Friday, 11 April 2008

The Unexpected Visit.

It's always lovely when my daughter comes to visit with the grandsons. Sometimes the boys' school holidays coincide beautifully with the school where I work, but this last one was completely out of sync.
After thinking that we wouldn't be seeing each other this time, she suddenly announced that she would visit after all and would leave husband to his own devices and come on Saturday and go home on the following Tuesday, which was the last day of the the boys' school holiday.
Its not a happy marriage and I think she comes to escape and have a bit of peace (if you can call our house peaceful, that is.) You know what I mean, though, a little time out of the unhappy environment!

Anyway, after a tiring journey of six hours that should have only taken half that time, she was surprised when her car engine completely cut out just outside our house. Luckily a neighbour, who happens to be a mechanic, looked at the car and told her that the alternator had broken and obviously she would need a garage. He also told her she was lucky that it didn't cut out on the motor way as it could have done. The thought of that was terrifying.  Anyway it was late on Saturday afternoon by then, so no chance of getting to a garage until Monday.

She decided to try and make the best of it and to enjoy her freedom over the holiday and not worry about the car or whether she'd make it back to her home town  in time for school and work.
Although the weather was not bad earlier on, it suddenly turned very cold. The two boys were very pent up after their long journey and the thought of her not having her car for the weekend, with its seven seats was a bit daunting. They had been promised trips out!
The next day it was decided to take Harry's car and Sam's and for us to go to a beautiful place that the children love to visit, in a valley, near a large stream and if everyone managed the trip through the woods, there was the treat of a really good children's play area at the end of the walk.

Before we set off there was a phone call from daughter's husband to say he was very ill and needed a doctor. She was not sure if this was for real or if he was trying to ruin her weekend. So from our house she rang her own doctor for a home visit. Apparently he had a really bad headache and was sick!!!!!!! Well I ask you! However there was the niggling worry that it might be serious. She had  already explained that the car was not working, so she couldn't get home. 

Considering the four grand children were such a mixture of ages, 3,5,9 & 11 yrs, they all managed the walk very well, but took a long time to get to the play area, having stopped off to play near the water and look at this, that and the other. Eventually they all got onto the childrens' swings and slides and were having such a wonderful time even though it started to get really cold.  Without warning it started to snow and within minutes the whole place looked magical and white. It didn't last and the flurry was soon over and the snow melted, much to the disappointment of the children.
In all the excitement Millie wet her pants and poor Sam had to carry her home, her wet bottom on his arm as she was much too tired to walk the distance back to the cars. Anyway it was very enjoyable but we were all a bit worried about the sick husband.

Next day, after many phone calls to many garages, daughter's car was taken to the other side of the city to one that promised to replace the alternator by the evening, so we relaxed a bit, realizing that she would make it home in time for work and school, after all!
The car was picked up with a reconditioned alternator, the bill paid and phone calls made to the sick husband who had had an injection & some tablets & an appointment was being made for scans........... A bit worrying !
The boys were so kind and understanding with their little cousins and a good time was had by all, though every one was made to feel a bit guilty about the sick husband. No one knows if he is really sick or whether it was manipulation to ruin the weekend. Only time will tell. He did manage to put a damper on the weekend from afar, though!

Anyway, they are safely home now and we really do miss them all and are slightly worried about the situation, no one likes to see their children unhappy. 
However, when she comes here, she really has a relaxed and enjoyable time and we were so glad to have the unexpected visit!


Stinking Billy said...

Oh, the sadness of unhappy marriages, especially those of our offspring. There is so little we can do and we feel so helpless. However, I find it amazing what I can get off my chest in blogging, it may not always help the one I worry about but it sure as hell helps me. My best wishes for your daughter, Maggie.

aims said...

I hope the husband's illness is nothing more than manipulation on his part..which is sad in itself if it is. I actually don't know what I'd do in your position.

I'm with Billy - best of luck to your daughter...and lovely calming thoughts for you.

Suburbia said...

Oh wow Maggie what a worry. I know my mum still worries about each and every small thing that happens to us. In my past life I have had an unhappy marriage (luckily no children involved) and it is so difficult to deal with. Small children must seriously add to the difficulties. She will have gathered strenght from seeing you and just knowing that there are people there who love you goes a long way. Nothing lasts forever (good or bad) so things will sort themselves out, even though that may be of little comfort now.Tinking of you all.
Best wishes

Unknown said...

What a nice visit you had! And yay for your grandson carrying his sister with her wet bottom! That's a true gentleman!

Maggie May said...

Billy ...... getting things off your chest in blogging is a wonderful thing. You can say practically anything & somehow feel better for it. And friends are so helpful too & accept everything without question! Thanks for good wishes.

aims ........ there's nothing I can do. Just be there & listen to the phone calls when she wants some one to talk to. Manipulation & control seem to be his usual tactics but I can't wish illness on him, that will only make things worse!

Surburbia .... I think that sometimes you have to put up with things for the children's sake. The next few years & they will be more independent, not that any of us would wish their lives away. Everything is too precious.
Glad you found happiness after your first unhappy marriage.

Sniz ...... Sam is MY son, Amber's dad, but you wouldn't be expected to know that. Two grandsons are the oldest children & belong to my daughter & the grandaughters are small & belong to my son. 2 boys are cousins to 2 girls.

Elizabeth Musgrave said...

I identified with you here, maggie. Hope your daughter went home refreshed. There is nothing you can do other than what you are doing I am sure. Sound like lovely children.

david mcmahon said...

Thank goodness the car was fixed in time. I can sense the worry in your mind.

There are many levels of issues there and I pray for a solution.

By the way, with this new macro lens I'm testing, I'll take up your challenge. Remember you said I could turn a bowl of peas into art?

Well, I'll give it my best (ahem) shot ...

Irene said...

Maggie, no matter how old your kids become, you never stop caring and worrying, do you? I know this so well. I hope your daughter leaves her unhappy marriage, but it is a decision only she can make. It is hard when there are children involved. Good for you to have made a nice long weekend of it.

Maggie May said...

Elizabeth M ....... No , I can only do what I'm already doing. She is always refreshed after a visit away.

David .. I remember very well saying you could make a work of art out of a bowl of peas. I will check that out!

Irene ......No I suppose this concern for our children continues for ever.
I think financially it is not an option, at the moment. Unless ,of course, she suddenly found it unbearable & didn't care.

Anonymous said...

when do we stop worrying about them Maggie.
Relationships always loom large in that.
My eldest is on her six months will I keep him will I ditch him period. My youngest has decided she does not need a man and has sworn off relationships for a year- mmmmm see what happens with that.
My stepson is getting wed in August - hes 33 they have been to gether 6 years. I feel uneasy about them. My other step son is waiting on a second baby at any moment and is at last settled with his partner, they are lovely together - but its taken a while.

Laura Jane Williams said...

Sounds like you bring a lot of sunshine to her life... she is lucky to have you!


Mya said...

I get very excited and wet my pants when it snows too! Glad I'm not the only one.

Sounds like a lovely walk and I'm sure your daughter appreciates your support.

Mya x

Maggie May said...

Valleysmam ........ Nice to hear about your family. Exciting a new baby just about to be born. Its a pity we have to keep our mouths shut when we feel something is not right about our children's chosen one. Trouble is, if we say anything that would cement the relationship even more.

Girl with a mask ....... Aaaahhh... thanks for those kind words.

Mya ........ that made me laugh!!!!

imac said...

Hi, Glad your daughter enjoyed her stay, hope all turned out well with Hubby.
Love your photo and story, made a very heartfelt post.

Sorry about the imac,lol, and thanks for the kind comments.

Mean Mom said...

Lovely to share your outing and your confidences. I'm glad that you all had a good time, in spite of everything else, and that the car was repaired in time. Fingers crossed for husband's health, because his illness would just make a poor situation worse.

Carolyn said...

The whole snowy surprise walk sounded beautiful, but I'm a little bit annoyed with the husband. Come on buddy! Suck it up and be sick without ruining everyone's weekend. Sounds like manipulation to me. Keep us posted on his recovery. God forbid I should be berating some guy I don't even know when he was actually sick and needed my sympathies instead. And good luck to your daughter. I've had a bumpy marriage at times myself, so I know it's difficult. Best wishes to her.

Suzy said...

I am so happy your daughter has you and knows exactly where she feels the happiest and safest and where guilt and stress can take a vacation.

Unfortunately, manipulative people cannot let others take the rest and reprieve they deserve.

With some people there is always a hook.

Take care.


Maggie May said...

imac ..... didn't mean it about the iMac... you're still a friend!

mean mom ..... the husband is back at work but had a few days off & is waiting for a brain scan! (I'm tempted to say something, but I won't!)

Carolyn ....... Manipulation is a bad thing. Throwing up & headaches..... well we all have that in our lives from time to time! He always manages to make us feel guilty though!

Suzy ....... Yes, he had the chance to come too, but he doesn't like family gatherings! So he tried to wreck it from afar. There's still a sneaky feeling it could be serious though! He's had continual headaches for weeks, but guess its sinking in just how fed up my daughter is & how it looks unlikely that things will patch up & also a job move that he doesn't like, so it could be stress!

Dusty Spider said...

I've tagged you so that I can find out more about you. Please pop over to my blog for the details. Flick xx

Mr Pineapples said...

Wow Maggie - I bet Rod is very proud of this blog

Dusty Spider said...

Glad you all had a lovely time, in spite of car breakdowns, "sick" husbands and the weather! What troopers you are! Flick xx

Mr Pineapples said...

Maggie - you are officially awarded the Mr P Irony Award. Most folks when receiving a "vile message" from Mr P - complain !! Well most Americans do anyway.

But you?


A True Brit - if I ever saw one.

Keep up the Good-Work and we still cant understand why you ditched Rod..and allowed him to go back to school.

Maggie May said...

Flick .... I will do the tag at a later date!
Thanks for kind remarks.

Mr Pineapple ........... as I said on your blog ..... I ditched Rod ages ago!

Cath said...

Glad you got to see your daughter and grandchildren. It must be very hard for you when you see her pulled from pillar to post emotionally, but you are giving her what she needs - a blt hole, peace, safety and her mum.

Keep it up Maggie! Hard as it is. Nice to see the pictures up - well done!

Jules said...

The snow picture is lovely. And having family visit always brightens the day, doesn't it.

So sorry to hear that your daughter is having some trouble with things. I hope things work out for her and the kids.

Maggie May said...

Crazy Cath& Jules........ many thanks for your kind comments!