Warning

Warning

When I am an old woman I shall wear purple

With a red hat which doesn't go and doesn't suit me.

And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves

And satin sandals, and say we've no money for butter.

I shall sit down on the pavement when I'm tired

And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells

And run my stick along the public railings

And make up for the sobriety of my youth.

I shall go out in the slippers in the rain

And pick the flowers in other people's gardens

And learn to spit.

You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat

And eat three pounds of sausages at a go

Or only bread and pickle for a week

And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes.

But now we must have clothes that keep us dry

And pay our rent and not swear in the street

And set a good example for the children.

We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.

But maybe I ought to practise a little now?

So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised

When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.

- Jenny Joseph (1961)

This poem by Jenny Joseph has always made me feel that there is an element of truth in it. 

So alright, I am already fairly old but there's no way that I'd eat three pounds of sausages or indeed any sausages. I already wear a lot of purple and I sometimes get an overwhelming feeling to shock, though I never do. I hoard pencils and things in boxes and sometimes go out to the bin in my slippers on a rainy day.

I wonder how long it will be before I start to do the other things as well?

Maybe everyone had better watch out.


Is there an element of this poem in you?

The Great British Weather!

This week, David  asks, "When Did You Last Complain About The Weather?" 

What are you joking? We are living in England for Heaven's sake! We complain about it all the time!

We have a poem. Not sure where it comes from.  I had to learn it at school. Maybe it is folklore.

Whether the weather be cold

Or whether the weather be hot,

We'll weather the weather

Whatever the weather,

Whether we like it or not! 

Most British people do just that because it never seems to be the same twice! There is plenty to talk about and that is why we British always remark about the weather to every one, every day!

You can speak to a perfect stranger and say, "Good morning, not so nice today!" Or "Is it going to rain, do you think?" Or "Nice weather for ducks!"

Some how or other our weather seems to bond us together and we are noted on the Continent for always talking about it. One of the great British eccentricities! Well that's OK its good to be different.

We are probably noted for our stoical approach to the weather and the fact that we will go for strolls down country lanes in rain or hot sunshine. Mad dogs and Englishmen ......... out in the noon day sun!

However, we do seem to complain a lot about our weather.

When I was a child, my Dad had an autograph album, but instead of having famous people write in it, he got all the relatives to write a poem or a drawing in there. I remember Auntie Minnie writing:-

As a rule

A man's a fool.

When it's hot 

He wants it cool,

When it's cool

He wants it hot!

He's always wanting

What is not!

That little verse stuck out in my mind. I wish we still had the autograph album as all the people in it would be dead by now.

I think the last time I really complained about the weather was when we had to go back to school in perfect sunshine, after the storm during our holiday traveling, that I have already written about!

You can link to  authorblog: Weekend Wandering  

"SOMEONE"

We have a certain "someone" 

Who steals about our house

And it's not an elf or fairy 

Who creeps silent as a mouse!

It tidies up just anything

And puts the toys away.

It follows every bit of mess

From where the children play.

The rubbish disappears so fast.

From the magic kitchen bin,

No one sees who empties it

Or puts the liner in!

This "someone" always gets the blame

For hiding things from sight.

Remote control & socks & keys

Are lost into the night.

Could this be the same "someone" then,

Who cleans, yet hides away?

That "someone" many seem to think

Might just be Maggie May!