosey looking into someone's window. I was interested in the ivy up the wall. I can almost see the curtain twitching though! My ambition is to be able to get quite close in to take a tiny butterfly on a flower. So far the butterflies only seem to emerge when I have no camera at hand. As soon as I run to get it, they disappear. 

My long suffering husband now not only has to put up with me trawling the blogs but also has me waiting about in the garden for creatures that might come but on the other hand might not! 

The Waiting Game!

I have been sorting out the photos that I took during the half term, when Sam, Amber, Millie and I travelled a good way to the sea only to find when we got there it emptied down with rain.

Although Sam was the one who first got me started on putting one photo at a time on my post, it was Crazy Cath who wrote me a very good email explaining how to put multiple photos on one post. So this is my first attempt at multi photos. Thanks Sam and Crazy Cath.

What can you do with two young children cooped up in a car while a storm blows outside? Only one other car in the car park!

Well you could give Millie driving lessons! And look out of the window and gaze at the storm or start eating your sandwiches one hour early!

Whatever is Amber doing? Maybe she has dropped a sandwich! Getting a bit bored with the waiting now!

At last! A gap in the storm and ten minutes on the deserted beach before the next downpour that involved hail, thunder and lightening!

Ah well, it made a change from the city!

Hair Raising Styles!

This week David Mcmahon  asked us "Have we ever had a hairstyle that makes us cringe when we think about it now?" There is a link to "Weekend Wandering"  so that he can check your comments.

Nearly all my hairstyles from the past make me cringe! I think that hairstyles date a person more than anything else, when looking at the family hairdos in photos from the distant past!

I have never been really satisfied with my hair as it is very fine and straight with fly about tendencies as you can see from this recent photo!

Apparently when I was born I had masses of it and it was very black. However this all dropped out early on and became mid brown.

My photos of early years, during or shortly after the war,

revealed short hair cut in a straight bob, with a ribbon tied into bows on either side. Some times there was just one bow and I have school photos where I looked decidedly bedraggled with the bow hanging out. Nowadays, I don't think schools would be so unkind as to take photos of children like that anymore. In fact the photos the children at school have taken these days, usually show them in a very good light, from what I have seen.

Early teenage years shows me with permed hair! Can you imagine it! Crinkly curly hair. I was so into curly hair then and thought I looked brilliant.

Later on, I had a huge pink streak put in my hair. That was during the mid teens. During the sixties, we wore winkle picker shoes and hoops under our skirts and yards of netted, frilly underskirts that we dunked into sugar & water, thinking that it would make them stiffer. This was followed by bouffant hair styles, which were furiously back combed and then smoothed over at the top & lacquered down. Hair used to get split ends during this terrible treatment and had to be a bit longer on top so as to cover all the knots. We used to rock'n'roll into the night & my poor Dad never saw the end of his TV programmes  as he had to take me to different dance halls. Sometimes I came home on motor bikes and there were no crash helmets in those days.

Well, getting back to hairstyles....... when I was a young mother, my hair had grown shoulder length and was coloured bright mahogany red. I used to pin it up into a pony tail and then back comb it into a bun & pin it into shape. I kept this style for quite a long time, as it was neat & tidy. My son, who had started school, by then, came home crying because an other child had told him, "Your mother has a bun on her head." He obviously thought the child meant a currant bun and was most offended!

During the eighties, I wore my hair in an Afro style, tightly permed. This really looked appalling on me, but I thought I looked the cat's whiskers! 

Well, the time slipped by & now my short tresses are silvery & tend to spike up a bit. I don't think many older women can wear their hair long & look stunning! However if this provokes an out rage of ladies who know better, then I shall be very pleased to have caused it and look forward to hearing your opinion on the matter.

This brings me back to which hairstyle was the most awful? Probably a cross between the Afro and the pink streak! Or maybe its the latest one?

A Little Corner of My Garden.

This is a picture of a little feature in my garden and I took the photo myself and managed to get the picture into this post without help. I am feeling VERY pleased!

My garden is only small, but it is packed with little ornaments and things and I intend to post a view every now and then. Now that am able to snap & post!

Wahey!