This week David with his Weekend Wandering asks "How Do You Choose Your Friends?" I feel that friendship is something that happens as you get to know people, usually when there is some kind of common ground, such as children or pets or hobbies. I feel there is a kind of chemistry that bonds people.
Some friendships fizzle out as people grow in different directions. Some times that is sad, but sometimes it can be a relief when one or the other drops away.
Although I have made dozens of acquaintances, I can count on one hand true friendships that are highly valued. These are the kind that give and take and are somehow made of cement!
Blogging has given me lots of virtual friends and I am truly overawed by the people I have got to know through this fairly new hobby. Even with this, some friends seem closer than others. It is a great hobby and I hope that it will continue to blossom. I feel I really know you all!
I had already prepared this account of a recent day at work with Connie and thought I would let every one know how it feels when a friendship is not perfect! A working relationship can be with some one that you'd never really give a second glance to outside the job or it can develop into true friendship. I have a certain affection for Connie but have no desire to see her outside work although she has tried to arrange meetings before. (I am not very nice!)
I have worked with Connie for a long time. I know she means well and can be a really sincere and kind person but she can also really put her foot in it!
The very fact that I am writing this makes me somewhat annoyed with my self. After all, its not very pleasant running down a work colleague, but it is my blog and I need the therapy of writing this down and getting it off my chest!
At the best of times, Connie can be irritating. She has the habit of asking me at least six times an hour if I am alright! I have repeatedly assured her that I am and that she doesn't need to ask again that day.
"Are you alright?" she starts. I usually smile & nod or make some facial gesture that I am indeed OK! But that isn't good enough. She will then go on, "Do you hear that, Maggie? Are you alright?" I might make another gesture that I am. She will then come over and hit my arm for attention. "I said are you alright, Maggie?"
"Yes." I reply, "I am alright." Under my breath I am thinking "Or at least I was until you started this!"
"Pardon?" she shouts. She is a little deaf.
"I AM FINE," I shout back, trying not to show my irritation.
Connie has the habit of going on about my age. She is eleven years younger than me. She talks to me as though I am her mother and in fact, calls me "Mother" frequently. I have often assured her that I was a very good girl when I was eleven years old, so I could not possibly be her mother. I can laugh at this situation when I'm in the right mood and go a long with the joke. Only it isn't a joke- she seems to believe it. To hear her talk you'd think I was a hundred years old. Well, if I was, she'd be eighty nine!
Sometimes at work, its best to keep quiet about certain situations that might arise. Situations that we do not want to draw anyone's attention to. However Connie might say,"Why, what's the problem? Do you hear that Maggie? What is it? What's the secret?" She doesn't seem to see the eye rolling or the frantic, silent mouthing, "Tell you later" from the rest of us. Well I am sure you've got the picture by now.
The other day was hard for me as it was the day that our son in law was having the tumour removed from the back of his brain. I knew it was happening at the very same time I was working. The afternoon was dragging really unusually slowly. Everyone at work knows the situation, but I hadn't told any one that the operation was that day, least of all Connie. I just didn't want any one to know how or what I was feeling.
All my other working colleagues are great and respect my space, as they know what is going on in my life. Not that it affects my work in anyway, as I can lose myself in it, but that afternoon did drag on.
"Maggie," Connie piped up, "Your face is changing. You are definitely looking older!"
"We all are, Connie," I almost spat out.
"Are you feeling alright, Maggie?" she started yet again. "Maggie, I said are you alright Maggie?Maggie are you OK?"
Thank God I didn't have a sledge hammer in my hand!
Inside my head I am thinking,"Will you bloody well shut up!"
Oh Maggie we have all been there. Work being one of those situations were unfortunately we can choose our playmates. But Maggie ......I hope you are alright :)
Just popped by via David's blog to see you were okay. Did you hear me Maggie, ARE YOU OKAY????? LOL! I fully understand...day in day out stuff like this IS annoying!
Are you sure she isn't Michael Jackson in disguise? "Maggie are you OK, Maggie are you OK, are you OK Maggie?"
Oh wait, it was "Annie"! LOL!
I can't believe you held your tongue!!! Congratulations for doing so. You must be a really 'nice person' to put up with her!
Not sure if it's appropriate to ask about the op. Best wishes to you and yours.
That would drive me completely nuts. Oh wait... isn't your blog called Nuts in May? Maybe she already has driven you nuts.
I don't think I could hold my tongue like you did. Congrats on that. And oh, I apologize for lowering the tone over at my place. It was late last night and I was feeling strange. I hope you weren't too offended...
What a tactless, thoughtless, embarrassing woman. I think you should let go of your tongue one day, I'm sure you'd still be graceful. The stress of listening to that each day! Yikes, what a colleague, she'd drive me round the bend.
All best wishes for your son-in-law and daughter. And you x
She sounds like a little jumpy chihuhua "Are you all right, Maggie. Maggie, are you all right. Did you hear me, Maggie? Maggie, I said did you hear me? huh Huh huh...Maggie?" God bless you, dear Maggie. And God Bless you SIL and family. Your in my prayers.
Maggie, you are a saint to be able to put up with that nonsense! I think I'd have to turn it around on her. "Are you okay, Connie? Your face is changing! You are going gray before my very eyes! Are you SURE you're okay?"
At least it would get the focus off of you.
Peace - D
You could preempt her and every 15 minutes or so say, "Connie, in case you're wondering, I'm okay."
Better yet, you need a sign to keep on your desk. It should read: I'm okay. It's you I wonder about."
softinthehead.......... Really fine!
Denise.......... good of you to pop over. Thank you I am fine!
Working mom..... well she might be......
Suburbia ...... SIL Recovering in hospital. No news of anything yet. Thanks for asking.
Carolyn........Yeah... we're all nuts here!
Merry ........ In my good moments it is funny. Just depends on my mood.
Mignon .......A jumpy chihuahua....... mmmmmmmmhhh! Not sure about that. More like an Afghan!
Momma........ yeah .... that's sounds like a good idea. I will try that!
Quilly........ I like that! I will have to turn the tables around. thinking cap on.
Very thought provoking question from David. Friendship is incredibly important, I have been thinking about one in particular myself recently, of which I miss very much.
Connie sounds like a caring person, however annoying she may be. I'm sure she thinks very highly of you. It is terribly frustrating though isn't it, when someone persistently asks the same question!
Every time she repeats herself like that just dig your fingers into her arm and smilingly reassure her that indeed you are. They don't call me stinking billy for nothing!
Just wondering how your son-in-law is doing Maggie and hoping the operation went really well.
How is son-in-law doing now? What about your daughter? Poor thing, a lot on her plate x
She sounds an absolute horror!
Hope son-in-law is recovering well and that the news is good.
Crystal........ you are really kind & obviously see only good in people.I will slap my wrist.
Stinking Billy ........ That is cruel!
Aims, Family Affairs & LIZ.......SIL is recovering in hospital. No results through yet. Thanks for enquiries. I will have to post when we know some more.
Connie does sound irritating! Is she an anxious person? It sounds as if she has just got into a habit! I think that momma has the best idea. Every time Connie asks if you are alright, try saying 'yes thanks, are you alright?'. She may then begin to understand how irritating she is being.
It was downright rude of her to say that you were looking older. A person who could get away with looking no older, would be a very lucky person, indeed! I would imagine that she has observed your current worried expression! You will have an instant 'facelift' as soon as your daughter/son-in-law situation is relieved! Fingers crossed for all of you, of course.
Thanks for your comment at my site. I was prepared for people to run off and not say anything!
I agree with Mean Mom - the reply should be "I'm fine but what about you?" or words to that effect.
You'll get your reward in the hereafter!
Mean mom..... Connie is the most laid back person you could ever get. It IS her way of caring.. But........ We all have a fondness for her but we all do get irritated!
Expatmum...... I have visions now of us both asking how each other are & it going on for an hour! I will definitely rethink my replies!
I would have said something I think - but then I'm not as nice a person as you are!
It must be really hard to work with her sometimes. I have a very close friend, of 16 years, or is a total interrupter and only talks about herself. I have finally, after all these years, said to her, "Can you stop interrupting me?" Or "I'm still talking Kathy!"
And I asked her one time why she never lets me talk about me and my problems. It didn't take long. She now asks about me and my family and if she finds herself interrupting me she'll say, "Oh, I'm sorry, go ahead".
I reply to the "Are you alright" questions with, "I'm fine, are YOU okay?" And when people say things like "You look old, tired, ill, etc." I always reply in a sugary sweet voice, "Why, thank you!"
My continued prayers for you and yours.
Flowerpot ....... I sometimes don't think I'm very nice.
Bina ... You & Kathy must have a firm friendship to have withstood the butting in problem & you pointing it out. Good for you.
Mrs Fox....... Brilliant. Will try that.
It sounds a bit like she really, really, really wants to bond with you, she just doesn't knwo quite how to go about it. Reading this, I feel quite sorry for her (but emphathise with the desire for a sledgehammer!)
Hi Maggie. Thanks for stopping by my blog and leaving a comment. I'm enjoying reading through your blog and can sympathise with the Connie situation ;-) Papoosue x
In Aussie slang, a ``connie'' is a conductor! I always tell people that I do get older, but I think younger and I get wiser, so that's the big picture!!
By the way, Maggie, R U OK?!!!
(Chuckling - sorry I couldn't resist that!)
Hello again Maggie,
Glad to hear you're alright, ALRIGHT? The funny thing is, once you stop working with her, you'll probably never think about her ever again. I do sympathise, though. I once worked with a girl called Myra who moaned non-stop and stank the place out with fag-breath and orange Doritos.
All I can say is ... you're VERY patient .... I had a manager once who thought that to be able to work together everyone should be friends .... not a good idea, especially since he was forever organising 'social occasions' outside of work ... what a pain that can be! I'm friendly at work (or so I believe) ... but being frindly anf having friends are two different things ... I'm with you on this one, maggie may ....
Hi Maggie - I don't know why it took me so long to get over here and read this, but I was just wondering..
Are you alright? *chuckle*
Good post. Different angle.
Thoughts and prayers still with you, daughter and SIL.
girl with a mask ....... I think she does too! I am a heel!
Papoosue... Welcome to my blog & thanks for commenting on the Connie crisis!
David ..... what a good response. I will remember that because it is true!
Gome back south....... Glad to see you! You have a lot of catching up to do with every one!
omykiss........ That IS a pain when we are all expected to work together & then dine together! We all have to do that too......... Sometimes have a good time :-)
Crazy Cath ......... Thanks for your continued prayer support! But you should know better than to ask if I'm alright!
oh my stars, i think i'd go stark raving mad!
here via david's and to thank you for your earlier visit to my place.
Oh MY GOD you have just described a Dispatcher I worked with her name is Debbie...she was so annoying that several of us cruelly wrote a song about her...I used to like Debbie now I don't...bad on us, I know...but she even did the constant "are you alright?" thing...if we were in our cars and out of her sight was one thing, but if we standing right in front of her obviously not bleeding or crying....loved this post, no wonder it got special mention from David...who sent me over, by the way...
May be she is just lonely and needs to hear your voice.
She sounds jelous of you, may be not as skilled as you, thats often why people need to "point" out.
develop your own irritating question for her -like coping ok Connie
Lime ........ thanks for visiting me!
Sandi Mcbride............... She is not a dispatcher. there must be two of them! How funny.
valleys mam ........ No she's not the jealous type. I think that she just doesn't stop to think! A bit naive.
EVERY ONE. I HAD WONDERED IF ANY ONE WOULD QUESTION THE CHOICE OF PICTURE & NOT ONE OF YOU DID. SO I AM GOING TO TELL YOU ANYWAY.
ROOTS OF FRIENDSHIP.
SOMETHING A BIT GRATING ABOUT IT, LIKE THE SUBJECT MATTER.
SOMETHING TUMOUR LIKE ABOUT IT. SEEMED TO FIT THE BILL.
Oh my. I think I work with her twin! Tho, trust me, I am not nice to her at all when she bugs me.
Re the picture - aha, I think I at least forgot to mention it because I was transported by your words!! Or something like that :)
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